Dark Star Reclaiming Lilith

Lilith and the Rise of the She Beasts:

The fantastical account of how the world’s most hated and misunderstood woman became demonized.

PRELUDE

Universe’s Inception—Somewhere in Space

A pact within the combustion of space particles promised a balance to all things within it.

As matter formed and took shape—some as asteroids, some as stars, and others as mysterious manifestations of the Universe itself—evidence that life existed within all things was unraveling.

A pulsing that only Source would determine.

One particle formed, so radiant and so perfect, that the Universe conjured up a mix of gas and energy to mingle and create an incredible cosmic force within its ether. This force would root itself opposite its beautiful counterpart creation and lay dormant. This dormancy would continue throughout four billion years before rousing to alter the minds and hearts of a life force inhabiting and poisoning its mirrored light image. It would lay in the shadow of the Universe and wait for a cue by the glorious planet across the sky. A cue that mankind needed its unwavering enlightenment and deconstruction to fully realize their host’s complete potential. A rebirth of

Gaia into the 5th dimension; a promise made by Source upon her inception.

The lovely Earth would summon its shadow magic and unleash upon the guilty and unsuspecting humans an occasion to rise to their calling or fall victim to its wrath. A major shift in Universal energy would blanket Earth if she so pleaded with the sky. To unlock such a mighty force, Gaia would cry out as one celestial entity to another to be saved by what is most ravishing the planet: Humans.

PART ONE: Transcendental Lilith

“There is no art in turning a goddess into a witch, a virgin into a whore, but the opposite operation, to give dignity to what has been scorned, to make the degraded desirable, that calls for art or for character.” -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

LILITH

11:11 a.m. March 9, 1597—Forest in North Berwick, Scotland

The purple, orange and pink clouds sent fiery streaks of color shooting through the sky, promising a striking sunrise behind Lilith as she knelt, rocking on her knees in the center of four strategically placed candles, dark and light blue, moss green and cherry red. Next to Lilith in the center of the circle was a tall and fat, flaming white candle.

A small black ceramic bowl of wheat rice sat, slightly steaming, on an oversized willow tree stump surrounded by tiny white Jasmin flowers lining the base of the bowl. A glass of maroon, red wine with Lilith's favorite incense, Dragon's Blood, lay smoking next to the set-up.

“Oh, Guardian of the Portal of Fire, I come to thee with humble offering as a token of alliance,” Lilith bowed in submission as she gently lifted the Dragon's Blood incense from the thick stump before reciting a spell to honor the four portals. “Since I have the fire of life pulsing through my body, I am you as you are me. Oh, sovereign Jinn, and mighty Fire Dragon, the guardian of all Fire dwellers; Fire Drakes and Salamanders, I hope you will graciously accept this tiny gift, filled with all of my blessings.”

Lilith slowly moved back into her place in the circle before setting the incense atop the damp bark on the ground. “May there be healing and blessings within your realm. I honor thee,

Oh Fire," she lowered herself down in the center of the circle once more, maintaining her downward glance.

Lilith had been honoring the four Portals two to three times per week for the past few years, ever since the nightmares began ... “Oh, Guardian of the Portal of Earth, I come to thee with humble offering as a token of alliance. Since I have flesh and bones to keep my body upright, as well as eat from Mother Gaia´s life grains, I am you as you are me” ... The nightmares were blood curling, sweat-inducing manifestations of pure evil, and being so rooted into nature and Earth's spirituality, Lilith found it vitally beneficial to ward him off with ritualistic acknowledgment whilst she continues her magic practice ... “From the depths of my being and the center of this gauntlet of ruby wine, I take this offering to the limits of the macrocosm to the

Portal of Water” ... What better way to initiate powerful protection than through symbolic giving to our creators? ... “Since I have the breath of life in my chest and intelligence weaving throughout my mind, without this vital air I may not live ... Elves and Sylphs ... may there be healing and blessings within your realm.”

Lilith sat quietly amid the flames and incense smoke thinking about the birds that soar overhead and the freedom they possess as they flap through the wondrous sky, her legs crossed with peace consuming and swarming around her. She envisioned the mapping and graphs that would appear as the trail of their wings beat the air particles as they glided past.

She thought of the dolphin that streams through majestic blue waters with ease as tranquility lay undertow, bonded into nature and her surroundings as they gracefully flowed through the waters and left magical bubbles in their wakes. Lilith pictured herself as the wild horse galloping through endless fields and meadows as mist and early-morning dew kissed her bare cheeks and nose, all gifts from Gaia and triggers to remind Lilith that she must stay her course. She jumped when she felt the thick, soft fur brush past her right arm and thigh.

“Oh my! Aradia, what in the world are you doing out here?” Lilith felt Aradia's full body thud into her right side as the cat let out a loud purr. She was warm and her coat a silky midnight black against Lilith's bronzed bare skin. She scooped up the small cat, “My goodness, dear, you do have impeccable timing!”

Today was not the day for a miracle, and Lilith felt it coming for her in every fiber of her body and soul. Whatever was coming had been creeping up so announced, that she could do nothing else but prepare for it. She knew it had to do with him, with those wretched dreams she'd been having.

She clung to the small loving cat and felt its breath against her chest. Aradia's warm body soothed Lilith. She knew the cat was tapped into a higher dimension, one of which humans had yet achieved, but would soon experience. Along with the dreams, crept in the sense of a human ascension so abrupt and so violent that it had to be their demise.

A small shudder of anxiety washed over Lilith. She sighed and stroked the top of Aradia's head, silently thanking her. Aradia turned her small face toward Lilith, and with piercing lime green eyes, sent a shocking meow into Lilith's ear so unnerving, that Lilith immediately threw the cat off her. She watched Aradia sprint through the white willow trees in the direction of their small cottage.

Lilith jumped to her feet and apprehensively looked around her. She didn't want to believe it was true, but somehow each candle's flame had died, along with the Dragon's Blood incense. The bowl of rice lay on the ground upside down, and the Jasmin blossoms, once in full bloom and brilliantly white, sat dried next to the empty glass of wine. With one fleeting thought in her mind, Lilith tore off in the direction of Aradia.

He’s here.

BLODEUWEDD

11:26 a.m. March 9, 1597—Lilith’s cottage, North Berwick, Scotland

Blodeuwedd wrapped politely against the kitchen window, barely held in by a thatch roof. There appeared to be nobody home. She patiently waited with her arms folded under a fur hand muff that rested against her tightly cinched corset. She sent out a small and exacerbated exhale as a loose blond curl flew out from the corner of her mouth. She wrapped lightly against the window once more, a little longer this time.

Dark green ivy intertwined with the front of Lilith's damp and mossy stone cabin exterior.

White willow trees hung dark and precarious in front of each corner of her cottage, and

Hornbeam trees lined its rim in no order. Ferns made their way up to the cream-colored front door. This little cottage looks like a place where a poor fairy tale character would live, thought

Blodeuwedd. She chuckled silently to herself.

A flash of black streaked past the cottage's left wall and suddenly disappeared into the distance around the corner. Blodeuwedd jumped and would have let out a feminine squeal if it hadn't been so quick. She heard rhythmic pounding in the distance behind her grow stronger. She spun around quickly, prepared for anything.

“Aradia!” screamed Lilith, in a frantic hurry. She stopped short once she saw

Blodeuwedd standing motionless in front of her kitchen window. “Oh, hello, Blode. You didn't happen to see my cat, Aradia, run past here, did you?”

A silent moment passed before the wide-eyed Blode responded with, “Aradia ... why yes of course. She just flew past here before you arrived. May I inquire as to what just happened?”

Resting her hands on the top of her thighs while gasping for breath, Lilith replied,

“Nature ritual ... possessed cat ... dead candles ...”

With complete disregard for Lilith’s explanation, Blode continued, “Oh my dear, Lilith!

It's Bel. I've caught him being adulterous, Lily!” Blode threw her arms wildly around Lilith, who was still bent over and composing herself against her thighs.

Lilith held tightly onto Blode, partly in condolence, and partly to prevent herself from falling off balance. “Oh, honey! I'm so sorry to hear that. But Blode, my dear, what do you truly expect of such a despicable creature?”

Blode pushed Lilith back out at arm's distance and stared silently and inquisitively into

Lilith's deep, dark eyes, which were filled with an unabashed peace and bliss. Her silence prompted Lilith to continue, “The time of the shadow patriarch is killing Earth, Gaia. He must heed to the rising feminine or he will surely parish and take Gaia with him.”

For a moment, Blode felt a twinge of envious sparks shoot through her veins at Lilith's knowledge, confidence and self-assurance, then she remembered her poor friend's fate and continued her story, disregarding Lilith’s statement about the shadow patriarch.

“It was with his work mistress, Maeve! I had known – or had thought – but never witnessed anything. I saw them amid a deep embrace, Lily!”

Lilith caught her collapsing friend in her arms. “Ok, dear. We need to get you into the house with a nice, hot cup of tea.”

* * * * *

Blode sipped her hot mint tea once more. “He kept telling me that he was working late redrafting the Convention of Royal Burghs with the rest of Parliament, but now I know what he was truly doing there!”

Lilith was rinsing lavender flower stems from her garden in the sink, her back facing

Blode's slumped body at her kitchen table. The little sprinkles of water were shooting up at her arms while she impatiently continued to listen to Blode's story, washing the lavender with growing vigor.

... “And through the window I saw them. Their silhouettes. I followed him to the Duke's castle, Lily.”

A small silence filled the room as the faucet turned off. Lilith shook the loose water from the stems over the sink, listening to her friend's loud, pathetic sips echo into her mug.

“I love him, Lily. We're supposed to be married in two months ...” Blode peered at Lilith's motionless body out of the corner of her eye. She was resting with straight arms on the counter now, motionless and looking out the window.

“That is it!” Lilith spun around to face Blode, her palms resting on the edge of her wooden counter as lavender stems dripped water onto the floor. “Have you been listening to yourself, Blode? You are pathetic. I thought I taught you much better than this, darling. That man is a pure manifestation of evil and what is flawed in all of the patriarchal system. Get a hold of yourself! Why do you gravel and insist that you need him in your life, Blode?”

“What are you talking about?” Blode prompted.

“Strength, honey.” Lilith set the flowers on the counter. “Women are the dominant sex, yet we constantly relent our powers and superior intellect to men because we are afraid that if we reveal our true selves, they will not love us any longer. Well guess what, most would not because they are too small, immature and incompetent to realize our full potentials. They constantly tell us that we need them to grow, yet we do not. We need ourselves, my dear. Ourselves.”

Blode blinked three times rapidly, so Lilith continued. “Miriam, Deborah, Huldah and

Noadiah from the Old Testament were proclaimed female prophets, and this comes from a book that did not boast women. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, fertility and beauty; Ursula Southeil was an English cave-dwelling prophetess and eschatological seer in our century...”

Lilith noticed that Blode had become completely entranced with twirling her corset string around her index finger, so she wrapped it up. “My point is, dear Blode, woven throughout history has been strong, intelligent and fantastical women changing the world. You don't need a good-for-nothing man around stopping you from ruling the world as well. They keep their power through oppression, but it takes just a few of us to stand up and change things, and I fully intend to be one of those rising females. So… are you with me, dear one?”

“Oh, Lilith! What do you speak of? What shall I to about my problem?” Blode slammed her elbows on top of the wooden table dramatically, her forehead resting on her open palms.

“Fine. I'll tell you what we will do, Blode. We are going to go right down to that man of yours and tell him that you are finished with him. Grab your bearings!” Before Blode could protest, she looked up from her perch to see the bottom of Lilith's faded and flowing orange samite dress ruffle slide past the doorway. Blode stood and glared after Lilith, hovering over the table a few seconds longer until she heard Lilith in the distance shriek, “Blode, come on! We have work to do!”

She flew out the door after Lilith.

HERstory

6:16 p.m. March 9, 1597—Royal Burgh Building, North Berwick, Scotland

As they crept toward the flicker of the dimly lit brick building, Lilith noticed her steps growing more and more like quicksand under her legs. By the time they were snugly tucked away from sight in a large green bush, merely a few feet away from the first window of the ominous under-lit building, Lilith felt a definite wall keeping her from moving any closer.

“What's wrong, dear Lilith?” Blode noticed Lilith's sudden halt.

“Oh, nothing, nothing. We can do it from here.” Lilith brushed her brazen and wild hair from her face with both hands before continuing, “Do you have the matches and kindling?”

“Yes, I do,” Blode kept her face down toward the objects in her hand, but peered up at her friend Lilith with budding remorse. She turned her glance toward the silhouetted figures bouncing around in the lemon hue of the candle while Lilith swept the matches and kindling from her open palms.

It was an unusually warm March evening, thickness and distress in the air. Above them, a bright, full moon loomed heavy in the sky. Blode followed Lilith's gaze toward the massive moon. She was already muttering something. And it begins ... thought Blode, letting all of her guilt wash over her like a cold shower.

“... spirit of She, Queen of all witches, teach us of things yet to be known ...” Lilith's arms were raised straight over her head now, cradling the moon, while she turned in slow, imperfect circles. Blode wondered if she had seen the two figures inside, or if she was just preparing for another wacky spell. “... she who rests unto the vitality of our green Gaia, the white moon Diana dwelling amongst the stars, deep-running Bormana and guardian of our mysterious waters, and all those mortal desires dropped into the hearts of man, I call upon thee. Come forth and rise ...”

Before Blode could protest, Lilith had struck a match, which in turn, produced a mighty flame that shot three feet into the sky. “No! There are people inside, Lilith!” Blode clasped her hands to her cheeks hoping to turn back time and rewind this horrible mistake. Lilith was supposed to confront Bel, not burn him.

It was too late, Lilith was gone; possessed and insane. Blode had set her friend up for disaster. I should have never agreed to father's scheme!

“... For She, nature’s life force and the giver of all sentient cosmic beings, the mother divine. All existence is in her reverence and in due time all must return to Her. Before Her grace, praised by gods and man, allow thee a reflection of Source show through infinite rapture ...” The tall flame grew stronger and brighter, trailing from the sky down to the bark they stood on, in one instance engulfing the entire front of the building. Lilith was gone, her eyes a large, vacant black space incapable of human emotion.

Blode stood paralyzed, watching all the duke's castle succumb to the lightning-quick flames that were swallowing it. Impossible! This building is made of brick and stone, how is this fire sustaining?!

“ ... And ye shall be free from slavery ...” continued Lilith, without the faintest clue that she recognized her arson “... For Hers, Nature, Source is the life blood and pure joy of the cosmic spirit, and Hers a representation of Gaia, Earth. Let Her love wash over all beings and cleanse man of his sins towards her!” Lilith stopped mid-circle to redirect her gaze toward Blode.

Muttering something in a language that Blode could not understand, Lilith slowly approached the flaming building behind Blode.

Blode wanted to run, wanted to jump high into the night sky and fly amongst the stars, but something would not let her feet take any steps. It was as if they had grown roots that were shooting straight down into the center of the earth. She managed to scoot a few inches toward the burning building, while hot flames kissed her back. Lilith was only a few feet in front of her, her head lowered and pupils so large that they appeared to have consumed her entire eyes. She reached out and grabbed Blode by the shoulders hard, jolting her while Blode gasped loudly.

“And those who seek Her out must heed to her own beautiful cosmic mystery and entangled infinite wisdom within the soul of Her,” Lilith was digging her fingernails into Blode's shoulders so tightly, that the pain went numb after a few seconds. “She is the original mother of all, a misidentification of man who fears her omnipresence and power. Let Her love shower upon

Gaia for she is Her and one in the same!”

Lilith let go of Blode as quickly as she had seized her. Blode blinked twice; was Lilith really appearing and disappearing in one spot and then another; a flash of mirage? My eyes are playing tricks on me! Blode convinced herself.

Blode heard men shouting in the distance and looked toward Lilith, who had flickered before reappearing in another location a few feet from where she was just chanting and spinning.

What?! This cannot be happening! Blode told herself, the frantic shouts of the men growing ever closer. She saw drops of candlelight dance on the walls in the distance. “Oh, my goodness! It's the police, Lilith! We must leave now!”

“For behold, She is the manifestation of all acts pure, pleasurable and charged in love.

They belong to her ...” Lilith vanished, then re-emerged next to Blode, “Upon earthly existence,

She breathes whispers of wisdom from Source eternal; and beyond the flesh, She brings peace and liberation from all that is material and moves the soul through existence into realms of energy.” Lilith smiled at Blode, a twinkle of pure madness shot through her black eyes. “She, our creator.”

Blode could not move. She had to make a vital choice quickly. She watched the bouncing light approach, until shadowed figures holding torches could be seen. She turned and looked at the building, which was completely engulfed in flames and swallowed by the massive fire that

Lilith had begun. She turned once more to look at Lilith, who was not there. She frantically scanned the lawn they were standing on. Nothing. The men drew closer.

Lilith stood right in front of Blode; “The grand secret of Her magic dwelling within man;

if thou ignorant enough to seek this outside of self, thou shall never find it as She has possessed in man the same magic and power that exists among the cosmic stars. For behold, She has hidden the gem deep within man for his own Source lies dormant, that of which parallels the existential

Source from the dawning of age. She has been with thee from the beginning as she will rest with thee at the end of life; known by man little, but holding within all acts of completion is the pleasure in returning to Source.”

“Lilith, listen to me! We must leave now! The Governor's men – my father's men are after you! You are a wanted felon, Lilith! They have had enough. You will for sure be burned!” Blode grasped Lilith the same way that she had been grabbed, squeezing tightly. “Lilith, I have made a huge mistake. We must get out of here!” She watched the men run toward the lawn they stood on with intense fury. For sure Lilith will be killed now!

Blode closed her eyes tightly as she watched the men’s' heavy steps sink into the moist grass. They were moving at such a speed that it did not look like they would stop any time soon.

“You had better have a good excuse this time, witch! We have caught you red-handed!

Miss Blode, help us –”

There was no one on the lawn. The rest of the men stormed onto the grass with as much vigor but stopped dead in their tracks when they saw only their fellow British soldiers standing alone, holding a torch at their sides and looking down into the grass at nothing.

“Well, where are they General?” The second man stood next to the first man, watching the General's stunned expression. Past him ran three men with buckets into the shrieking building. “They must have gone in there!” Pointed the second man to the first.

The General stood still, saying nothing. He was the only one who knew of the plan, and the only one who witnessed the two women vanish into thin air. Impossible!

THE NIGHTMARES

Perfect Time Vacuum—Location Undefined

The smell of iron coated in dried blood wafted past a low smog that sat nestled between two burned mountains. A reddish gas that had no earthly business existing in its current location.

Fire and smoke danced together in the thick air while shouts and men’s war cries swirled and mixed in the far distance. The bright orange sun slowly transformed into a dark, blood red circle in the sky as another mushroom cloud seeped over it. The sky was orange and non-reflecting in the murky brown swamp bed that was once a rushing river. The gases seeped through the dystopian air and mingled effortlessly with the smoke as it blanketed the dying sun in patches.

There was no movement in sight besides the clashing of swords within the puffs of gunpowder and gas, as a lone tumbleweed that brushed past Lilith's bare calf. She watched a shadow circle around her before following its image into the fiery, red skies above. A vulture was descending upon Lilith. She watched one of the mountains in the distance rattle and crumble into the earth, sending another mushroom cloud roaring into the sky. The fighting men did not notice, nor did the vulture, who was a few feet above Lilith's head.

“Be gone, varmint!” Lilith began to run toward a vacant desert opposite the feuding men, but was halted by a tall, black figure standing directly in front of her. “You! Go! Stop tormenting me!”

He hissed and shoved his right hand out in front of Lilith, knocking her backward. “You listen to me!” He demanded in such a thundering voice that it shook the very earth he stood upon. Lilith sat quietly and listened.

“Negative, manipulative collective thought in Man's future will alter their evolution, sway your thinking and become everything’s inevitable demise. The physics that you toy with and experiment magic upon, is now your chariot to their future, as you have already studied from the history of Man's past. You’ve conjured up the rising of the red gases here without even knowing it. You measure stars and see through years of light. You know about reflectors and image-sending, and you toil with science and magic better than scientists of our, or any, era.”

At the sight of Lilith opening her mouth to speak, he stuck his hand out in objection and continued to speak, “Your and Man's demise will occur in unison, although you have complete control, Man does not. He will end in flame by your hand, by Her hand.” Upon the man’s forecast completion, he clapped his mighty hands together and held them out before Lilith could object or question what was happening. Instantly, more of the mysterious red gases emanated from his palms and into the air. The lingering matter created hologram images of a mystical and fiery creature rising from the dying planet and soaring through the cosmos. One image reflected to Lilith a species of human who looked evolved and futuristic with grotesquely large foreheads.

“What is all of this?!” Lilith shrieked in part fear and part curiosity.

“This is the future of Man. This is also your future,” he replied. “This demise will also be your blessing. Lilith's death will fall upon the hands of those you are destined to save, like a martyr. You must maintain your senses and keep your wits about you through this journey. Your mission is to raise the vibration of Gaia from 3D to a 5D evolution. Man cannot do this, and he is destroying her. This is your destiny, Gaia warrior, subservient protector of Source and keeper of balance. Reclaim the knowledge that you have gained thus far, for it is far superior to any knowledge humans are capable of for years to come. What has set you apart your entire life will be the end of you. What you did not complete until now, you have a chance to finish this time.

You will not fail.”

Lilith stared at the man with a blank expression.

“Do you see this?!” The man raised his two hands in front of the destruction and chaos tearing apart the desert while he glanced over his right shoulder. Lilith followed his gaze toward the stabbing and shooting men in the distance. She watched as two great puffs of fire burst out of the man's hands, sending flames streaming into the sky, the clouds above swarming and mixing with the red gases. Thunder cracked and lightening rained down over the men through the thick gaseous element. “This is the pathetic future you must decide upon. Isn't it despicable; men killing men while the earth crumbles and dies around and below Him. It's disgusting, really, and you must find their judgment. Use that with which you already have, and what you will gain upon your journey down this path and into the light of 5D ascension. YOU are the future, Lilith.”

The man was gone in a puff of red gaseousness. Lilith stood, silently staring into the direction of the desert below her, ablaze. The smokey mountain that had crumbled in the distance melted into what looked like hot molten lava. It was seeping near the few men that struggled to stand in the valley. The murky swamp hallowed until it had collapsed on itself entirely, sucking in the earth around it. As the lava rolled closer, Lilith squinted to see that it was actually blood. A river of blood was moving right toward her.

The men screamed as the hot liquid and gaseous element washed over them, making its way up to where Lilith stood. She watched, unstirred as the thick liquid and space emission covered the entire land and began crawling over the edge of the massive hole in the center of the desert that was ever expanding. The gas emanating throughout the ether. It poured into the hole as the hole grew and caved in everything around it.

The blood and gas flowed up to Lilith's feet in time for her to lose her balance and fall into the black hole. She fell, staring straight up at the bloody, smokey earth crumble above her, shrieking as she disappeared into oblivion.

Lilith was jolted awake to sound of men shouting outside of her cottage.

GOVERNOR BODIN

8:23 a.m. March 10, 1597 -- North Berwick, Scotland

“Arianrhod ... oh please hear me now ... I plea to thee, Arianrhod ... the Wizard was to warn me of ... oh dear, Arianrhod, please don't fail me now ... Persephone, I do evoke ... oh,

Persephone see to it that I rest with you ... oh dear Persephone my fate is in your hands ...”

Lilith's feet left two parallel lines ripping through the wet soil and stirring up wet leaves as they dragged past. She heard the fierce shouts of men all around her, the agreements and praise by their women. “She has been a menace to our town ever since she was orphaned … This recent upsurge in witch trials is just giving her fuel ... I have actually seen her eat cats ... small children virtually vanish whilst strolling past her despicable cottage ... we should have done this years ago ... such a heinous being does not deserve to live.”

They are talking about me; Lilith barely had the energy to open her eyes. When she did, she saw that she was being ruthlessly dragged through a plush green portion of her home, of the moist and seaside North Berwick vegetation. Both of her arms were contorted and badly bruised.

They were held above her head by two large men dressed in black from head to toe. They smelled of linen and jute that underlay medals and armor. To her right, a very well-dressed woman in dark rich hues with a tall, pleated collar ruffle coolly strode alongside Lilith's writhing body. Instinctively, Lilith was trying to break free.

“Now you hear, young lady! This will be far less painful for everyone if you simply stop writhing about as you are!” Lilith's head dropped back and she watched the image of a husky man perched atop a horse bounce into her vision upside down. This perception made Lilith so dizzy, that she allowed her head to fall to the left side as stomach bile made its way up her throat and out her mouth. She spit it near a pair of shiny black boots that were keeping pace alongside her.

“You indecent little creature, look at what you've done to my shoe!” The Governor's voice thundered through Lilith's ears as she saw a large silhouette shadow over her face, then a piercing blow to her forehead.

* * * * *

The massive hand of the executioner's thick and tight grip jolted Lilith awake. “Finally got her up, your honor. Now you listen to Governor Bodin.” The masked executioner redirected his instructions at Lilith.

Lilith's head was too heavy for her to lift in order to see Governor Bodin straight ahead.

Instead, it flopped forward and rolled uncontrollably from right to left, fiery deep dark locks fell from all around her shoulders and covered her torn dress.

“Fix that wretched girl's vision toward me, Brycet! I'm sure she'll want to hear this before she's perished.” The tone of Governor Bodin was indifferent and stern, as if he owned a dog and was reprimanding it.

“What did I just say to you, witch?!” The executioner palmed Lilith's limp head and the loose, fiery hair that fell all around her. “Now you listen to the Governor!” His thick fingers pointed Lilith's gaze in the direction of the Governor, who stood with his arms crossed directly in front of the wooden stake.

“You should feel honored to be burned in North Berwick, instead of enduring the mutiny of what's going on right now amid the diocese of Trier in Germany! A loud and abrupt applaud burst from the audience and filled Lilith’s ears, ringing throughout her head.

“Schönenburg has the Protestants, Jews and witches all running for the hills. Did you know,” Governor Bodin began talking to Lilith, then turned his explanation toward the growing crowd of spectators that came to watch as Lilith's mortal body turned to ash. “I've heard that there is one woman inhabitant among two of the villages over there in good 'ol Trier. It's a bloodbath!” More applaud rang out from the audience.

“So far, the deaths of these wretched witches have reached over a quarter thousand, and counting...” The Governor allowed a moment's pause to acknowledge the continuous roar of collaborated celebration by the townspeople ... “there is no mercy toward those individuals who act out in anarchic tyranny ... anyone who tries to defy the God-given lay of the land shall perish!”

More shouts and praise filled the air and Lilith even thought she heard an “I love you,

Governor!”

The more that Governor Bodin spoke and excited the masses, the more they hooted and hollered. “Nobody shall stand in the way of God's will” ... the growing spectacle gathered hundreds of enthusiastic townspeople ... “neither man, woman, child nor those born within the privileges of royalty, nobility or governmental protection shall defeat the wrath of the Lord nor his honorable King James VI” ... “and with extermination of this evil and individualistic upheaval in free thought and free will, the people of the world will finally understand that they will be beaten down in submission to His Almighty in the name of obedience in all that is sacred and right!” The crowd roared as the governor gave the signal to the executioner, who was standing and applauding with mighty vigor.

Bryce bent to the edge of the stake where his ax rested alongside a large, lit torch. Lilith's blurry vision finally fixed on a small, black figure a few feet behind the shouting and ranting

Governor Bodin. Aradia, what is happening to me?

You are about to die. The cat stared deep into Lilith's dilating pupils, penetrating them with its piercing green glow. She did not flinch. You are not needed here any longer, you are needed with them now in the ether. Discard your mortal body and return to Source. You have much to learn and much to do. Go.

Aradia! If you know this is injustice, why do you not stop them?! Lilith felt the tickle of hot fire kiss at her calves as the muffled excitement of a distant mob faded into the background and the cackle of fire filled her ears. Aradia! The cat continued to stare at Lilith, immobile and in sync, as a fleeting familiarity rushed over Lilith. This is the cat of Lucifer. Her mother is the

Queen of the Witches, Roman Goddess Diana. And if this is true, why not help me now as I’ve honored and laid praise to your ruler, Diana, if not all of the goddesses?

You are to call upon her when you need protection ... Lilith recalled handing Blode a

Pentacle folded up in paper once ... she sometimes takes the form of a cat ... meanwhile, Aradia stood silently behind Lilith and Blode, watching and waiting ... she represents passion, fear and security ... this was months ago, when Blode came to Lilith seeking guidance and order in her little world full of chaotic fun by her dictatorial father and Governor; Bodin.

A set up! This was a set up! The heat began to crawl up Lilith's thighs and smooth over her waist now. She wanted to scream but could not even manage to open her mouth. The lack of reaction from Lilith prompted the Governor and his followers into further prodding. “You see?!”

He pointed out dramatically, “the witch does not even flinch at the devil's flame! Let her perish and be damned where she belongs!”

You do not have time for this! You must hurry. The small figure of the cat's body sat, still and upright, in front of a triple circle blazing in purple light. The Triple Circle surrounded Lilith and the entire stake that she was burning upon. It was enormous. She recognized it immediately as the symbol used to call upon the Mother, Maiden and Crone; the Triple Goddess. Because the

Governor kept on with his ranting without batting an eye, Lilith realized that she was the only person seeing the glowing trifecta.

I am to bring you safely en route to Him. Are you ready? Aradia still sat, perched within the top-most circle. Although a million thoughts and questions swirled around Lilith's weary mind, she could not conjure up the strength nor energy to recite them to Aradia, so she meekly answered, “Yes.” The heat and sweltering pain grew increasingly unbearable. She wanted to sleep.

The cat glared at Lilith's dying human body on the stake. Lilith was no longer conscious, her head rolled to one side as the flames engulfed the image.

Thrice around the circle's bound, evil sink into the ground …

MYRDDIN WYLLT

Perfect Time Vacuum—Location Undefined

Myrddin Wyllt cast down a fist full of fire with brazen rein and disregard toward Lilith as she crouched below him, hands over face.

“Why do you haunt me so?!” Lilith's demand was fierce. She stopped protecting herself from Wyllt's furry. “I know who you are!”

“And you hold no remorse at telling me so every time I pay visit,” Wyllt hissed as he descended in the air toward Lilith as she crouched on the ground.

The two occupied black space. It was the same setting with the same instances in all of her nightmares. There was nothing; barely air consumed the disambiguation, and the subtle reflection left upon the silhouette of Wyllt from the neon flames is all that Lilith could see. The same nightmare for three years.

“This time you are ready. You will be called upon in the most influential and crucial time of human existence,” Wyllt cast a stone-cold expression toward Lilith while he gripped tightly in his left fist was another fire rod. She watched his strong jawline remain silent.

“Whatever are you talking about?!”

“You are on a cyclical revolving evolution,” Wyllt calmly replied. “You have incarnated now to do exactly what it is you will accomplish. You have surmounted all that you are in time and space to be here now. You need to remain present and keep your head about you for She is calling you home. Man’s time for renewal is now, and you will usher it in.

“You will be guided along this tremendous endeavor. Less of a task it is you need to complete; it is a wealth of knowledge you need to possess. This is your calling.” Lilith did not respond, so Wyllt continued, “You will inevitably decide the fate of this wicked race. You will leave this life, and you will leave it quickly.

“You need to remain malleable and open to everything, yet do not deter from your destiny and fall to a growing empathy toward man. He has no empathy toward you. He burned you at the stake.” Lilith maintained flashes of images with her sizzling and slumped mortal body strapped to the wooden stake as flames danced around her and the spectators erupted in thunderous cheers.

“It is necessary to move you far into the future so you can see what type of destruction

He has bestowed upon Gaia and upon himself. It will be illustrated with a masked beast who is detrimental to the human race in a beautiful and cataclysmic transformation. Earth and the balance of the cosmos will finally see Her renewal, and you will be it. The truth will be revealed.”

“I am no martyr!” Lilith shouted, still in a vulnerable position below Wyllt.

Ignoring her, Wyllt continued, “Your time is now. It is almost here.” The same mysterious red gaseous that appeared upon location in their visits prior, started to emanate from behind

Wyllt. He seemed unphased by the phenomenon. “The one last thing that you must know before your change of integrity, is that you must operate out of pragmatic intelligence and not of emotional response to anything. You are here to heed the higher purpose and bring Gaia into the fifth dimension. There will be many objections among man, but you will take only the worthy with you if they shall show themselves as such,” Wyllt raised his left fist one last time, and with mighty force, heaved the popping and crackling beam of fire down upon Lilith so magnificently, that she let out a blood curdling scream that cracked the entire blackness and sent roaring thunder throughout its seams. The red gases engulfed all of what was left of the ether between Lilith and

Wyllt, and in a flash he was gone, and Lilith's existence was being sucked from her like a vacuum.

CHAPTER ONE:

RAINBOWS

“Nibiru, which is said to have occupied the passageways of heaven and earth, because everyone above and below asks Nibiru if they cannot find the passage. Nibiru is Marduk's star which the gods in heaven caused to be visible. Nibiru stands as a post at the turning point. The others say of

Nibiru the post: 'The one who crosses the middle of the sea (Tiamat) without calm, may his name be Nibiru, for he takes up the center of it.' The path of the stars of the sky should be kept unchanged.” – Ancient Sumerian cuneiform tablet.

“The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.” --

Revelation 8:7, King James Version, Bible.

RAINBOWS

The year 2121—Oraibi, Arizona, United States

Hot pink and neon orange clouds set aburst the blue dawn against the starry horizon.

They streamed through the sky ablaze in furious heat. To the naked eye they looked like faint aurora borealis, although they did not make a sound. A red gaseous substance that seemed vaguely familiar to Lilith seeped throughout the atmosphere and lay distant behind the phenomenon in the skies.

It was the very early and dewy dawn on what would become a hot August day in Oraibi,

Arizona, a day when Lilith found herself emerging from a bed of pins and needles that were seeping up from the blood red Obsidian-like rock underneath her.

She was entirely incapable of moving. She rapidly blinked her large, black eyes while allowing the motion of the sky and clouds that engulfed her to swirl around in a mélange of color throughout her vision. An eerie and looming red hue set the tableau above Lilith and gave her a sense of remembering as it hovered above. In front of this, the sky took on vibrant pinks and oranges while physical sensation finally began to make its way through her fingertips atop the loose rock. She wiggled her big toes.

Once the vision spirals slowed to a halt for Lilith to process the rainbow of color above her, she blinked feverishly more times than the first.

There's no possible way that I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing! She told herself, still numbly lying on her back on the solid rock.

Lilith rubbed her eyes with tight little fists, trying to rewind and make sense of her entire existence. She had a piercing headache and could not remember much of the recent past. She knew there had been some sort of cataclysmic event that involved her, but it didn’t seem relevant at the moment. She looked straight up into the sky once more, watching the streaks of lustrous colors flash past her. That was relevant. It was mesmerizing and beautiful yet tore at her retinas.

Seeing burning spots all over her vision, Lilith inscribed that spectacular aerial image in her mind before stumbling to her feet and clamoring for something stable to hold on to. The rock below her bare feet was coarse and spore. It was rough and crumbled beneath her. She stood still for a moment to gain her composure and analyze the material under her feet. It felt unique;

nothing like she had ever experienced. This rock is from the cosmos.

A twinge of excitement and anxiety rushed through her veins. Because she knew very little about the materials that traveled to Earth from outer space, Lilith decided to slide off the rock as soon as possible.

As her sight slowly began to return, she noticed an edge of the rock that sat straight in front of the gloriously lit horizon. She tried not to stare directly at the fierce colors again but watched out of her peripherals as the hues glowed, fading throughout pinks, reds, oranges and magentas. There were physical particles that were intermingling with the colors. Lilith tried to sit with an odd familiarity that crept in as the gases above her twirled in the sky, but the sensation was overwhelming and left her with many questions that danced around her head, mirroring the glittering display in the sky against the violet sunrise.

She had to tear her eyes away to keep from stepping straight off the edge of the rock.

Have I been walking this entire time? She didn’t remember taking one step.

Lilith leaned to her right as she slid alongside that same edge. The large meteorite cradled her body as if she were sliding down a perfectly orchestrated waterfall. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was trying to lead her somewhere.

The rough rock gave way to a sleek, almost paved route. Rather than jaggedly sliding down the side of the meteorite, she was riding the rock downward toward her destiny.

She didn’t halt to a stop at the bottom of the spiraled slide, but she began slowing down upon the dusty desert underfoot. Where am I? Lilith leapt from the base of the meteorite and landed next to a cave. She immediately noticed images drawn on the mystery rock next to her.

Lilith stood, staring straight at the drawings. They were intricate and specific, consisting mostly of strategically placed circles over lines and symbols she’d never seen. As she grazed her fingertips lightly across them, she heard faint whispers emanate from the drawings as if they were trying to narrate themselves.

“The Great Spirit points toward our two paths, unsure which we will take; the top route of technology and no spirituality, or the bottom route of enlightenment.”

The whispers grew louder, and as they did, less consistent with each other. They were all different pitches and languages, some soft spoken, and others aggressive in a hissing fashion.

She could pinpoint the urgency in each of their voices; only pick out random important words from various sentences, no matter what the tone.

“First … vertical … line … prophecy … start … second … decide … material … spiritual … two … circles … bottom … two … big … wars … three … line … now … material

… path … followed … lead … jagged … destruction … spiritual … path … followed … peace

… harmony…”

Lilith listened to their frantic pleas and warns, frustrated at not fully understanding because it all seemed so familiar somehow. She choked down this urgency and maintained focus on the trail that her fingers left across the markings. They were gently illuminated in revolving hues of electric purple and blues, greens. They transformed into faint sparks as she crossed the inscription with her fingers.

The whispers grew louder and more frantic as amplified colors flashed through the trails that Lilith’s fingertips left behind. She was so mesmerized by the colors, that she didn’t immediately notice the shadow that began to creep up behind her, crawling its way onto the rock and up toward the hieroglyphics.

“Circle … shield … four … world … Hopi … dying … now …”

“Do you understand what they’re telling you?” Lilith spun away from the rock where she met the eyes of a large, dark man adorning a large, white feather. She jumped back a bit, startled.

“They’re telling you that the fourth world is ending, and the fifth world is beginning. It appears you have a mission to do with this, no?”

“I, I don’t know. I know something, but I can’t remember it entirely right now,” Lilith kept her eyes locked on the stern glare of the mysterious man. “Who are you?”

“I have but many names. I am best known as White Feather, the Hopi elder from the ancient Bear Clan.” White Feather continued when he noticed Lilith staring at him without blinking, “I have spent my entire life traveling and learning to share wisdom and the way to the sacred path. From all the experiences that I have gathered, I can hear the past and see the future.”

“What am I forgetting right now that I need to know?” Asked Lilith.

“It will come to you when needed,” he replied.

“How did I get here?” She pressed.

“You transversed the third and fourth dimensions – the worlds in which my ancestors spoke of – through quantum travel to get here now and learn what needs to be done in order to move Gaia into the fifth dimension, or world, with the rest of her fellow celestial bodies,” White

Feather admitted candidly while remaining remarkably calm for the information he just delivered.

Lilith sighed at his response. Perhaps this was the piece of the puzzle that she was grappling to remember; an ancient wisdom buried deep inside her but forgotten my modern society. As if picking up on this, White Feather continued, “You will need this information to return to a mortal state and bring forward to other humans. You will forget and then remember once more before completing your mission and taking your place among the stars.”

Thoroughly confused and growing ever frustrated at her lack of knowledge about something that seemed so innately intuitive, Lilith sighed, then asked, “What is this mission that you and Wyllt speak of?” She didn’t expect a direct answer from White Feather as he stood silent, a white feather sticking out from the side of his braid in the stagnant, hot air.

“We need you to save the world,” Lilith heard a second voice before she saw the person.

Emerging out of air particles while walking towards her, strode a stern and serene old man adorned in native jewelry and feathers. His face was cold as stone, but his eyes were kind and relaxed. Deep wrinkles promised of deep wisdom.

“And who might you be?” Lilith asked of the second man.

“I am a medicine man from the Sioux tribe. My name is Black Elk.” Black Elk continued,

“We are here to remind you of the truth, and then guide you on your way. What you will see after you leave us will not be a surprise because of what you already know deep within, and what you will continue to see and learn.”

“And then what? How am I supposed to save a world that does not want to be saved?”

Lilith exchanged glances between White Feather and Black Elk now. “Hmmm? Can either of you answer that for me? And why do these wretched people deserve to live when they just insist on killing each other and our planet anyway? They killed me..."

“We cannot answer that,” said White Feather. “That is a question you will have to ask of yourself once you reach the place of reckoning. For now, you must leave here with the inkling of remembering.”

“Ok, I’m ready to remember,” Lilith closed her eyes while she inhaled deep, the hot air slightly burning her lungs. She let out a seep out slow breath through her nostrils.

“I was 4 years old when I began hearing the voices. Nine years old when I had the great vision,” began Black Elk. “I saw the grandfathers and their grandfathers. They pointed out to me all the four corners and the 12 animals waiting with their riders in each corner. The horses and basin led me to the light, where I was given a wooden cup to make the green earth live, a bow to destroy evil, a peace pipe to aid the sick, a red cane to make the earth blossom, a spirit that the grandfathers would refer to as Eagle Wing Stretches, and courage to face the coming times.

“I was tested and tested, told by the wisest of the grandfathers that my nation on earth will have great troubles. As the earth grew sick behind me, engulfed in a red gas not of this planet, I remember seeing the morning star rising above the destruction, still beautiful and still bright.” Lilith’s eyelids flew open as Black Elk paused a moment. ‘This is all sounding familiar to you now, no?”

“Terrifyingly so, but I still can’t put my finger on it,” Lilith paused a moment in reflection. “Please continue.,” she prompted slowly.

“I then saved the village and led its people to better lands. That was the moment I knew the daybreak star would lay salvage all who shall see it and accept its wisdom; those who did not see it shall parish in the dark, forever damned in the purgatory between the third and fifth worlds, stuck in the fourth dimension.”

Lilith gasped. “I’m starting to remember why I came: A renewal of Gaia and some sort of cosmic contract…”

“That’s correct. You, like us,” he motioned between himself and White Feather, “are the guardians of the fifth dimension. Only those souls worthy enough ascend here on earth with her majesty, Gaia.”

Lilith stared, wide-eyed at Black Elk. After a moment of silence, he continued. “The grandfathers told me that it would be much more difficult to lead all these people this way in the future, and I saw the third ascent dying. In the future, I watched the fourth turn to black. You are quite familiar with this time in humanity. It is terrible and growing worse.” Black Elk paused, looking down onto the tops of his hands as if they were framing the very images he spoke of.

“We were also warned of this time,” White Feather picked up where Black Elk, who had gone into a catatonic trance, left off. “The Hopi people, saw it similar with warnings and a timeline.

“The First Sign we were warned of by our elders was the coming of the white-skinned men who would strike their enemies with wild thunder. The Second Sign was that our lands became full of spinning wheels and the voices that they carried. The Third Sign was the strange beast with large horns that roamed our lands in abundance” …

What strange beast does White Feather refer to? Cattle?

… “If you think that the Third Sign is magnificent, listen to what the rest of the signs brought,” White Feather responded telepathically, intuiting Lilith’s thought. He stared at her straight in the eyes and she said nothing, so he continued. “The Fourth Sign lent our lands to a weave of iron snakes that clanked loudly as they slithered past, while the Fifth Sign was of giant spider webs that filled the skies over our heads. The Sixth Sign produced rivers of stone strewn all about the land, and the Seventh Sign turned the sea to black, killing and destroying many of its living beings.”

Another vague familiarity washed over Lilith. She sat with it this time, growing more accustomed to accepting the discomfort. She allowed her mind to wander to the Seven Seals of the Apocalypse from the Bible. There was much similarity to the way that human societies have predicted their own fates, deaths and renewals, and yet not much agreement on the matter.

“There’s more,” White Feather continued, noticing Lilith search Black Elk’s expressionless face for more clarity. “The Eighth Sign invited young imposters with long hair like my people into the tribal nations to learn their ways and wisdom. Now has come the Ninth and final sign.” White Feather gestured to the falling streaks of neon pink, purple and orange, entangled with the red gasses while leaving trails as they plummeted toward Earth.

“The Ninth Sign talks of the dwelling place in the heavens falling to earth with great crashes. We were told that it will appear to us as an enormous blue star, and above us I see some blue,” White Feather stared straight up into the sky, eyes set upon the burning lines that were tearing through the atmosphere, streaking and burning lines through the red space gas.

“These are the signs that great destruction is among us,” Black Elk quickly interjected from his trance. “We. Are. Here. Now.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do about it?! This is man’s fate that, clearly, the cosmos has in store for Him.” Lilith felt a large lump move from her stomach to her throat, as she watched a streak of fire fly across the sky. Flashes of Bryce, the Governor's servant, yielding the torch that lit the flames of the stake she burned upon centuries ago, flickered through her mind and left a burning sensation in the pit of her stomach. “He deserves this, but I understand Gaia does not,”

she said under her breath.

“They will rock and shake to and fro,” White Feather continued. “The white man will battle against other people from other lands as well as themselves to regain control and structure.

They will be desperately trying to seek others who possess the first light, the sign of innate wisdom, but they do not know where or how to look for it. They do not understand that it dwells deep within them if they just stop and listen to the whispers, and so they continue to desperately search outside of themselves.”

That vague familiarity crept back up in Lilith as she leaned in for the men to continue with their explanation.

“Much smoke will rise above dancing fire throughout the lands. Great disease and dying will start to spread like these fires throughout the rest of the earth,” Black Elk motioned to the horizon. “Those who stop looking to the skies and killing each other will find refuge in nature and compassion. They will survive, but they are not prepared for what will be next.”

“What’s next?” Prompted Lilith.

“This is the time of Pahana,” said White Feather. “Pahana will return and bring with Him the dawn of the Fifth World, the fifth dimension; enlightenment or rebirth.”

“Rebirth? But that is not the same as enlightenment, is it?” Lilith glanced at the falling skies once more out of the corner of her eye. The colors were growing brighter and fiercer as the sky filled with red.

“It depends on which perspective one takes,” replied Black Elk. “This phenomenon will bring about a total rebirth, the renewal of our planet Earth. So, I suppose you can say an enlightenment for the Gaia warriors and a rebirth of Earth herself. They must ascend to the fifth world, the fifth dimension. They have no choice.”

The lump in Lilith’s throat began making its way up until Lilith was forced to turn from the two men and purge it with a great heave, vomiting all of the excess that she carried of lifetimes before. She knew what the men were talking about was true, but still couldn’t figure out her place in the whole story.

“You mush purge yourself of all the unnecessary and remain totally clear to carry out your mission,” chimed White Feather. “We’ve been through the same process ourselves.”

“What is my mission?!” Lilith demanded as the fire from the falling skies grew louder in thunderous booms in the background.

“That will come to you soon enough. We are not here to guild you in that way, instead, to inform you of why,” replied White Feather.

“We call the period leading up to your calling, ‘The 25 Period Purification,’” Black Elk continued. “This will be the realization of the above signs, until the earth is entirely depleted.

“Depleted?!” Lilith asked, shocked at the choice of words.

“When I was a boy, my people began to starve and die. They were given a gift of replenish, a gift of the spirit. They were supposed to cherish this gift as a second chance,”

suddenly clarity set in as Lilith realized what Black Elk’s trance had been about earlier; man will never learn, they will never see the lessons and grow from their own selfish stupidity. “But the thing was that I began to realize nothing could help my nation, so the grandfathers told me to run from them.

“At the same time a singing horse and beautiful virgins appeared while a flaming rainbow covered the land. A happy rain fell upon the people as I watched the entire universe achieve peace for only one day,” Black Elk paused, allowing the red, pink and orange streams of the sun solars and spacious gases mingle and glow over his entire body and shower him with warmth.

Lilith’s body temperature began to rise.

“Two men came running in from the east, their heads like arrows piercing the air.

Between them rose the Daybreak Star. Then, they handed me the Daybreak Star Herb and said,

‘With this on earth you shall undertake anything and do it.’” Keeping his eyes closed and facing the sky, Black Elk continued, “The Daybreak Herb is the herb of understanding. I was to drop it to the earth and watch it fall slow and far until it struck the soil and rooted four blossoms upon one stem; a blue, white, scarlet and yellow series of flowers that streamed rays of light high into the heavens for all creatures to see. There was no more darkness on earth then.

“I went to see my grandfathers once more. They told me that the face of the earth was appearing with the Daybreak Star upon its forehead. Then, the sun leaped up and looked at me, telling me to go forth on my journey alone,” Black Elk broke his fixed position to look Lilith directly in the eye. She was still frozen. Sensing her intensity, Black Elk continued, “I saw

Mother Nature then, and she sang to me. Her voice was beautiful and radiated peace throughout my body and the air, but when she was finished, I felt very sad and alone. It wasn’t until I understood what she was singing about that I realized the depth of this sadness.

“She told me that she’s given everything she has to earth and man, and she doesn’t have anything left to give. She was also very sad,” Black Elk paused, “this is when the Medicine Man woke me from my fever as I was lying in bed.”

Lilith was still paralyzed in fear that moving would rattle this new and enlightened information loose from her grasp. She felt an overwhelming sense of abandon wash over her. The sun solars streamed brighter and more furious in the background as the sun’s heat and outer space’s gases tore through the air.

“It saved my people, Lilith,” Black Elk said. “Maybe it will save yours.”

Although there were millions of thoughts and questions that swirled around in Lilith’s head right then, she stood, unable to speak or move, absorbing Black Elk’s story set against the tableau of the dying earth and space gases coming to her rescue.

“We need to take you to my ancestors now,” White Feather set a gentle hand on Lilith’s shoulder, guiding her away from the tremendous sun solars now soaring through the sky and growing ever stronger with the aid of the red gaseous material. They all streamed and screamed in the direction of the fallen meteorite.

They walked until they were inches away from the rock, its rigid edges within inches of their noses. Lilith was not sure if they were going to keep walking straight into the meteorite, or if they were planning to stop.

CHICHEN ITZA

The year 2121—Chichen Itza, Yucatan, Mexico

“My early ancestors populated this area as part of the Mayan people until we left and formed our own clan known as Hopi,” White Feather was still ushering Lilith forward, although the rock had vanished and the vast, complicated limestone of Mesoamerican architecture appeared in front of Lilith. This amazing and wondrous spectacle of intricate steps alongside angular pyramids, tiny, detailed slants and gray matter that was still somehow luminous under the radiant glow of the fierce but dying sun, populated the whole of Lilith’s vision. It sat against the tableau of oozing red space gases that circled and engulfed the pyramid, turning the sun into a burning red dot in the sky.

Her whole body jolted to a stop, causing White Feather’s guidance to become a shove.

“Where did the rock disappear to?!” She demanded.

“We do not need the meteorite any longer,” White Feather extended patience to Lilith.

“We do not maintain things we do not need.”

“I don’t think you understand what I am asking!” Lilith shrieked, “How did we end up here so quickly and the rock disappear so fast?”

“We need to give you a message in urgency, Lilith. We don’t have the time for silly questions,” White Feather stared directly into Lilith’s eyes while a sense of calm washed over her. All questions will be answered, Lilith heard without seeing White Feather’s lips move. She listened.

“To save time: Man left his Creator in search of more, then came back with a cross. We are destroying ourselves and our planet, and now She cannot protect us. We are beginning the

’25 Period Purification,’ which some will call the introduction of the Antichrist, or man himself.

This is the mid-section between the two catalysts who usher in the fifth dimension for Gaia: you and the gas emissions from the monsternova. All meticulously designed by the Universe herself,”

Lilith finally began to grasp the urgency in White Feather’s voice. “You are here to understand this moment in human history and carry out its consequence in congruence with the growing forces of the Universe, but first you need to understand what is about to happen in order to carry out your tasks.

“We are having super storms because of the polar shifts that my ancestors forecasted,”

continued White Feather. “Although my ancestors’ predictions are generally correct with the assumption that a galactic alignment will create a massive solar radiation that destabilized the interior of Earth and over time, disturb the path of the sun.

“This event shifts the sun’s location into the center of our galaxy, conjuring galactic supermassive black holes and disturbing our solar system’s natural flow,” White Feather glanced quickly behind him as if predicting a sudden interruption. “Some see this as our demise and others as a renewed human consciousness, evolution and fifth dimensional advancement …”

Before White Feather could continue explaining what was going to happen, a large gust of hot wind tore through the air and pierced them both hard against the back. They flew forward and landed with a loud thud on top of the ancient stone.

“It’s already progressing rapidly,” yelled White Feather over the roar accelerating powerful and hot winds. Lilith watched blocks of limestone get tossed hundreds of yards as if they were as light as paper, and then shatter into thousands of tiny pieces against the hard earth.

Her skin was burning and itching as the wind grew ever stronger.

“I need you to understand this fast,” White Feather was crawling toward Lilith, dragging behind him a large stone slab. “My people called this the Great Purification by fire. They are beginning the end, Lilith.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘they’?” Lilith looked up from the stone slab but White Feather was gone. Panic washed over Lilith’s face. Where did he go?! He can’t just leave me like this!

“People, Lilith. People are beginning the end,” Black Elk walked with ease toward Lilith in the middle of the hot hurricane of destruction and chaos. Lilith was gripping desperately at passing gravel and flying limestone blocks. Black Elk continued to walk calmly toward Lilith.

She noticed a large riptide of hot air combust directly behind him, creating two large wings of fire. “There is no hope for them, Lilith.”

One of the hot gusts caught Lilith’s long fiery locks and swept them up in swirls of air, smoke and ash. Somehow, she had made her way to standing and found herself directly in front of Black Elk. The heat all around them was growing increasingly unbearable, until Lilith’s cheeks burned with the passing fiery wind. Despite the tornado of fire that surrounded her and

Black Elk, they were both standing in the middle of the hot winds, the eye of the storm, perfectly balanced.

“The Mayans called it the End Days, or the end of time as humans know it. The Aztec called it the Time of the Sixth Sun,” Black Elk explained with a placid undertone. “There are many different beliefs and theories about what this is; they are all right. This is a time of transformation, the birthing of a new era. The creation of a new form of human race has the potential to succeed, if only they wake up, rise and evolve. And although the Mayan calendar is wrong in their time calculations for when this would occur, they are correct in predicting a large phenomenon in space. They saw it as a black hole in the center of the Milky Way, it really took place as the largest supernova in existence; a monsternova of combusting stars that is unfolding a series of events leading to a whole shift in humankind. This will be an entire shift in human consciousness to a higher ascension if they survive it.”

When Lilith didn’t respond, Black Elk continued. “Nibiru, the Sumerian planet and the

Daybreak Star or Venus, will re-enter earth’s orbit. Those markings that you read on the meteorite were explaining this phenomenon, heeding the warning although modern humans didn’t listen. Instead, they kept fighting astrology as well as themselves, when they should have come together as a collective human society.

“The Sumerians predicted that the coming of Nibiru will result in Earth’s axis recessed from a right tilt forward and then 180 degrees to the left. This event will occur between 10 and

20 earth hours and will cause a large gravitational jolt to take place, officially beginning Earth’s ascension into the 5th dimension.

“Man will grow confused and desperate to stop this phenomenon, although there is nothing they can do. Even though this event will not happen as abrupt as our ancestors had predicted, this shift will set off a chain of world-wide events that catalyzed how we got here, to this place now. They continue to seek answers in religious sanctions, both organized and alternative, and that does not work to save them, so they begin to turn on each other and fight in a last and desperate attempt to keep control among the chaos,” Black Elk kept his voice even and unwavering. “This all comes about in the new planetary phase, known as Ophiuchus. This cosmic shift represents the first piece in humanity’s spiritual and intellectual transformation, even if this shift is the destruction of all things on this planet. That’s where you come in, Lilith.

You’re the Daybreak Star, the initiator of transformation.”

The fire that shot out of the sky burned hotter and brighter with every stream. It sent chaos down in shards as the few scattered people still around scurried under stone and dirt for shelter. There was no hiding from the fury that came roaring down upon the ruins. Everything was raw and everything exposed. A sense of reckoning and remembering washed over Lilith.

This is it. Now’s the time. This is what I’m here for.

“You will need to leave this place soon, of course. And although it may not seem so, there will be survivors of all this destruction throughout the planet,” Black Elk raised both of his arms away from his body and was gesturing to the almost total destruction of the Mayan ruins, as the events slowed down to a speed that was half of the reality that it had been. “The people who are left will be angry and lost. They will fight and disagree on how to move forward. There will be man-made destruction and pain inflicted upon this world. Man seems to deny it, but this is how

Atlantis fell as well.”

Lilith began to sway in the middle of spiraling Mayan stones and the debris that was surrounding them as they raised high into the sky. Vague familiarity started to rise within her as the fear and panic subsided. She was born for this; her calling. A protector of Gaia, the silent warrior to usher in a higher dimension of consciousness. Heat pressed hard into her body, caving in from all around her physical form. “I will not be responsible for the progression or destruction of mankind, because I do not know that these people deserve to be saved or killed.”

“That is not your decision nor responsibility, Lilith. You are here as sole protector of Gaia and to see her rise into the 5th dimension. The human race is of no importance to you in seeing her through this process,” Black Elk’s somber gaze pierced straight into Lilith and made her feel like a young girl being reprimanded. “You are here to oversee Mother Nature’s request to the cosmos, her cry for help, and carry it out. What this means to future humans is the end of a wicked Fourth World, the 3rd dimension, in flames and the birth of the Fifth World. It is their choice to survive this and live a more enlightened life or parish within the flames … the longstanding battle between good and evil. That is it. You are the messenger, the bringer of the

5th dimension.”

Black Elk began to chant from his native tongue. “Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice … You lived first, and you are older than all need, older than all prayer … All things belong to you -- the two-legged, the four-legged, the wings of the air, and all green things that live … You have set the powers of the four quarters of the earth to cross each other … You have made me cross the good road and road of difficulties, and where they cross, the place is holy ...”

He closed his eyes tight; creating a veil of darkness that slid over the ever-churning backdrop of hot obliteration that consumed what had been Chitchinitza. With a sizzling hiss the ember ashes that were blazing bright just moments ago began to fizzle back down toward the earth. Black Elk continued his low, deep chanting; eyes pressed tightly shut. “Hear me, that the surviving humans may once again find the good road and the shielding tree ...”

As the heat from the fires drew to a stop, the brilliant orange sky faded to a murky brown and then a hazy nightfall. The creeping red fog rested upon the scene. There were patches of dark sky that cast forward illuminating dots and streaks. Most of the stars were still shining bright and stuck high in the sky, although Lilith’s sense of vacancy was strong.

She circled around herself while smoky, smoldering embers floated into the still, hot night air in tiny plumes beside her. There was nothing in the distance but rubble and a lone purple mountain range. Lilith turned her face toward the sky once more. The hot night air and luminescent streaking stars cast down calm and peace; this was the eye of the storm. “More to come, my love,” whispered nature, Gaia herself, from around Lilith’s immortal body.

Black Elk had vanished and in his place Merlin appeared. He stood, taller than most men as he hovered above Lilith, floating in the middle of the dark red fog. He stared at Lilith with a sickening smile that foretold all of man’s fate, including Lilith’s own.

She could not confront him. Lilith just stood with lifeless motion, staring directly into

Merlin's hazy and almost transparent eyes. He returned her ambivalence with nothing but a snicker smeared across his face, and foggy eyes that told Lilith he knew the result of everything, but was baiting her.

For the first time in their interactions, Lilith felt the terrifying pure evil permeate from

Merlin. A black magic that was real, intense power and possessed all of the pitfalls, disputes, violence and ignorance of the modern mortal man, past and present. He was a martyr to them, almost like an antichrist in Lilith’s eyes.

Merlin's hazy image continued its quiet laugh as Lilith turned away in disgust. She could not bear to watch the destroyer of nothing, or the destroyer of everything, any longer.

CHAPTER TWO:

FOR HER TO SEE

“And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth? And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellow servants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled.” – Revelation 6:9-11, King

James Version, Bible.

“Will the future bring your wisdom to me? Or will darkness rule the kingdom for all eternity?” –

Michel de Nostradame.

LILITH’S THIRD EYE

3797 — New York City ruins, New York, United States

Lilith looked around for a single person, afraid to step out of the circle that she had just walked around herself. She gulped and then ventured past her own circle toward one of the many piles of dust and ash that lay a few feet from her. She knelt and let the silt sift through her fingers. This was not the same stone that she had seen in Chitchinitza.

Lilith, still kneeling into the pile of ash, looked up once more at the smoky horizon. It was not the same horizon that she had witnessed at the Mayan ruins either. Instead, the distant mountaintops were rocky and uneven, jagged and gray as they kissed the sky. They too were made of stone, but it was not the same stone. They projected an uneven silhouette against the foreign starry night and cast a large moonlit shadow.

But I thought the sky caught fire and then fell to earth?

“It did,” came a man’s deep voice from behind Lilith.

“But then what is this?” Lilith questioned without turning to look at the voice. “It is unlike anything I have ever seen.”

“Earthshaking fire from the center of the Gaia caused tremors around the New City. This place was once a great empire known as New York City,” the voice replied. “The sun storms finished off destroying it, leaving few survivors. But that is not the worst of it …”

Lilith turned to face the man. She remembered his deep and knowledgeable voice from somewhere she could not place.

The man was stout with a two-pronged beard of brown and gray. Although his face was stern, there was a serene calm that lingered in his eyes as he patiently awaited Lilith’s attention.

He wore all black that matched the black-rimmed hat perched atop his balding head.

“I don’t think it can get much worse than this,” Lilith commented, relieved that although she could not place where she knew this man, he seemed vaguely and comfortably familiar to her. “Do I know you?”

“After there is great trouble among mankind caused by the sky falling in flames from heaven, a greater one is prepared. Man grows ever confused and angry as the great mover of the

Universe will renew time, rain, blood, thirst, famine, steel weapons and disease,” the man ignored Lilith’s second question. “Man looks to blame these fallen skies, and in the heavens, a fire again seen. Instead of coming together and listening to Gaia for an explanation, Man turned against himself as well as her.”

“What does he do?”

“Two great rocks will war for a long time, and then Arethusa will redden a new river,” the kind man continued, creating a paradox between his calm delivery and the content he was relaying. “Near the gates and within two cities there will be scourges the like of which was never seen; famine within plague, people put out by steel, and they will cry to the great immortal God for relief.

“So many evils by Satan's prince will be committed that almost the entire world will find itself undone and desolated. Before these events, many rare birds will cry in the air, 'Now! Now!’

and sometime later will vanish,” the tired man kept his relaxed demeanor.

“I do not understand,” the man’s mysterious and petite frame filled Lilith’s vision as more of a vague familiarity washed over her. Had she been there before? Had she met this man before?

She knew of what he spoke with such conviction yet couldn’t recall how.

Taking a beat, Lilith began to recognize her environment as one of familiarity as well.

Ruins… a bridge… frenetic running… man turning on himself… it all seemed to have played out before. A reporter… an intuitive… a hospital. In that moment, Lilith began to see the larger picture; events playing out on a larger scale and her involvement in them. In silence, Lilith looked the man in the eyes, prompting him to continue his explanation.

“Nothing in the world can one imagine beforehand, not the least thing, everything is made up of so many unique particulars that cannot be foreseen and are, too, cosmic but are always present,” the man took a slow, deep breath, and then continued. “Nibiru, as the Sumerians call it and that which falls under the same name as Sedna or Planet X by the Westerners as well as Akkadian by the Babylonians is a comet planet that has made its return into earth’s orbit, a phenomenal and quite timely occurrence. As it travels clockwise around the asteroid belt between Jupiter and Mars, its proximity causes much disruption to our sun as well as Earth’s orbit around the sun like the events unfolding during Earth’s 2020 decade. Thus, fire rained down from the heavens in later years and thrust earth and all her inhabitants into a fifth dimension of existence,” Lilith could almost recite the man’s verse before he spoke, but she couldn’t consciously place what he was going to say next. She intuited the message and recalled this information from deep within her soul. There was a knowing of all this. It was her calling.

“There will be more famine, earthquakes and floods before man continues to turn on himself.

Gaia will rise and protect herself, and this is where you come in to help her do so.”

A visible shiver ran down Lilith’s spine as she waited for the man to continue. “This large mass will travel on an elliptical orbit that crosses the path of the inner orbits of the other planets,” the man continued with such a stoic disposition that Lilith wondered if he understood the cataclysmic effects of what he spoke. “It will collide with the Aegean Sea and create a large tsunami to hit Mount Olympus and set the rest of these profound events in motion. With it, comes a cosmic shift unlike any other.”

The man waved his hands throughout the air, stirring around the mysterious red space gases once more. They seemed to come out of nowhere. “Man does not know one very important thing, Lilith.” Lilith did not breathe nor blink. “This massive coming is the opening of the

Universe that so few have craved, felt and expected throughout the history of man. These destructive forces will draw forth super volcanic activity, sustained winds of impending strength and sky-reaching tsunamis as the first phase of a new earth; the fifth dimension and a new mankind collective. This is true pending man does not destroy Gaia, nor themselves, first. This is where you come in as the protector of Gaia; a true Gaia warrior.”

At this point, Lilith had grown used to hearing her fate, and as faintly familiar as it seemed, she still did not know what she was supposed to do. Before she was able to open her mouth and ask, the man continued. “These gates to the Universe have remained open for man since the beginning of time,” he said. “Although, he has chosen not to walk forth enlightened thus far, whilst the warring and fighting have grown. He must therefore make the choice to change or self-destruct. Welcome, this Phoenix, this glorious Daybreak Star. You will be the representation of the crossing and our new awakening,” the man’s voice trailed into the distance as his gaze began to drift to the rubble that scattered across the horizon.

“But does this all just happen to earth for man to survive and destroy himself again, thusly repeating the cycle?” Lilith begged.

“What was once a great empire has fallen into ashy rubble over man’s disputes and disagreements. The sun storms, comets and falling debris left little destruction when compared to what man has done and will do to himself,” the man’s long arm reached forward with one swift movement, illustrating to Lilith that men as a collective were responsible for the crumbled skyline that was once New York City.

There was one long line of smoky orange and brown lying directly overtop the skyscraper carcasses in the distance. The smell of ash and fire swirled through the stale air. Lilith followed the man’s graceful arm as it swept over the mass of destruction and post-warfare. She noticed a vast lack of movement or life. That same sickening familiarity began to seep deeper into Lilith’s core as she realized that this was nearly the exact landscape of her nightmares with Myrddin

Wyllt as the host. An image of Merlin towering over her with a fire spear in his right hand consumed her.

“Oh my, he is right… the monster that takes man down is himself,” Lilith suddenly felt heavy with gravity pulling her closer to earth. “Then there is no hope for man if he is so willing to destroy Gaia and all of her natural creations, including himself.”

The image of Merlin burned brighter in Lilith’s vision as she watched a devious smile smear across his face. His dark and ominous figure appeared as a larger fog this time, emulating the cosmic gases, as it filled the red sky behind the man. There were three large C-130 tanker airlines circling through Merlin’s smoke and gases. Lilith kept her eyes fixed on this image of godlike proportions in the sky. Mist trailed off his stretched arms and below his torso that disappeared into the crushed stone buildings that lie in ruin.

“That is still not the worst, Lilith,” Nostradamus interrupted Lilith’s vision, which had not disappeared before Lilith could continue to stare at it hard. Merlin was making disturbing eye contact with Lilith from his location in the sky as if there were nothing happening around her on earth; a more intense version of what she had gone through with him in Chichinitza. She continued to glare into Merlin’s wicked eyes, her face still pointed toward the man.

“The great Camel, which shall not repent, will come to River Danube and Rhine to drink.

And, the Cock shall ruin the trembling River Rhone, growing most violent near River Loire and the Alps,” the man ignored Merlin’s distraction. “The two greatest ones of Asia and of Africa will come from the Rhine and Lower Danube. Cries, tears in Malta and the Ligurian side will follow.

Then, from the depths of the Western Europe, a young child will be born of poor people, he will seduce a great troop with his words. His fame will increase towards the realm of the East.

“They will speak of this Lord as their shepherd. He makes them down to lie and although they shall not want, they do.” The man looked to the rubble that was crumbling under his feet.

“What has cometh through archaic times, these followers with their fake Lord. They led through death and destruction, promising of an oasis through pastures green and waters silent. There, in the midst of lies and slick tongue, did he bear his bright knife and released their souls.”

Lilith felt ill as the enormous holographic image of Merlin floating over her and

Nostradamus hovered in the sky, war planes zipping with frenzy in and out of this picture.

“He put those followers upon high hooks hang and as he transformed them into cutlets, he revealed his mighty power and hunger,” the man began to take notice only to the loud boom of dropping bombs in the distance, acknowledging them with a small and almost irritated shift of his eyes. There were shouts that came from afar, although people were nowhere to be found.

Lilith continued her fit of stares with Merlin. A twinge of despise lingered in her stomach with every one of their interactions. Why do you haunt me so?! Should you not help me achieve what it is you need for me to accomplish? Instead, you are a plague and appear wherever you please!

You are the wicked and hungry man for which Nostradamus speaks, are you not?

The smirk on Merlin’s face grew larger as he waved his arms forward and back. There were puffs of smoke that appeared in the sky behind him, visible through his transient body.

Loud blasts that could not be identified filled the spaces around Lilith and the man.

“When the day came for the followers to rise as phantoms against their master, they do so through meditation and quiet reflection. They will take him down with a final blow to achieve justice and start anew,” the man did not hesitate to stop his message to Lilith despite the destruction surrounding them.

Lilith finally broke her stare with Merlin, meeting the eyes of the man who spoke in front of her. She sighed as his kind eyes stayed placid with patience and forgiveness. “Is this some form of cannibalism among man? Began by a wicked sorcerer?” She asked with a fragility that surprised her. Compelled to win her silent battle with Merlin while maintaining her conversation with the kind man, Lilith glanced back into the swirling skies to find them vacant of Merlin, yet filled with warring airplanes mixed with smoke, gases and parachutes. She noticed that there was still screaming in the distance. The loud booms were growing louder and more frequent.

“From the enslaved populace will come songs, chants and demands while princes and lords are held captive in prisons,” the man explained. “In the future headless idiots will produce these scriptures as divine prayers.”

“This is awful. How am I supposed to stop it?” Lilith redirected her attention back to man, sure that Merlin would appear somewhere else very soon. Her detest for the evil sorcerer continued to grow. “Is there no way to ban together and establish a new order under this civil unrest?” A thick wash of distain and hopelessness crept over her.

“Lilith, you may not save those who do not wish to be saved,” Lilith tried to remember where she had heard this said to her before. The man continued; “Nothing will work if man does not allow it to. We have had the option to enter through the open Universe gates for its eternity yet have not chosen to do so. It may be too late for that, but man still holds the key to their enlightenment, living in a land of peace and serenity. They just do not possess the power to understand this and quarrel violently as a result. Great War will rage among man instead, and He needs his soul to prosper, those without will not.”

A large cloud of smoke resembling a mushroom erupted from the horizon behind the man before a wide and very bright circle of neon light burst outward from it.

Lilith remembered this image from her dreams. She remembered Merlin. She knew that she had very little time, but that this next piece of information was imperative: “Who are you at last?!” Lilith shrieked over the plummeting bombs and impending physical blast that she was expecting. She watched the spreading of this neon light seep over the ruins of the New City.

“My name is Michel de Nostredame.” And in a matter of milliseconds with which Lilith was unsure if she verbally asked the Michel or if he was able to read her thoughts, she said, with a small and relieved smile, “Yes, yes I suppose you are.”

As if all of time had been split in half, Lilith embraced the piercing flame of this bright blue fire as it scorched her from the inside out. It was different than the flame she had been burned from centuries ago. Perhaps I am not scared of dying because I am not alive to be killed?

Lilith pondered.

There was no time to run for shelter, nor did she want to. Instead, Lilith allowed a small nugget of comfort fill her with the onset of this foreign substance. She watched the slow and beautiful image of decay from this burning release sweep over the land and dance with the cosmic gases that she stood in. It shriveled while the light tore through the gravel and rock under her bare feet, leaving little but ash in its path. She looked to where the Michel was once standing.

A transient image of him stood calmly staring back at her.

May I beg one more question of you? Llilith hoped that he could hear her thoughts overtop the slaughter of what was left of the New City. Those vague impressions that were as murky as colors in soiled water finally began to surface in Lilith’s mind. She watched the burning light move past her and Michel now, gliding over the water and disintegrating abandoned steel and cement boats in its wake. Memories and figments of images that she did not know filled her mind. She felt transparent and exposed, suddenly remembering to ask Michel the most important question of all. Who am I? Lilith met Michel’s eye without realizing that the serene smile she kept was still silently resting upon her face.

The lost thing is discovered, hidden for many centuries. Pasteur will be celebrated almost as a God-like figure. This is when the moon completes her great cycle, but by other rumors he shall be dishonored. Michel thought before quietly fading away.

LILITH’S THIRD EYE

Timeless — Chasm of Space and Time

I cannot hear you because of all the static in my head but let me know how I may help.

We will walk together among an orange mass of destruction before I begin to crack, so do not worry quite yet. Time holds but little significance to me in these neoteric passing days.

And a message to you, oh mighty Spirit, the phantom of my nightmares; why plague me with their wickedness when complacent extermination may satisfy me? Why must I die to save them, most of whom would rather parish in my foreboding fire anyhow? To what affirmative rapt shall Gaia benefit from keeping Him here? He will continue to pursue those habits so ingrained and destructive within Him.

So, what if I say yes, I would like to help Him? Things have still flipped completely out of sorts and the load too heavy for my wings to bear. Having a grasp on something as absolute as gravity is challenging for me. If He would like to wait for me to float back down, then maybe there is little hope. Although, I may never come back down.

I do not really know what has happened, but I know that you want me dead and dead I am. Dead will not save Them.

Ironic and aggressive is the situation, and maybe I can help... just let me know what I can do from inside this empty shell because I cannot hear you over Their screams and it is growing ever dark. I hear the esoteric thoughts of spanning dimensions in my head as they spiral back to life. The remains of the New City shudder underneath Them now. For where do They belong?

They must march along to my beat and hear me sing the song of Their survival. Yes, I may save Them only out of obligation. She is ringing in my ears like the complete fall of

Babylon. Their sins have reached the heavens at last, and They deserve it all. I may detract her for a millennial or two, or do I want to detract her at all? Neither is an option of my choosing.

Help me save Them and give me the reason to martyr myself for their evil. May They prevail as a collective human race to finally love, or will They learn nothing and war at one another, Gaia, our Earth, and her other inhabitants once more? I shall not pass this judgment onto

Them, my indifference understood and echoing throughout the centuries. Total destruction may be Their fate, while total renewal is Their only option. This is not my burden to carry.

Help Them oh hateful bird, for your silence is no longer calling Them strong. Do I carry out the will of the flame or release Their shackles and fall with their treacherous souls to Their dismal demise?

This dent in humanity is the detriment to Earth and is no longer overlooked by the

Universe, by Source. Forever is no more. Decisions must be made. There is no turning back.

Savior has lost.

Perhaps I would like to help Man and become the invisible catalyst to His future, but I do not know that I believe in Him any longer. I believe that She is right in her cleansing and purge of His malevolence. Therefore, how do I make this work? Or, furthermore, shall I want to make this work? Ascension is the only way forward. They had better be ready for this.

CHAPTER THREE:

TO BRING ABOUT FURTHER UNREST

“Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.” – Luke

12:40, King James Version, Bible.

“And when the dragon’s tail is gone Man forgets and smiles and carries on. To apply Himself - too late, too late for mankind has earned deserved fate.” Mother Shipton's Last Prophecy, by

Charles Hindley.

“The cult of religion shall be destroyed completely, and the ruin of the churches shall be clear for all to see. The race that is oppressed shall prevail in the end, for it will resist the savagery of the invaders.” – The History of the Kings of Britain, The Prophecies of Merlin by Geoffrey of

Monmouth.

TO BRING ABOUT FURTHER UNREST

4589 – Somewhere in China

It all feels as transient as a dream, Lilith thought, glancing down at the flesh that covered her hands. They somehow appeared thin and invisible in patches, melting and then rejoining in certain parts, but she did not have time to concern herself with such things. Now where have I ended up?

She scanned the barren land once more for signs of movement or life. This was not the same devastated terrain as the New City, but it really did not matter.

She waited silently for something, anything to happen. Nothing. The most eventful occurrence was a thick dusty smog that slowly drifted past her, dancing with the mystery gases.

She felt like she had been standing there for hours, although this place held no purpose for time.

There was no sense of urgency; the chaos already carried out. She exhaled and released her eerie sense of relaxation into the existing chemicals that floated past, the red substance surrounding her.

As she began to move her feet, pivoting in small concentric circles around herself, she let her arms rise up in the heat that was swirling around her. It lifted her arms with ease, squeezing them with hot pressure. Lilith allowed a sigh to escape her lips while she closed her eyes, protecting them from further burn in the intensifying temperature. For the first time in a long time, she released the tension from her body and let herself fully feel New Earth’s uprising, its ascension to 5D and a higher purpose. She allowed this peace to seep into her disappearing body, absorbing it on what she remembered to be a cellular level as she felt the harmony pulse through what used to be her veins.

The heat was growing ever stronger and more unbearable to her as she welcomed it entirely, allowing it to consume every muscle strand and fiber still present in her body. The embers mounting in her core now and matching her external temperature, promised that eventually she will burst into flames.

“Grrrraaaarrrreeeee!” Came a faraway roar so exotically inhuman and animalistic, that

Lilith was jolted violently from her fiery daydream. Her temperature immediately dropped as she stood staring at the low foggy gasses slowly passing her by.

“Hello?” She shouted in the direction of the noise. Was that a human? Surely this planet has been left desolate and uninhabited, Lilith thought.

“Mmmmmmeeeeerrrrr…” Another strange grumble from the opposite direction filled the air, this one less intense and sounding slightly more human.

“Who is out there? Do you need help –” Lilith cut herself off, shocked at the questions that escaped her mouth.

“Raaaaarrrrzzzzzzz!” Shouted the first voice, this time much closer to Lilith than before.

The annoyingly familiar sensation of chaotic butterflies swarming around Lilith’s now tempest stomach grew fierce. That sensation gave Lilith the urge to uproot her feet and start running with every thump she heard as the beast drew near. Her legs thick like moving through quicksand.

What if this is a future, meta human seeking help? Lilith tried to convince herself, growing more exhausted as the sound of the pounding feet and growls approached angrier and angrier. Finally, Lilith was able to make out the silhouette of a disturbing and distorted human figure, one that was consistently tilted to the right and hobbling uncontrollably toward her. Lilith took a step back but kept her eyes fixed on the image staggering towards her.

The image started to become clearer through the menacing red fog. It was a human, of sorts. The right side of its body had been badly burned, although it did not notice. This naked being was dragging its right foot behind itself as it became excited to see Lilith. This creature sped up and Lilith took another large step backward, this time fixing her eyes on its now almost entirely visible face.

This former human’s jaw was dangling and unhinged. It was still able to make those terrifying gurgles and growls, despite what looked like skin melting off its face. Lilith noticed that there were more stumbling and lurching creatures behind this one. Without waiting for the beast to approach her any longer, Lilith spun around and ran fast in the opposite direction, allowing the piercing hot air to fill her lungs as she stumbled away from the terrifying humanoids.

Running in wild fury, Lilith’s ears filled with the compiled sounds of the beasts’ moans and growls. It played as a rhythm while she ran hard with determination, slamming into a staggering creature without realizing it. She shoved it with her forearm and watched it fall to the ground next to her. She paused a moment to acknowledge what she saw before her. The creature lay below her, arms detached from its writhing body as it attempted to stand up without its arms.

Its left foot had been badly broken, jutting outward from the rest of its leg. Lilith felt a sticky, gooey residue against her forearm. She looked down, not wanting to realize what she saw; pieces of the creature’s warped flesh had stuck to Lilith and was now sizzling and burning into the patchy skin on her arm.

She screamed in a stifled and inaudibly pathetic manner before noticing more distorted silhouettes approaching her from both sides. She jolted, sprinting forward and not looking back.

* * * * *

Lilith was not sure how long she had been running, but the squelched air and her attempts to catch her breath were growing more agonizing. Surely, I cannot breathe any oxygen in this stagnancy, Lilith thought with little concern for her oxygen consumption. I need to press on because it must not matter.

She allowed the sound of her light feet punch the austere earth below her. It had never felt so solid before. The sound of her rhythmic and shallow breathing found moments of synchronicity with the shrill and terrifying creature sounds in the distance. It became a rhythmic pattern. Lilith listened for what she wished was her own strong pulse, the echo of her heartbeat in her ears. She settled upon a tempo that met the cadence of her feet as she listened and ran, strong and aligned.

The distorted image of a mangled tree trunk became clearer and clearer as Lilith pounded the dirt with her steady feet to the sound of her rhythmic breathing. Its twisted corpse had been clearly ravished by some destruction long ago, possibly the same destruction that had mangled and distorted the once human beings that Lilith had encountered moments before. She hadn't heard the beast for miles, and it was natural that the next phase would bring her to rest upon the tree trunk.

She came to an abrupt stop right in front of the tree trunk and let out gasps of breath as if she hadn't been breathing that entire time. She let her hands place on her knees and bent over to regain heaps of oxygen.

The running had stopped, and her brain was reeling with guesses and projections for what happened to these people. Fatigue would not allow her to dwell upon the issue, and basic survival instincts tried to convince her to do something more useful with her time like find water and shelter. She would not allow this eerie feeling and her decoding it pass yet; she needed to fully embody these visceral thoughts.

As she began to stand up straight again, almost on cue, she realized something that would allow her some peace and solace during all the destruction and post-life: Merlin is behind everything. That monster is controlling all and must be stopped!

Knowing that she did not have any further guesses or the energy to probe more into the topic, she decided she was satisfied with this hypothesis and would look for shelter.

Lilith noticed a deep black abyss underneath one of the twisted roots. It seemed out of place and oddly inviting. She stared into the entrance of this mysterious cave, waiting for another undead beast to jump out at her, but nothing happened. She continued to stare into its depth.

Time had lost all importance when Lilith began to hear distant growls and groans. She looked over her shoulder toward the growls, and then back at the cave. Lilith dove forward and into the black hole without a second thought.

She landed hard on the cold earth. There were no sounds, no growls or groans. Lilith exhaled and allowed herself to feel the scrapes and bruises along her arms and knees from the fall. She looked up to the entrance of the hole and saw the other side of the twisted root that was guarding the entryway. She thanked it for allowing her to take refuge in the cave, silently hoped not to run into any more creatures, looked farther into the pathway in front of her, and began crawling into darkness.

She couldn't help but succumb to the sting of anger towards Merlin that was piercing her breath every time she inhaled. It made her grow even angrier at him as she crawled with more diligence toward something she did not know.

Lilith was marching so hard that she barely noticed scuffles and fluttering that was happening in spurts around her. Small pieces of packed earth tumbled at her sides as she began to feel trapped.

“Now what?!” She asked out loud. “I know you are up to something!” She expected

Merlin to appear in a billowy dust and fog storm, or concave the dirt walls, crushing her body, but nothing happened.

One flutter got so close to her right ear that it sent chills down her spine and made her flinch. That did not sound good, nor small.

It grew even darker the further she crawled into the hole. The further she crawled, the louder she heard scuffles and fluttering. The louder she heard scuffles and fluttering, and the more she began to feel them fly and crawl past her, the shorter in breath she got.

Lilith realized that she was breathing in spurts and not steady streams of oxygen. She let out little noises as she struggled to take breaths in and out. One of the creatures flew straight into her forehead and landed there, scurrying and buzzing its large, insect-like wings against her face.

Lilith screamed, and although she did not lose consciousness, seconds were passing her in waves. She recognized that she was no longer crawling, although she was moving at a much faster pace than she had been earlier. She was being dragged in another direction, the grip on her arm tight and unforgiving.

All she could do was hold her knees into her chest and create a small ball with her body as the dirt scraped underneath one hip in torrents of pain and numbness. It was a human hand that was dragging her through the cave, not the melted flesh that burned her earlier, but an actual human hand. The hand was cold despite the apocalyptic heat that consumed the land above.

She could see small glimmers of glowing candlelight pop in and out of her vision above her head as the fierce dragging continued. The small amount of light was enough to catch disturbing glimpses of large, black spider-like creatures zooming past her. She winced.

These creatures had appendages the size of a hummingbird's wings, the body of a tarantula missing two legs, and the velocity of a dragonfly at full speed. Lilith caught another glimpse of one of these creatures as it paused a moment a few paces in front of her face. The wings replaced the spider-like insect's two missing legs. It buzzed angrily in front of Lilith before she noticed the creature getting ready to perform an attack or aggression towards her. She moved her head from side to side and for the first time since the dragging had started, Lilith tried to pull away from the cold hand.

“Stop it! You're just going to upset them more!” A British accent with familiar nuances leaped into her brain and scolded her. There was an actual person dragging her as he stood directly above her. He was communicating with her telepathically.

Lilith went limp as striking images of a blond woman, bursts of flame, a screaming, damning Governor and a midnight cat named Aradia flooded over her. Aradia's face transformed into Merlin's laughing face as a transient resemblance faded away. Her mortal body had been dragged like that once before, but those memories belonged to someone different, a dead woman.

A peace that she recognized washed over the last of the dead woman's memories. That was not reality. Although a cognizant tranquility was her reality once before, Lilith embraced a sad certainty that it was all false and the dead woman lived in an idealized human society far ahead of her actual time.

The impressions of being too advanced for her era were solidified, and Lilith's sadness turned into something like sympathy. She had the power to decide fate, and the dead woman's bitterness would influence Lilith's decision. The dead woman was not treated well in life, ever.

Humans are not kind. Lilith's face went warm, and her eyes filled in deeper black. She thought of her first experience as this new spirit in Chichinitza, and how she felt pins and needles while color faded. She remembered the sun storms and the ruins, waking in the New City and now being dragged by a telepathic something underground while other apocalyptic somethings were chasing after her.

At times, Lilith recognized the sensation of skin, but it seemed as if only to translate physical pain, other times she was aware that she was morphing into a figment of something bigger, better, stronger and more powerful. She knew she was the dead woman from long ago, and there were moments to hang on to any mortal and sincere panic as more unfamiliar scenarios unfolded around her. Then, there were moments she needed to actualize this ephemeral process that was happening to her. This abstract parallel wedge sent shivers down her spine as she found herself somewhere in the middle of it all.

What do you want, Merlin? There was no response.

The dragging had stopped, and Lilith could only guess that it had stopped long before.

There were scattered sounds of shuffling and loud animal barking that came and went from all directions around her without reason. Lilith was unsure if she was hearing those sounds in her head.

The sound of a match striking sandpaper tore through the surrounding barks and shuffling. Lilith was watching a man with a very large, scalped cranium concentrate on lighting the only candle in the center of the packed dirt room. She was sitting against the wall in a corner opposite their tunneled entrance.

“Where are we?” Lilith asked the man out loud. He had a tranquil expression on his face, and although he was mostly unclothed except for a tattered piece of cloth over his loin, she felt relieved to be in his presence.

“You had a run-in with the evolved species of flesh-eating arachnids, and because you had made such a ruckus, the rabid dogs are out.” The man went on with lighting the candle as if he had not answered her question. He was once again communicating with Lilith telepathically.

“I pulled you to a safe zone because we've been waiting for you.”

“I thought everyone was dead, or the undead...” Lilith thought back to the man. He smiled at her in recognition of her relief in this simple and efficient form of communication.

“What year is it?”

“You are in your future. We are underground of what was once known as China. Where exactly, it does not matter.” The man was staring at Lilith now. “I will catch you up quickly before we go to meet the others:

“There are very few human societies left on this Earth after all the nuclear bombs were released. Some of the chemicals altered certain individuals' DNA strands and turned them into an enlightened anthropomorphic species, whereas some people had a transverse reaction and did not quite die but began the decaying process. Their brains were the first part of their bodies to melt away.”

Lilith allowed the flashes of images projected by the man's brain fill her head as he went on.

“Some humans developed strange new strains of cancer as some of the chemicals burned their way into the person's DNA or attached onto a cell, morphing that person into, essentially, a monster.

“Certain individuals are insusceptible to the nuclear blasts and took refuge underground.

Most everyone else on Earth died.” The man remained emotionally untainted despite speaking on the thralls of genocide. He continued, “There are a handful of others who found sanctuary with the intellectuals, although they were forever deformed in some way. These people endure the symptoms that people of your time called crazy, delusional, disabled or schizophrenic. They, in fact, have brought a lot of brilliance with them in a different manner.”

“And what of the animals?” Lilith enjoyed the cold on the dirt echoing through her disappearing physical body, but felt her eyes grow hot. I will have to fight soon.

The man sat down next to the tunnel entrance and never took his eyes off Lilith. “Yes, you will,” he continued, “Some animals left their mortal bodies and became phantoms, ghost creatures Earth-bound. Others had a reaction like the undead humans, although they became more advanced species. The animals affected evolved from Arachnids, Canines, Ichthyes, Equus

Ferus Caballus and some Humanoids adapted to live in water. Your era used to refer to these beings as Mermaids.”

Lilith recognized the snarls above them as rabid dogs. She wanted to feed her morbid curiosity and get a better look at the flying spider creatures with closer inspection this time but was stopped short by the man.

“We don't have time for that,” he stared deep into Lilith. “We need to get you with the others and prepared for your big fight.”

Lilith did not question, argue or probe further into the matter. She knew she did not have control of the events unfolding in front of her; had no control ever since this insanity began.

“Then let us go,” Lilith rose from the cold floor and walked over to the man with her hand outstretched. She knew he could transport them to where he wanted to go. Telepathy must have been a product of the nuclear chemicals as well.

“It was,” the man touched her hand gently, closed his eyes and they flickered a few moments before entirely disappearing. They left behind a dimmed candle that was lightly smoking in the middle of the floor while the sounds of flesh-eating spiders, rabid dogs and undead humans grew louder and more intense in the chaos above ground.

CHAPTER FOUR:

GAIA

“For storms will rage and oceans roar When Gabriel stands on sea and shore, and as he blows his wondrous horn Old worlds die and new be born.” Mother Shipton's Last Prophecy, by Charles

Hindley.

“Achievement of the zero state can be imagined to arrive in one of two forms. One is the dissolution of the cosmos in an actual cessation and unraveling of the natural laws, a literal apocalypse. The other possibility… the culmination of a human process, a process of tool making, which comes to completion in the perfect artifact: the monadic self, exteriorized, condensed, and visible in three dimensions; in alchemical terms, the dream of a union of spirit and matter.” – Terence, Dennis McKenna.

“He who departs from innocence, what does he come to? Heaven's will and blessing do not go with his deeds.” – Confucius.

“The Day that We roll up the heavens like a scroll rolled up for books (completed), - even as We produced the first creation, so shall We produce a new one: a promise We have undertaken: truly shall We fulfil it." 21:104 Yusuf Ali from Quaran.

GAIA

4589 – The Former Nile River Delta, Egypt

There was everything rustic and primordial about where Lilith and the man landed. They were in the middle of a gathering with many intellectual, large-minded meta posthumans. Six of these advanced people were sitting patiently in a circle around Lilith and the man.

Lilith immediately connected with the group and allowed the peace to penetrate her mind’s eye and resonate within her soul. They all had their eyes closed as if they were meditating.

“We are the most advanced Utopian society left on Earth,” a woman with a larger head than the man stood up and greeted Lilith. She was old and grim, although her eyes were kind and alive with the highest acumen. “We want to show you our current world before Merlin returns and you are faced with your decision uninformed. We have scoured the Earth and gathered the materials that you will need to make your decision.

“The fable of Atlantis is not a fable after all. Their crystal which represented the human collective thought was destroyed by the ushering of the next life cycle that the Mesoamericans noted as 14th b'ak'tun, and the Jain's Du?am?. This life cycle was cruel, inhumane and barbaric.

You will need to obliterate it.

“There was talk of a coming extraterrestrial race upon a large blue planet orbiting our solar system every 3,600 years. This blue star often referred to as Nibiru was supposed to carry a race called the Anunnaki, of intelligence and higher minds. You’ve noticed the space gases that perpetually remain here now, undoubtedly. These gases have an origin correlating to the inception of the Universe in protection of Earth, of Gaia. You need not know now why the fog is here but know that it carries messages and codes within that will be relevant to you in carnation once you return to Earth, which you will. All of this, the gases, everything, represents an antichrist evil or dawning or a new epoch, depending on who interprets the story.

“That theory is not much different than the cataclysmic events of a Biblical character named Noah washing the Earth over 40 days in a cleansing, genocidal execution of all but paired, innocent beings. This theory of cleansing has also been linked to a large nova star breaking free of proto-Saturn and wreaking havoc on Earth's inhabitants as well. The later is closer to the reality of what will happen.

“Since they could do it, man has come up with lavish stories and theories of why and how we came to be. The one thing they did comprehend unhindered is that there is a higher purpose and more to our DNA structure and system make-up than meets the eye, but only few have successfully understood this as fact and brought uncorrupted information forward. We are stardust, the cosmos. We all come from Source; we are all one. incarnating and reincarnating here and there throughout the Universe at various times to give our souls the tools, experience and magic that we need.”

I have been sent here to destroy this world, then. As prodigal fables told before me have illustrated. Everything came together in Lilith's mind’s eye. She allowed the intellectuals to fill her head with the knowledge of what they had fought and scavenged so long and hard for. They politely asked her to join them on the journey in her mind. She accepted.

She saw in her mind's eye the detrimental blasts of nuclear warfare and mass panic among leaders, civilians in the streets and broadcasters on the news. Lilith watched as flashes of light burst into flames in many cities across the globe. Some happened simultaneously and some in staggered attempts.

Lilith watched as a crying mother cradled her limp child while running from tanks and machines that had already plowed through cities and buildings. She saw that this had been a city of great power and money many, many moons ago.

She watched in an accelerated motion as large forests were burned to the ground. She watched flocks of animals darting to and from cement wreckage while hails of bullets riddled down from the heavens.

Lilith saw great floods wash over the land, tossing boats of enormous size onto shore as if they were leaves drifting through the waters.

People suffered during these times. Lilith's eyes continued to flicker and shine as she saw bodies stacked upon bodies in dirt fields that went on into the horizon. She watched as long, white fish flew through the sky at tremendous speeds while these mad dogs ran in hordes after the one lone human survivor, leaping onto the naked man and tearing him apart.

She watched a group of ravenous humans attack another survivor, this time the survivor was attempting to surrender to the cannibal group before they savagely attacked him.

There was no power, no technology, and no driving force moving man into the next phase of existence.

Finally, Lilith watched as much time had passed, nature shifting and morphing in troths as one by one, a large-headed human would suddenly appear, dig around for something among a pile of other former things, and then disappear quickly before a flock of large spiders buzzed toward the person.

She saw similar scavenging with each of the intellectuals rescuing some type of book or document from some pile of wreckage globally. The degree of devastation different in every case and every city.

All the other images of destruction, panic, chaos, sadness and death started to fade away as only names came into Lilith's mind now.

The intellectuals were showing her the raw works of a brilliant mind named Einstein.

They filled her head with his predictions of the future and his optimistic and pacifistic hopes for mankind. She felt sadness for him in realizing that his own personal notebooks illustrated the dismal predictions of World War Three unfolding and the potential for these heinous creatures becoming a reality. His predictions were laid out in a very pragmatic and mathematical method, with theories explaining the evolution of these species and Mother Nature's retaliation.

Einstein had proven the new devolution of man and nature with clusters of numbers and jumbles of words. He talked about chemistry and a new planet, which he referred to as a New

Earth. He wrote of a futuristic Eco-friendly new form of technology that would help man connect with themselves and nature in an advanced manner. He did not realize what it was as he predicted it, but right before the fall of man was a twinge of hope that came in the form of mass communication and information sharing through endless amounts of advanced technology.

People began to regain faith in themselves through the Webbot Project before things began to fall apart worse than before. Lilith felt the excitement of Einstein's hypothesis in paving the way for a potential future human collective via this improved technology. She was relieved that he had not been alive to experience the demise of the human race.

Her disposition began to dissolve into sadness at the taunting and ridicule of Einstein's peers as both a young child as well as an adolescent.

The memory and knowledge were gone.

The intellectuals continued to fill Lilith's mind with materials to prepare her for Merlin.

They showed her a thick book with the lettering, King James Bible, across the front of it. The book flew open to a page stating, “Revelation 6:3-4.” Lilith recognized this section as the cause of great warfare.

“And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.”

Lilith used all of the knowledge that she had about the Bible to help her decipher and interpret the information in an efficient way. She removed all emotion from the equation.

Revelations 6:5-6 opened the cause of great famine. It read: “And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.”

Revelations 6:7-8 was to bring about further unrest. It read: “And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.”

Lilith went back even farther to the depths of religious creation and its inception. She saw men all over the globe raising their hands to the stars and congregating to depict a communal text of morals and ethics. They all derived from the celestial bodies; a cosmological phenomenon that had been grossly distorted as humans evolved further throughout history.

All religions, spanning from Christianity to Jainism, eternally depicted the same ethereal equation; the stars and planetary spirits ruled whether in love or in sin. That is where the interpretations grew blurry and human translations inconsistent.

Lilith saw the delineation of human souls in relation to the planetary spirits and phantom forms. Like us, there was energy without form created with Earth in the Universe and existing alongside mortal humans. Some religions and non-religions called them phantoms, some spirits, some ghosts, some angels and some souls. Each name as each interpretation was accurate. This same cosmological referencing is how early man fashioned the first texts of good and ethical, moral manner to be followed as a guide in conducting an enlightened, advanced and evolved society.

Oh, how Man did stray from his original intent. Over time, this evolved into an excuse for war and argument as a form of misinterpretation by the same people who drafted these ancient texts. They fought over nothing and yet were convinced it was over everything. Would they have ceased their fighting if they knew their inevitable fate? Would they have woken up to the messages of the Universe?

The memories and journey of the mind stopped. This is where we are. They are the New

Earth; the Earth that I save or destroy. I am in the presence of brilliance and they are aware that rejuvenation or a total demolish is on the horizon.

The old woman kept her eyes on Lilith as a small smile swept over her face. “Either decision will be the right one. Man has spent so much time and energy on destroying himself as well as our Earth, that total renewal in any form is necessary.”

The woman closed her eyes, while the circle of meditation remained silent and concentrated on the delivery of vital information to Lilith.

The entire Babylonian history unfolded itself upon Lilith's mind. She saw convolution, chaos and disarray. There was no distinction between reality and dream-state in this ancient city.

Lilith recognized this as the epicenter for contradiction, which paralleled what the current state of all Earth had become.

Flashes of a similar, ancient Utopian society named Atlantis flooded Lilith's mind. A man with wild, lavish white hair sat diligently penning an idealized society. Lilith watched his face, lit under by a flickering candle, remain stern and ruminate as he pleaded with the page to deliver this message to man. On the page he wrote, “Critias.”

He wrote fervidly of a society destined to prevail, but that found a dark element to clamor onto, thusly losing their illumination and radiance.

“Great thinkers of the past had tried with everything they had to get the message across to man; from the day we manifested on Earth from the cosmos. He warned of keeping kindness a virtue to Mother Nature and his fellow man. He praised philosophers and progressive thinkers, yet they were constantly condemned for their evolutionary minds. It became known and custom for Man to eat Man,” the woman paused for Lilith to process the information.

The tiny glimmer of hope that had sparked within Lilith for a total enlightenment of mankind to usher Earth into the 5D began to fade. She saw the bloody wars and senseless deaths rise once more.

“Man continued to kill themselves time and time again,” the old woman projected toward

Lilith with her eyes closed and her lips silent. “The truly sad part is that humans contained the potential to be genius and enlightened this whole time. We could have already evolved to the 5D and helped Gaia get there, too. It just takes discipline, peace and advancement to achieve this level of wisdom, but they could have had it.

“We began a race so promising, intellectual and hopeful. Humans have always fought, but there were moments of balance that the scales almost tipped with intrepidity in our favor, tipped towards love.

“The cosmic gates have opened for man before. There was a time when enlightened people could enter in masses to achieve the level of higher neurological mastery, and yet they did not take it,” the woman remained unattached to the information delivered as it passed through her and straight into Lilith. “These intellectuals believed they could reside upon Earth the way it was and help Man from within. Rather than vein, these individuals were naive and ever too hopeful; they were martyrs.

“Cosmology is accurate, and even the supposed mythological cosmology, in all its contradiction, did exist. Humans were all correct, all of them...”

...And yet they chose to fight wars and wage everlasting feuds with each other.

“Yes.” The elder woman continued, “Once came long ago an acceptance of all in existence until the potential for power seeped into our souls with the onset of greed and the idea of 'self' as an adjacent and always hungry being separate of 'us.' Thus, born the 'ego,' a loud inner voice residing solely within our minds and creating disruptive dialog between our true spirits and nature.

“Our evolved society does not deal with the ego, for that concept was destroyed in chemicals with everything else. What born from it is our immaculate thought stream delivered entirely from our harnessed subconscious. We have lost the ability to think without reason and to act upon impulse as there is no longer a subconscious agenda to blindly guide us through existence. Upon our definite eschatology, a new race of evolved Humans will discover that in our small era, we bridged the gap between what Man was and what He will transpire to become.

“It is a beautiful thing, Lilith.” The woman remained quiet with a small smile appearing over her face. She continued to communicate with Lilith, her eyes closed in peace. “You must be the one to renew, not Merlin. May I feed you more information?”

Absolutely.

Lilith closed her eyes to see a red swirl of thick clouds and space gases from long ago, circle the dark skies in her mind. She allowed the woman's thought to reach straight into her brain. She felt connected and harmonious with the Universe.

The sky was beautifully streaked with a blood-like glow. Although it carried with it an ominous design, Lilith had not felt this tranquil since her journey had begun.

She continued to keep her eyes shut as her mind's eye looked down to her bare feet upon the solid rock of Earth. She saw a book of stone with Chinese scripture. She bent down to pick it up, the swirling sky mixing stars with deep red cosmic gases in complete silence. Total peace.

Lilith did not open the stone book but held it to her chest and closed her eyes. Her physical body was pressing air into her chest as if she were cradling a baby, but her mind's eye had the book of stone securely against her flesh.

Lilith saw a New World enhancement in the form of a perfectly balanced Universe. It is not in a balanced state, the elder woman allowed into Lilith's brain. The world has not been in balance for a very, very long time.

'I-Ching' appeared across Lilith's mind's eye. She allowed the information to penetrate through her soul as she gathered more history and information.

This document is vital for eternal change on and within Earth as well as the future of existence. It showed Lilith the cosmogony balance between all sentient beings in regard to the

Universe through 8 trigrams and 64 hexagrams. Lilith inhaled deeply as she allowed the 11th hexagram of symmetrical balance between Earth and Heaven permeate in her. It told her of a time in nature when Heaven will reside on Earth. During this time, they settle in complete harmony as all spirits sit in peace among the land. Lilith felt this peace in the present.

The T'ai told her of a beam of light to illustrate this peace. She watched this ray ascend through her fading body from Middle Earth and into the same circling sky she stood below. It was a clear and tranquil distinction into bliss and the fifth dimension. I am the light. We are the light.

Lilith capitulated in a total release, allowing herself for the first time feel Man's positive intentions rise and fill her with a balanced and centered powerful influence. She knew it was not a permanent authority to rule in love and light, but so long as Lilith may see even a glimmer of hope in Man, the better her chances to manifest in the appropriate manner to His fate.

Out will move the feeble elements of evil energy and in the strong and right energies of the cosmos and Earth. This will last a short period while Man will decipher the ephemeral changes that would sweep his history and pave way for a new existence. He is correct; it will be rung in by a new and dominant force, one that is other-worldly and of cosmically higher evolution. Lilith and Merlin, the eternal tale of good versus evil eschatology; the shadow patriarch and Lilith, who was painted as the shadow matriarch by man. This was written in their fates.

In culminating Buddhism's age of Dharma decline; Christianity's Book of Revelation;

Hinduism's end of Kali Yuga epoch; Islamic Day of Resurrection; Judaism's dawning Messianic

Age; and the Zoroastrianism's hopeful Frashokereti, Lilith again embodied Man's empathic distress and hope all at once. Frustrated that they had painted her a demon in most cultures,

Lilith’s purpose was truly revealing itself. That’s why it’s me. I am not the shadow matriarch but a terrible, disillusioned lie and a product of the shadow patriarch.

She allowed the contradicting and complementary elements of all facets of humanity’s insane attempts at explaining existence and enlightenment absorb through her immortal soul.

These religions, once long ago, had predicted similar judgments and yet none in co-existence.

She acknowledged the pain and suffering endured by all. It was all-consuming and beautifully tragic in a very accidental and tender manner. Everything was born of naivety and not spite. As this feeling began to creep in, the peaceful I-Ching prediction became lost and muddled.

How did the shadow patriarch grow so powerful and create such evil in the world? Lilith concentrated in deep meditation to take a journey finding her own answer. The intellectuals were all guiding her in the direction of her resolution, but they remained silent so that she could seek what she needed indisposed.

Lilith saw Merlin through her Mind's Eye running frantically through a forest during a time that she could vaguely remember living through.

He was known as Lailoken during this time, descending into madness as he ran from persecution into the dark forests of Arfderydd from two rival chiefs. Myrddin had been a malevolent tyrant who through no fault of his own began to percolate farther and farther into his own insanity and away from any collective. Lilith watched his very appearance slowly transform from a skinny but capable young man into a crippled and bitter old man residing in an abandoned forest. A twinge of pity gnawed at Lilith as flashes of her own persecution during her prior human existence raced through her mind and landed on Lilith tied to the stake. She had to concentrate deeper not to lose the transmission about Merlin.

He existed somewhere in loathing, uninfluenced by the changing world around him. He festered in his own hatred toward Man, the same insolent being that damned him to the forest in the first place. His darkness swelled up within him as he grew weary of man and bitter of their ignorance. He watched the killing and studied the intrinsic evils that he believed to exist in all humans. And because he was an all-powerful sorcerer, the reason his townsfolk took notice of him and chased him into the forest before his madness grasped hold, he decided he did not want to be one of them, a human any longer.

Merlin allowed his shadow patriarch to take hold and manifest into the personification of evil as eons passed before him. He finally left his mortal frame and transformed into a black phantom of Earth's dwelling; the shadow patriarch incarnate. Legends and fables grew of Merlin the Wicked residing in the forests and harassing man from within, until the harassing turned into anguish inside man. Merlin began to take on a fantastical persona of an anti-Christ figure that floated around and fed on the evil ways of man.

As wars raged on in more and more detrimental vengeance around him and throughout history, Merlin gripped tightly to the shadow patriarch within man and continued to fuel it. He, the almighty Merlin, couldn’t even save himself.

Lilith recognized Merlin’s overarching patriarchal darkness as one both spawned by and within man, being cultivated and finessed as a transfer between Man and Merlin. It was the same darkness that burned Lilith alive at the stake during her human form. She couldn’t allow the recognition and empathy of Merlin’s martyrdom persuade her soul’s calling. I have a task to do.

A niggling sensation flowed through Lilith so powerful, that her eyes flew open to witness Merlin’s dark presence looming over her. The intellectuals had taken shelter elsewhere, but Lilith could still sense them in her mind; the time is now, Lilith.

With a mighty and powerful blow, Merlin struck right at Lilith, resulting in Lilith’s transforming and morphing mortal body to fly hard and far away. Without hesitation, Merlin rushed towards her. In a startling moment of defense, Lilith raised her arms that were now long and growing ever transparent, up into a cross in front of her. Merlin charged at her hard, which knocked him to the ground this time. Surprised, Lilith seized the opportunity and charged at

Merlin this time. They clashed in a lock as they tried to push each other with mighty vigor. Lilith felt herself growing stronger and larger, losing her mortal form, and transforming into a phantom-like state that mingled and twisted with the space gases.

Give up, little girl. You’re too weak for me, and you’re too weak to destroy man. Merlin’s telepathic message penetrated Lilith. He was also growing stronger and larger as they fought in this epic dance of the cosmos.

The red space gases began to mingle with Lilith’s transient form, manipulating the energy and ions to turn Lilith into something different entirely. Reds, oranges and yellows swirled together as the growing Lilith telepathically responded. No! You can have your men. It was never meant to be this way and will need to be renewed no matter what happens here. You’re done!

Lilith heaved Merlin high into the sky and then immediately rose to follow. The silent brewing that manifested itself in the location that Lilith had occupied, erupted within the space gases, and cast an explosion. As Lilith watched Merlin come back at her with mighty vengeance, the mixing gases told Lilith of Earth’s newest guardian, the role that she was stepping in to.

Merlin sensed Lilith’s growing distraction and transformation, and with even more energy than before rushed towards Lilith once more. This time, Lilith’s flickering and morphing body created a dissonance with Merlin’s form as their two images extracted apart and then came back together. Although Lilith was surprised at this, Merlin didn’t respond and instead issued a mighty blow to Lilith, catching her off guard and sending her out into the ethos. Merlin soared after Lilith’s unconscious and amorphous physical being, attacking her further into submission.

Farther and farther out into space they soared.

The existing colors upon the planet’s surface mixed with the astronomical red. The intellectuals saw this phenomenon as dark, red, circling skies that covered the sun. Gases mingling with ions of Lilith’s shifting mortal being, all the while Merlin ensuring Lilith’s demise as the two moved closer and closer to the sun.

After moments of what felt like millennia, the intellectuals, holding their breaths in desperation, let out collective sighs of relief as they watched the most monumental and tremendous event in Earth’s history unfold before them.

Through the gases in space emerged a large, fiery creature so colossal that it burned as brightly as the sun. The enormous beast cast a beat of its wings, which sent shockwaves through the cosmos and promised Earth a new human race that would revere the natural, sacred female energies that bonded the Universe. The intellectuals shouted with joy as burst of applauded erupted from them, despite knowing their fate. There would be no concept of time or location;

events were no longer linear, rather cyclical.

The huge bird flapped her wings and promised of Earth’s human ancestry guiding these new people a return to simplicity, a return to the holy, and a fresh start for Gaia, coexisting with each other and nature. The repetition and rebirth of Earth. Gaia, her elders, and the Universe’s

Akashic Records would pour all information, the hidden female secrets, and the denials they received, into a new Earth.

The intellectuals roared to the heavens from down on Earth, in total appreciation and gratitude of Lilith. She continued circling the skies above, gliding like molasses and shining like a phenomenal comet as she soared above. She continued to promise a cataclysmic shift in systems, structure, and collective thought. Those who remain are innocent and will foster a harmonious mindset with Earth, Mother Nature, and the Universe. Gaia, Mother Nature doesn’t need humans, they need Her.

The intellectuals began to configure themselves into a geometrical shape that Lilith, now totally an incarnate of the Phoenix, recognized to be a symbol from sacred geometry. The Egg of

Life, a simple, six-figured circle that encircles another circle the same size. The symbol to represent rebirth and new life. The symbol that Phoenix herself, represents.

From an obscure corner of the cosmos came Merlin. He tore through the stars with so much ferocity, promising never to give up his seat as the most feared and powerful force on

Earth and in that portion of the solar system. Lilith, unsuspecting, flew back with flames bursting from all around her. She took blow after blow as Merlin relentlessly attacked Lilith. His pure rage was so strong and so evil that any attempt by Lilith to defend herself was pointless. She sensed the intellectuals trying to help feed her energy. I gratitude and mustering up what little strength she had left, Lilith send the intellectuals a message. He may prevail now, but I will not demise. He cannot destroy energy as energy is infinite.

Merlin’s rage was large and hot, mixing with the red gaseous substance in an almost dance as he conquered and dominated the fight with Lilith. See, you’re just a little girl who can’t get the job done. One last hit from Merlin was all it took for Lilith to beat her wings one last time, partially conscious and barely able to control her trajectory. Her massive wings flapped and ignited in a fiery inferno. The last beat of her wings sent Lilith to her resting place within the sun.

She would take her place within the Universe as a part of Earth’s Sun, guarding her planet and watching a new era of its life grow from that location. As she settled and took her place as a new ethereal being, she knew that she would be awoken to rise and protect Gaia again one day. When, she knew not, but until then she would rest upon Sun’s photosphere until that day of judgment called her back. The day that all would end in fire from the heavens, no survivors, nothing spared.

Merlin, satisfied, turned his attention back to Gaia and the existing intellectuals. Let’s start this again, shall we?

He lowed himself back down to the Earth, the pulsing of life and rhythm already beginning to take shift.

THE NEW PATRIARCH (N.P.)

57 N.P. – Planet Earth

A new species of human occupied Gaia. Although like humans prior to the great cosmic fire, they contained an innate fear and deep anger to which they could not explain. The elders dare not speak of the renewal and devolution of the time before their current state unless absolutely sure it was safe to do so.

Merlin cast a darkness that blanketed the planet and seeped into all sentient beings. He promised of better days and prosperity for both humans and the rest of Gaia. Everyone trembled in fear, unsure of what would come next.

The intellectuals went back into hiding, quietly and desperately trying to share their message and tell the tales so that a massive forgetting didn’t happen. They would encourage the elders to share stories too, telepathically reminding them of how crucial it was to remember and listen to the whispers.

They began to create and cultivate artifacts along with their tales, leaving hints and signs for future generations to pick up and intuit. They would subtly remind humanity and future generations of the return of the Phoenix, of Lilith. She was not dead, merely resting in the sun while she awaits her return to Earth and protect Gaia.

They would tell of her rise and incarnation back into humanity. She would be one of them. When exactly in history, they did not know, but she would return during a time of great destruction right before man turns on himself and his planet once more. This would be her true moment and soul calling.

So long as Merlin was convinced that he defeated Lilith, she could take her place as the

Phoenix in the sun and rest until she was called back to complete her task.

So, she did just that. Lilith, the Phoenix bird, took deep rest and salvation in her place among the rest of the cosmos.

PART TWO: The Human Experience & The Wounded Maiden

Adding quotes here like in the first part??? To all of the Savage Girls out there:

Keep unleashing your wild woman from within.

LOSING IT

11:22 am Present Day – Long Beach, California

Lily squirmed on top the loud onion-paper sheet protecting her from the hundreds of other patients that had sat in the chair before her as the doctor looked down onto the clipboard containing her recent medical complaints.

“So,” he began, still concentrated on her documents, “you’ve been having back pain, cramping, irregular bowel movements and nausea but you know you’re not pregnant because you have had menstruation?” His stern eyes rose from behind his glasses and fixed on the clipboard before meeting hers.

Nervous, and slightly embarrassed, Lily nodded and justified his accusations with, “Yeah, but also my period’s been really weird.”

“How so?” He leaned forward in his chair and flopped open the top sheet of Lily’s medical papers, now fixed on a different set of information.

“Well,” Lily cleared her throat and the doctor looked up from leafing through her papers, she continued, “it’s been very irregular; the amount and duration of each period.”

He sat for a moment, staring through her before he rose from his chair, clipboard in hand and mumbled, “Hmmm. I’ll be right back with the test results from earlier.”

He shut the door tightly behind him and the silence filled Lily’s ears. Her right arm twitched slightly, and she looked down at her dark maroon nail polish chipping from her fingertips. She hated chipped nails but continued to pick at them anyway. There was a time and place for everything, and this was one of those times.

She’d been experiencing dull and bizarre pain for the past month and a half and at first, she thought she was pregnant, but after the erratic period indications, she knew she wasn’t. So, she wrote it all off as too much partying or not eating enough.

The doctors were the ones who insisted she go through with the ultrasound procedures to determine exactly what was happening to her. She agreed.

Lily couldn’t shake the sense of helplessness in running to the doctor's office the moment an uncomfortable feeling was discovered by the body because she had made such valiant attempts at proving herself strong and independent.

She jumped a bit when the loud knock on the door woke her from her trance,

“Um…yeah,” she replied to the knock, but the door had already begun to open.

The doctor emerged from behind the door into the sterile room and Lily could see his degree from USC hanging on the wall behind him. He was still holding the clipboard, but his expression was much softer than before.

“Ok,” he said, “I think I know what’s going on here,” he sat down and paused for a moment, starring at the new papers he received from the lab.

“Ok…” Lily analyzed his every move and breath, “is it bad?”

“Well, that’s totally up to you,” he looked back up at her on the patient’s table and prompted by her stares, continued, “you were pregnant, Lily, but you lost your baby.”

“What?!” A permanent state of shock had implemented itself in Lily and she recognized it immediately, reviving those previous and frequent moments of shock throughout her life thus far.

“Ok,” the doctor began monotonously, “you had – ”

“Yeah, yeah. I think I understand,” the questions were draining quickly from her and in defense she snatched one fast; “how?”

“Well, when a man and a woman who love each other get together – ” the doctor’s ploy at lightening the situation were set ablaze when he read Lily’s fiery stare, claiming, thanks, doc;

now you make a joke!

The doctor cleared his throat, “Sometimes, Lily, within the early stages of pregnancy, the embryo dies inside the uterus and the woman won’t know. Since you didn’t know you were even pregnant, I take it you didn’t know that you miscarried…” the doctor continued, “in the medical field we call that a ‘missed miscarriage.’”

Lily sat silent, staring at the doctor for a moment before gathering up enough courage to ask, “Well what now?”

“Well,” the doctor began, “there’s a couple of ways to deal with a situation like this. One way is to perform a Dilation and Curettage procedure to surgically remove the embryo. After the procedure (which can create major complications) I’d prescribe drugs. The second (and far more practical for a woman in your situation) would be to dispel the embryo naturally. Your body, Lily, will rid itself of the dead embryo eventually.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Lily said to herself aloud as a warm swarm of fuzzy bleakness swept over her. She took a deep breath, inhaled, and watched the doctor’s office slowly transform into a mesh of whirlwind black blurs.

The blur turned white before smearing with a stroke of green and beige. Lily watched the multi-colored smear streak its way into her vision. She finally could pick out that it was a person.

It almost looked like a girl running, running wildly with fiery blond dread locks flying behind her. Lily heard heavy panting. In her vision, this running girl looked savage, she looked fierce.

All Lily could make out was the passion behind her eyes, almost sheer terror. The rest of the image was blurred, just like the sight of the doctor's office once more...

Without realizing she had even fallen unconscious, Lily awoke to the doctor easing her down onto the patient table and calmly saying; “Lily, Lily…just lay back a minute. You’ll feel a lot better soon.” The doctor handed her a small Dixie cup filled with cold soda. “Drink this.”

Lily suddenly felt a sharp pain in lieu of this Savage Girl. She craved her back. “Oh

God,” She began to prop herself up on the patient’s table once more, and with the doctor now standing over her outstretched body, grabbed the cup from him and muttered, “thanks.”

“Well think of it this way,” he began, “you probably just experienced the worst of it.”

“True,” Lily mumbled from the edge of her Dixie cup as the cold water touched her lips.

She took a large sip of the refreshing water and her body temperature dropped.

“Better?” The doctor said routinely.

“Yeah,” Lily lied.

“Well sit tight for a little while until you’re feeling 100 percent, then you can go,” the doctor stood up and then finished with, “You don’t have to make the decision now, but let me know within the next few days which mode of action you want to take, if any.”

Lily watched the doctor, in silence, fuss about in the office for a while before he opened the door and finally walked out of the room.

PEPPERMINT GRAHAM CRACKERS

1:06 pm, Present Day – Los Angeles, California

Lily drove forcefully past the Body Shop, a very famous all-nude strip club where she worked. She kept her eyes on the road as she reminisced about how she began as merely a waitress, but from time to time was known to get pulled up on stage by one of the more daring strippers and dance.

She was good, a natural dancer. It could have been the 15 years of technical dance training, or just that she had fun doing it, but most nights that Lily danced, she would walk out of the strip club with a bundle of cash; approximately $1,000 or so.

Friends once told her that if she started stripping for real, they would go up to the stage themselves and, naked or not, pull her off by her hair. It all didn’t matter anymore because eventually Lily’s rebellion deepened, and she ended up losing touch with any real friends she had anyhow. Being somewhat of a loner paid off because now, at 20 years old, she could go anywhere and do anything without strings attached. That’s the life, isn’t it?

* * * * *

Even more of a fiery rage sat at the pit of her stomach, Graham might understand and listen.

She passed the glistening Pacific Ocean that looked as though somebody had thrown a large handful of diamonds across a blue Sahara Desert. It was a bright day, people chattering in the distance, and milling about with nothing to do but just that. She stopped her car at the red light and heard the breaks squeal a bit. This pause gave that same taunting feeling a new-found motivation and it swelled up inside Lily, forcing her to press hard on the gas petal almost immediately after the light had changed. She zoomed up the windy coastline of PCH and basked in the lazy afternoon sun through her sky-roof, consumed by her furious passion for something she did not know, reeling in angst.

She slammed the door of her Pontiac Sunfire, creating a loud echo in the University dorm parking garage before marching down the path toward Graham's graduate apartment. For a moment, Lily questioned why she chose to come to Graham's place and instantly lost her footing.

She regained control and walked with more gumption toward her ex-boyfriend’s apartment.

Three swift, loud knocks on the door were all it took before she heard someone still laughing from the last punchline of a Family Guy episode, get up off the couch and answer the door.

“Yo ‘Lil Sis!” Shouted Cody, Graham's best friend at Pepperdine University, “Where the hell have you been?!”

Lily’s pathetic attempt at a laugh was acknowledged, and Cody replied with; “He’s in his room; I’m sure he’d be stoked to see you.” He widened the door and stepped aside for her to enter.

“Thanks,” was all that Lily could muster through a grit-toothed smile and dilated pupils.

She’d had a bigger crush on Cody than Graham while she dated him months prior, and normally found it hard not flirt with him or talk too much, but this afternoon there was a buzzing around

Lily that touched everyone nearby, a magic that permeated around her uncontrollably.

Cody knew the whole time, felt the same way toward Lily even, but this afternoon there was certainly something about her that told him to lay off.

She didn’t even need to knock on Graham's door, she just rose a fist before the door cracked open and Graham appeared, telephone to ear and saying, “So yeah, Dad, golf tomorrow at 7 am. Ok, thanks, you too, Dad, bye.” Without taking his hypnotic eyes from hers, Graham clicked off the shiny portable phone and opened the door wider for Lily to enter.

“It’s nice to see you still wear that necklace,” Graham was looking down at the pinnacle, five-pointed star and Goddess emblem that she wore snug across her tan collarbone, “to what do

I owe this wonderful surprise?”

She gave an uneasy chuckle after the necklace comment and pushed past Graham into his room.

“I need to talk…to someone…and you were the only person I could think of,” Lily answered honestly as she plopped down on the edge of his tidy bed.

“Thanks?” Graham teased, closing the door behind him.

“No, listen, I’m sorry,” she began playing with a shoelace from Graham's running sneakers near the edge of his bed while she let her gaze drift down, “I just found out that I was pregnant …” for a moment she considered lying and not finishing the rest of the story: “Yeah, so

I need some money to get an abortion,” she would say, knowing that he had the money and suspecting that she might need it.

Instead, her conscience took over and she broke the heavy silence with, “… but I had a miscarriage and didn’t know it.”

He sat and just stared at her wide-eyed for a moment before stating, “Oh God, I’m so sorry!” Graham attempted the classic arm-over-the-shoulders comfort ploy and for the first time all day, Lily’s tear ducts began to swell.

“Do you know what happened?” Graham's tone moved quickly from sympathizing to counseling and suddenly Lily remembered why she was with him in the beginning; being a nearly finished psychology major gave her the sense of security with all that he knew and was learning in his graduate program.

“No, the doctor said it could’ve been a number of things,” she lied, knowing her crazy streak lended itself responsible, thriving with everything she learned, saw and experienced. She acted to subdue it until it would rear its head bigger and with more fervor. It was an addiction, and she needed her fix. It was an insatiable itch that she longed to scratch with her claw-like nails. Unintentionally, she’d yield to it over and over, damaging her potential baby as she gave in to the self-sabotage and a deep, innate knowledge within herself. A void she desperately tried to fill through various modalities. Silence was feared by Lily, and she busied herself, running from thing to thing and person to person so that her demons couldn’t find her.

“Hmmm,” Graham rubbed the dark stubble on his otherwise smooth face while gazing at a distant spot on the floor near the wall, “was it mine?” He asked without missing a beat.

“I think so,” Lily was waiting and ready for that question. She attributed some of the response to the real reason she was there, “I don’t know what to do.”

A tear finally worked its way out of Lily’s eye and rolled down her right cheek, the one facing Graham.

“Well,” Graham looked at Lily and stopped rubbing his chin, “did the doctor tell you what you could do?”

“Yeah, he just recommends that I wait because my body will pass the embryo naturally,”

she accidentally kicked the shoe under the bed, so she gave up and turned to look at Graham, who was now stark white and frozen, “you ok?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he shook his head slightly and replied, “I just didn’t know that could happen.”

“Tell me about it!” Lily attempted to comfort Graham and was happy that she had regained some form of power in this awkward situation, “I passed out when the doctor told me.”

“No way, right there in the doctor’s office?!” Graham's face was returning to a normal shade of pink as a tiny smirk spread across his mouth, “I’m surprised they let you go.”

“Ha ha,” Lily began defensively, staring at the growing grin on Graham's face, “it was very startling news!”

“I know, I know,” Graham regarded her tension and scooted behind Lily to rub her back while attempting to stifle any form of laughter, chuckling or the like.

“Fuck you!” Lily jumped off this bed and turned to face him with her hands sternly placed on her hips, “I came here 'cause I thought you’d be supportive,” her hands were now placed on her sternum, gesturing in a form of sincerity.

“I’m sorry,” Graham was psychologist-serious once more as he rose off the bed, walked over to Lily and grabbed her right hand, “let’s get out of here.”

VENICE BEACH VICES

4:56 pm, Present Day – Venice Beach, California

“Sweet Child of Mine” blared in the background while the Pontiac Sunfire flew south down PCH. This time, headed for Venice Beach, Santa Monica. The early evening glow of the sun lit everything in plain sight an orangey hue as the car made its way into the last available parking spot.

“I can’t believe how much they charge for parking here!” Lily relayed her disbelief and focused on what she was saying as she struggled with her seatbelt and stared aimlessly out the windshield, “tourist season, I guess.”

“Yeah, no problem I got it,” Graham was sorting through the $300 plus bills that Lily caught a glimpse of through the corner of her eye. He pulled out a Twenty.

What the hell is he doing with that kind of money on him? Lily thought in a split second.

“Come on, you ready?” Graham slammed his wallet shut and threw Lily’s thoughts back into the large cloud of miscarriage that had been following her around all day.

“Yeah, let’s go,” she opened the driver’s door, climbed out of the car, and slammed it shut behind her. Graham was already making his way towards the parking attendant and Lily had the sudden urge to run; run far and fast and never look back. Despite that, she forced her right foot to take a step forward, then her left, and before she knew it, she was rhythmically walking up to

Graham and the grungy parking lot attendant.

“… ok but since we’re only going to be here for a half day, I think it’s only fair that we pay half price,” Graham haggled.

“No, no … no good,” the foreign man refused, his accent hard to place, “you pay all parking, or no park!”

“Fuck it,” Graham slapped the man’s hand reluctantly with the 20-dollar-bill he had waiting tightly in his palm.

“Ok, I get change,” the man unzipped a blue bank deposit bag and ruffled through some bills as Graham shot a sarcastically smug look at Lily. She caught his eye and forced a smile back, all the while I-have-a-dead-baby-stuck-inside-me consumed her thoughts. She suddenly felt ill but was jerked from her downward daydream by Graham's grip, “Snap out of it, will ya?

It’ll be ok, just stop dwelling on it.”

Easy for you to say! Lily thought. They made their way through the large driveway and toward the Venice strip.

As they approached Windward Circle, they had agreed to lunch at Galy's Mediterranean.

They had a special connection with Mediterranean food ever since the first time they ate it together in Santa Monica. It was Lily’s first time eating Mediterranean food and their second date.

She suddenly realized this would be the first thing she’s eaten all day as they sauntered the sandy cemented strip, stopping occasionally to pick through some clothes, sunglasses and shoes at the outdoor markets. They made small talk under the orange heat of Southern

California’s sun and made a brief attempt at superficially catching up on the past. The glimmer of the blue ocean drew skaters of all types to this beach and Lily caught various intense smells of burning incense. She breathed it in deeply, and then let it out with a deep exhale.

“See, I can tell you’re feeling better already,” smirked Graham. Lily ignored the comment but was reminded that he was still the same self-centered and ego-driven 23-year-old she broke up with four months ago.

He was a recovering alcoholic, so he blamed all his wrong-doings and misfortunes on this vice. He knew “everyone” in Hollywood and harbored a mysterious and enchanting aura about him. With his jet-black hair, light skin and light blue eyes, he was a cross between Prince

Charming and a vampire.

Now, he looked and talked like an ex-Mob member, at least that’s the image he tried to portray to the world.

“It’s really hard to be in public like this and not look around suspiciously at everyone and everything,” Graham rambled, now shirtless and scanning the events of the strip, “God it’s hot!”

“Yeah,” Lily was programmed for auto-respond as they walked past a pizza window blaring the latest Sean Paul song as the inhabitants sang ungracefully and made crude gestures toward all whom walked by.

“Alright,” Graham suddenly stopped, “ready to eat?”

Lily was in such a different place within her own mind, that she didn’t even notice they had reached the restaurant. “Absolutely,” she smiled slightly as Graham opened the door to

Galy's Mediterranean.

“Still takeaway, right?” He asked as she ducked under his arm holding open the door.

“Yup,” she looked up at him as she made her way past. Oh God I hope he doesn’t think there’s still something between us, she thought, smelling his Old Spice deodorant as she moved past.

They made their way to the bored man staring at them from the cash register.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” The man asked completely uninterested in what he was saying.

“Uh … two falafels please,” Graham commanded, “to-go.”

“Alright,” the man disappeared behind a Chinese partition into the kitchen.

He returned a few silent minutes later to Lily and Graham sitting wearily at a table by the large window in the front. Two steaming plates stacked with large falafels in pita bread perfumed the air and Lily felt her stomach turn tricks.

“Alright,” Graham was taking out his wallet as he made his way around the other tables toward the cash register, “how much?”

Lily stayed at the table, dazing out the enormous window at the mass of people herding past and a couple playing Frisbee behind a palm tree that a group of teenage boys were skateboarding in front of.

Graham passed Lily and stood in front of the table, “let’s eat outside.”

“Sounds good,” Lily enjoyed the thought of the hot Venice afternoon sun on her bare shoulders. She hurried a bit before Graham to hold the door open for him as he carried their food outside and onto the strip.

They found a shady spot under the same palm tree Lilly stared at just minutes ago and sat down. Graham held out his wallet to Lily and asked her with complete sincerity to keep it in her purse so it would stop digging into his ass cheek. She laughed and they discussed how hungry they were while paying heed to the relaxing orange glow and Angel incense that wafted past them and mingled in the air with their falafels.

Although a slight heaviness loomed in the air, Lily felt her muscles loosen as she let out a slow exhale. Right then things were calm, so she basked in it and took advantage of the little vacation of peace that floated through the moment. The unsettling tickle subsided for the first time all day as she enjoyed every bite while chatting with Graham.

They were discussing potential tattoos after watching a large shirtless, and extremely bronzed middle-aged man with various tribal tattoos across his chest, chug a beer then waddle to the garbage can and throw it away.

Graham wanted a tribal, armband, but wasn’t sure exactly what.

“Well, you sure as hell have the arms for it,” Lily blurted, realizing how it sounded after she had said it, “I mean, you’re not too skinny or meaty so it won’t look like you’re trying to show off or pretend you’re something you’re not.” Whew! Nice save.

“Yeah,” Graham was looking down at his flexing left bicep, “I mean I really want a tattoo; I just wish I knew what I wanted!”

“What about something like this …” Lily was laying flat on her stomach now, propped on her elbows and finishing a doodle she had started while Graham went on about the placement of his imaginary tattoo. “Well … it’s kinda girlie, but …”

She held up the Bank of America receipt in front of the sun under the shade of the palm tree just at arm’s reach, “Actually, I really like this!”

Graham politely took the paper from her and still stretched with his legs crossed, placed it next to the empty paper plate on the grass. “Yeah, its really cool but kinda girlie. You should get it.”

Lily had designed a tattoo almost identical to the swirly, viney drawing that lay next to

Graham about a month ago, claiming to get it inked on her left wrist. She used to doodle this image while in high school not paying attention to her teachers.

“Yeah, I was thinking about it,” she kept her eyes proudly fixed on her own drawing.

“I have an idea,” Graham's eyes lit up and Lily noticed they were no longer transfixed on her image, “how much money do you have in your account?”

“Excuse me?!”

“Never mind, it won’t be too much,” Graham was stuck to some kind of idea.

“Would you like to share with me what’s going on inside that head of yours?” Lily inquired.

“We’re going to get matching tattoos tonight,” Graham informed.

“Oh, are we?!” Lily searched Graham's face for signs of uncertainty, but he was dead serious.

“Are you ready?” His hypnotic blue eyes now looked like a stormy sea of chaos.

“I guess …” Lily vacantly replied.

HOLLYWOOD SUNSETS

7:10 pm, Present Day – Sunset Boulevard, California

“Are you ready?” Graham waited until Lily had parked the car in the metered spot right in front of Shamrock Tattoo on Sunset to ask the question.

“Hey, I’m not necessarily the one who’s getting the tattoo here, am I?” Lily knew the uncertainty had leaked out, so she added, “plus, I’ve already got a huge fairy on my back, and I always said the next one I’m getting is after my next big dance thing; a dancer on the back of my neck.”

Lily had been saying this ever since she performed in the 2003 Super Bowl and realized that her love for the all-encompassing art of dance was justified through talent as well. She didn’t stop there, after the Super Bowl came NBA and then a successful teaching career at a very popular gym across California. There, she could appease her alter-ego as a serious dance teacher.

Last year, she drew over 50 members per class, making the gym employees very happy. Despite her evident dance success, she felt she could do better and hadn’t bothered to get her dancer tattoo yet.

“Right…” Graham added condescending. “How long have you been saying that? If you’re not into it, we don’t have to do it.”

That’s it. Lily smiled at Graham before she opened the driver’s door and jogged around the front of the car to the sidewalk awaiting Graham.

He jogged after her into the customer-free tattoo parlor as the lack of people milling about the dusk-ridden Sunset Boulevard was a giveaway into Sunday evening.

“Hey,” said a sleepy-eyed man from behind the counter as Lily and Graham made their way through the Irish-themed tattoo parlor, “What can I do for you?”

There was a total of four men in the shop, all friends and all employees.

“He’d like to get a tattoo of something,” Lily announced loudly. The sleepy-eyed worker laughed as Graham shot Lily a fearful look.

“Do you know what you want?” The worker asked Graham.

“Well … kinda. I know I want it to be like a tribal tattoo…” Graham was now reaching for the art portfolio in front of him.

“Ok …” the man gave in response, “what about you?” He asked Lily, looking down at her hands and noticing her fiddling with a small bank receipt.

She followed his gaze down and unopened the folded piece of paper. “I don’t know, I just designed this, and was thinking for my left wrist.”

“Ok, ok … I think I can work with this,” his gaze now turned to Graham fumbling through the tattoo portfolio, “how about I do her first because I know I can please her faster.”

Graham's attention immediately jumped from the tattoo book to the man. “Sure,” he gave an uneasy look toward the man’s back as he turned to leave the counter and escort Lily to the tattoo chair.

“By the way, my name’s Paul,” the man was now holding Lily’s hand and leading her down to the tattoo area while looking slightly over his left shoulder back at Graham. Lily felt

Graham's dumbfounded stare. Ha ha …

“Ok, have a seat darling and we’ll see what I can do with this drawing,” Paul took the slip of paper from Lily and set it down on his workstation.

She noticed Graham flipping more loudly through the tattooed portfolio and from the tattoo chair she swore she could see him pouting.

A couple of slow hours rolled by as Paul made it more and more evident that something was a bit off. Lily felt the sweat start to well up on her face.

She only had one tattoo, sure, but she knew what Paul had been doing for the past two hours was not normal, or even allowed.

Instead of creating a sketch on wax paper and then merely transferring the image onto

Lily’s wrist, Paul was freelancing with a highlighter and blue Bic pen what he wanted the tattoo to look like in its position on Lily’s wrist. She had been staring silently at him draw a half-inch line, erase it, then draw the exact same line for nearly two hours. Meanwhile, Graham continued to meander around the parlor.

“Cool, I’ve almost got the drawing done,” Paul revved, “you’re going to be the only one in Hollywood with this tattoo; so original!”

Lily smiled weakly and glanced over at Graham who was now chatting with the workers, changing the music and calling friends.

Although Graham had finally decided on an extremely ordinary tribal band around the left bicep, Lily was beginning to realize that the window of time for him to get this tattoo the same day was narrowing rapidly. And I didn’t even want the tattoo in the beginning! She thought, fucking irony.

“Viola!” Paul declared proudly, “the hard part’s done, now let’s make the tattoo.”

Lily looked down at the yellow and orange smear marks stained with blue ink in a pretty vine-like pattern on her wrist. It’s too late now, Lily, she told herself, you either get the tattoo and pay, or don’t get the tattoo and pay.

“Let’s do it,” she faked enthusiasm.

Paul was already scooting away from Lily on his roller-chair toward the workstation. She watched sleepy-eyed Paul mixing the ink together as it dawned on her that he wasn’t sleepy-eyed at all, he was as high as a kite.

* * * * *

“Absolutely beautiful,” Paul stated extremely proud and startling Lily enough to jump away from the separation she’d been leaning against while he tattooed her wrist. She didn’t even notice the buzzing of the ink machine had stopped.

“Wow!” She heard her own startled reaction aloud at the truly pretty and delicate tattoo that was now permanently fixed on her wrist, “I love it!”

She looked up at Paul who was smiling knowingly, still stoned.

“How’d it turn out?” Graham appeared from somewhere near the front of the shop and

Lily noticed the doors were shut with the Open sign facing inward.

“Great,” Paul took the liberty in answering that question. He rolled away from Lily and started fussing with the ink and needle at his workstation.

“Wow, that’s really cool,” Graham stepped down into the tattooing area and reached out to take Lily’s wrist for closer examination.

She willingly gave up her wrist to Graham at the same time remembering that she left her purse in the car outside. I don’t even know if I have enough in my wallet for this! She hadn’t expected the tattoo to take this long, cost this much or let alone to get a tattoo.

As if reading her mind, Paul decided to casually mention payment; “Since it took a little longer to design, it’ll be a little more expensive.”

“How much more expensive?” Lily feared the response.

“$250,” Paul said flatly.

Graham looked up at Lily, wide-eyed and still holding her wrist which now harbored the feminine black wristband, “do you have that much on you?” He whispered, blatantly implying that she’d been overcharged.

“Kinda,” she whispered back in agreement, “I have to go to the ATM.”

“No problem,” Paul was standing right behind Lily and Graham now, eavesdropping,

“just leave him here for collateral.”

Everyone forced an uncomfortable laugh.

“I’m so sorry,” Lily excused herself from Graham and Paul and made her way up to the front of the shop, past the clovers, dice and images of vintage alcohol bottles on the walls. The shop looked more like an Irish pub than a tattoo parlor.

She heard more men enter the tattoo area of the shop behind her. They entered from behind the partition she’d been leaning on for over an hour and started to talk to Paul and

Graham, who appeared to have forgotten about Lily leaving the shop.

She took her keys out from her jeans pocket and crossed behind the bubble-butt of her

Sunfire. Every time she looked at the round rear of the car, “Baby Got Back” played its chorus in her mind.

She unlocked the driver’s door, slid in the seat, closed the door, looked through the passenger’s window and through the half-closed blinds of the tattoo shop, and saw the five men slowly moving among the stereo, front desk and Paul’s workstation. They paid absolutely no notice to Lily, and she felt her stomach rise and her heart sink.

Without thinking twice about what she was doing and embracing the adrenaline that was rising in her and pumping through her veins, she started the ignition of the car and peeled away into the temporary vast abyss that was Sunset Boulevard, not once looking back.

BIG BONNIE

10:37 pm, Present Day – Hollywood, California

“Oh God, what have I done?” Lily said aloud as she raced to the next streetlight.

She knew it was too late, whatever she’d done, it was too late.

The light turned red, and the night fell silent except the song “Maneater” by Nelly

Furtado that blasted on her stereo. The irony!

The rest of the cars behind Lily finally caught up and she watched their headlights slow to a stop behind her through the rear-view mirror, half expecting revolving red, white and blue lights on the top of one of the cars to begin blaring up. It didn’t.

Her light turned green and in a slight panic that she knew would transform into something far worse, she swung the first right turn she could find and pulled over under a lamp on an anonymous dark street.

Grudgingly, she reached for her purse that was stuffed under the passenger seat and heaved it into the center console. She knew she was going to find missed calls on her cell phone, but how many and how long after she had left?

She dug around blindly before feeling something foreign, thick and stiff. What the…?

She pulled out Graham's black leather wallet with a fervor of excitement and anticipation.

Yesssss!

Lily had completely forgotten but now recalled basking and eating falafels under the shade of a palm tree on a random grassy knoll of Venice Beach amid hundreds of beachgoers.

Graham had unwittingly handed over his wallet to her for safe keeping. Haha!

Now Lily felt like she had committed a crime. Her first reaction and instinct were to turn right around and give Graham's wallet back. She hadn’t meant to rob anybody!

She gently opened the wallet, and there, neatly aligned and crisply new, were four $1 bills, three $5 bills, eight $10 bills, six $20 bills and one $100 bill. She closed the wallet back up with an automatic nature and let it lay motionless in her palm. What was Graham doing with this much cash on him?

Her only rational answer to that question was the lie that Graham had wanted her to believe about him being associated with the mob. No way…Lily thought in disbelief, scanning the barren streets cautiously.

As she once again stared at the closed wallet, a devilishly greedy scheme crossed her mind. As if the $319 weren’t enough, she hastily realized that she could easily access more. She forced this plan out of her mind as quickly as it had entered.

There’s no way I can steal money from Graham like this! She tried talking herself out of the idea.

Once she had forced the thought out of her mind as much as possible, she turned on her ignition and pulled away from the curb, driving straight down the desolate Tamarind Avenue and far away from Sunset Boulevard.

* * * * *

Moment of truth, Lils. She stayed in the parked car long enough to allow the excitement of what she was about to do reel her out of the car and into motion.

She locked and slammed the door behind her as she made her way across a momentary break in cars on the busy Santa Monica Boulevard. She couldn’t help but nervously glance over her shoulders once in a while.

Lily was approaching a Bank of American ATM machine fast but not fast enough. She felt as though she would never get there; it just kept slipping past her reach.

She soon realized that she was lightly jogging and slowed to fast walk as the ATM machine drew within feet. Lily hadn’t been this excited to use a BofA machine since the

Christmas she received her first ATM card.

Without anyone nearby, she slipped the ATM card into the machine anxiously.

The usual window popped up and immediately asked for her 4-digit pass code.

Oh God I know this! Lily was beginning to seize with both excitement and panic as she typed in the 4-digit code that Graham had told her four months prior when she was asked to do him a “huge favor” and withdrawal his rent money for that month so he wouldn’t be late and must pay the late fee. He had class until 5 pm then worked until closing at the local Starbucks on the day rent was due.

Lily followed his directions with no problems and no realization that four months later she’d be using the exact same code to retract money for her own benefits from the same bank account.

Access was granted and she felt the surge of adrenaline as she typed in $300.

Moments later the machine spat the money out and Lily grabbed it, nervously looking around again.

She tucked the money into her jeans pocket and dashed back across the street’s island to her car. After Lily got into the safety of her car once more, she knew the destination of her next move.

She flared the ignition and rubbed the pinnacle that hung around her neck between her thumb and forefinger before heading off to her next direction.

During the entire drive to Literati 2 Internet cafe, Lily embraced her bond with Selene, the original Moon Goddess. Every so often she would go to Sunset Beach near her house and talk with an unnamed force. She couldn't determine who she was talking to, but she knew they were listening. She felt strangely connected to the moon, and this force was enhanced on nights when the moon was out, large and bright.

Lily took one last glimpse at her white-lit moon and the goddess that watched her perched from it. There was something different about tonight, a vague familiarity that lingered in the crips night air. She paused, embracing this feeling that settled and stilled her core. Was this a déjà vu? It felt larger and more colossal than a simple been-here-done-that vibe; it was a deep, deep remembering and knowing that dwelled in her soul. This same feeling that wafted over her from time to time, begging her to venture down the rabbit hole and explore more of her depths and always promising an eerie connection to all of life. That is, until Lily would get scared and shake off the feeling.

She shuddered before parking the car once more, releasing her from her moonstruck trance, and counted the thick stack of dollars that were now occupying her wallet. Lily finally opened the door to get out.

She wanted to break into a sprint as she approached Literati 2 and opened the large glass door. She did the ritual; tell the young gamer that she wanted to use the Internet for a few minutes, get directed to a computer station, and take a seat at that computer.

Immediately she noticed that the worker could sense her excitement, so she decided to sit at the computer desk, breath, and mellow out.

Lily calmly clicked the Internet symbol on the screen and performed a Google search for the soonest plane ticket to Spain.

* * * * *

“Thanks!” She had just finished paying the Internet café employee as she made her way down Wilshire. That was too easy! She thought as she walked with little remorse. At least I paid for the service this time.

Graham didn’t just have an ATM card in his wallet, but a fully charged credit card in addition to his Social Security card. Lily had access to it all. The idea of Flamenco dancing, seeing Segovia's Fairytale Castle and running through Galicia's green hills floated easily through

Lily’s mind.

Now for damage control.

She reached in her purse, this time feeling exactly what she had expected, her solid folded cell phone. Lily began to dial the customer service number on the back of the ATM card she used about 40 minutes ago.

The nice lady who picked up the phone required various bits of authorization from which

Lily donned with ease. The lady then sent her condolences through the telephone wire and promised that the money which had just been withdrawn from the account would be refunded in full. They laughed about Lily’s parents naming her Graham, and then they ended the call.

With Social Security card still out, Lily made the second call. She dialed the customer service number on the back of Graham's credit card and gave the same sad story to that operator.

They laughed at Lily’s fake name just like the last call.

She got the plane ticket to the Sa Barcelona Airport–El Prat Airport reimbursed, and the promise of a brand-new card in the mail within the business week. When Lily was finished speaking with both extremely nice and helpful customer service departments over the phone, she decided to cut Graham's cards in half and walk to the nearest public trash can for disposal. You know what, I did good. Positive karma reinstated!

Lily wasn’t the least bit phased that she just got away with a purchasing heist for a 10- hour airplane ticket two days from now at 9:05 pm from lastminute.com Barcelona-bound, and

“borrowing” a fat chunk of money from Graham's stolen ATM card, in addition to the chunk that was already in his wallet. What was better was that she suddenly remembered another source of untapped money from a shadow masculine product of the patriarchy.

The long drive to Graham's place earlier that day past the strip club, had reminded her that a paycheck was waiting for her. The Bodyshop’s definition of a paycheck was a 100-dollar check per month that constituted legal employment of their cocktail waitresses. The owner’s reasoning for this was that the waitresses walked out nightly with nearly as much as the actual dancers, and that’s where the real money was earned. Plus, if the waitresses were paid mostly with tips, then the incentive to serve customers and work with extra zeal would suffice as motivation.

Lily looked down the long strip of Sunset Boulevard beginning its rituals for the night as midnight crept closer and closer and began her walking descent toward the more popular part of

Sunset. She couldn’t help but ponder the outcome of her recent actions and found herself torn between slight pity for Graham and an unfamiliar sense of feminine power rising within her that pulsed strongly through her veins. There was an empowerment and vigor in allowing her inner goddess and intuition take the lead. And so, she let it lead.

It’s not like I took any money from him for real, Lily’s conditioned patriarchal brain validated. It’s just the card companies, and we know they have enough to go around. Rest in solace with that; not men in total, but the structure that men have made. A deep remembering clambered up and wove its way through Lily’s spine, promising her a serene peace and answer to all soon, but not now. Stoned Paul must be freaking out by now, Lily gave a sly smile, the fucking patriarch.

SUGARHIGH STRIP CLUB

11:23 pm, Present Day – The Bodyshop on Sunset Boulevard, California

Lily screeched the Pontiac to a stop in the middle of a discreet one-way street that spawned from Sunset Boulevard. An old Mexican man stepped over to the car window, nodded and opened her door.

Lily got out of the car and a rush of adrenalin pumped through her body once more as she thought of never having to deal with the Friday and Saturday night traffic along Sunset anymore.

She gave a quick smile and recognition to the salutation of humiliation she once endured, strutting up and down the Strip and passing out fliers to the strip club; being physically harassed by horny and drunk tourists; and especially the ones that came into the club on the nights that she waitressed, making her nights that much longer. Probably the worst of the bunch were the arrogant famous men. A charge of adrenaline pulsed through her body and sent tingles throughout her cells.

She heard her car loudly pull into the private staff parking lot of the Bodyshop behind her while she made her way toward Sunset and then turned right into the strip club.

As soon as she stepped in front of the doorman, he blurted out, “Lily! When are we gonna elope?!”

“I already told you, Chris, next winter.” she disappeared through the threshold of the club as quickly as if she'd entered through a parallel realm. Three different sets of naked women writhed and slid down their poles at the end of three dimly lit runways. This was a particularly slow Monday as a total of ten solemn men, two bored waitresses and a gaggle of half-dressed strippers roamed the goth-rock strip club.

“Hey baby! My Lily flower!” Lily felt a pair of feminine hands grab her sides, right where she felt the most self-conscious. She jumped slightly before turning around to see Ecstasy, the most popular and talented stripper at the Bodyshop.

“Oh my god, hey!” Lily couldn't recall the last time she'd seen Ecstasy, “Are you working tonight?”

“Supposed to but it's so dead in here! What are you doing?” Ecstasy had a nervousness about her that made Lily flinch with empathy. She felt a sudden urge for cocaine pulse through her body as the familiar face and setting began to lure her in.

For Christ’s sake, Lily, you' have a dead baby stuck in you. Your body's had enough!

“Um, yeah...I can see that.” Behind Ecstasy, Lily could see two giggling strippers, each staking claim at a slightly drunk patron's arm. Without taking her eyes off this, Lily asked;

“Where's Sam?”

“He's in the back – are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Lily quickly darted her eyes back to Ecstasy, “Long week.”

“I have just the thing.” Before Lily could protest Ecstasy was grabbing her wrist and dragging her toward the strippers' dressing room.

Paycheck?!

Lily's head was ringing with doubt and guilt while Ecstasy pushed open the door to the dressing room with force. She marched up the stairs and straight through the scattered and chattering strippers who waited on deck, adding last touches to their makeup, all the while maintaining her tight grasp around Lily's wrist.

Once they finally stopped at what Lily guessed was Ecstasy's station, she could only smile.

“God, I've missed you!” Ecstasy hesitated a moment, staring Lily straight in the eyes before unzipping her Le Sport Sac makeup case that contained a clear bullet along with a small zip-lock baggy of white powder. “Where have you been lately?”

Lily decided to lie: “You wouldn't believe how busy I've been!”

“Right, well here!” Ecstasy shoved the cocaine paraphernalia in Lily’s face. Set on auto drive, she took the bullet, put the top of the already-opened container to her nostril and inhaled as fast and hard as she could.

She felt the burn tear through her right nostril and itch as she smiled and handed it back to Ecstasy.

Ecstasy looked down at the empty bullet and solely with her eyes back up to Lily as a deviant smile crossed her face from ear to ear. She took the bullet to fill it up with the euphoric white powder once more.

Without a word they shared the drug for a little over 15 minutes before Ecstasy took

Lily's hand and without a word let her back down the way they came.

The strippers getting ready for their shows under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the dressing room amid feather boas and glitter, passed by Lily like a bolt of lightning. She didn't think, she couldn't. Ecstasy and Lily just moved forward; moved forward and down the stairs passing the chattering dancers and bright lights. The stench of Very Irresistible infested the air.

Ecstasy looked back at Lily over her shoulder and flashed a toothy smile in which she swore she heard a small giggle. Ecstasy's bright blond hair and perfectly structured makeup glowed with the energy of backstage. Everything began to smear together along Lily's peripherals and Ecstasy's white, gleaming smile was all she could see. Lily felt herself getting moist.

They pushed through the double doors of the dressing room and out onto the red-lit and dreary showroom. Lily looked over her shoulder as they passed by the two main poles being occupied by two very uninhibited dancers. Tool's “Sober” blared in the background and Lily couldn't help but notice that each step her and Ecstasy took toward the lap dance room perfectly coordinated with the beats in the music. They marched in front of both stages while nobody paid them any mind.

All eyes are on us, Lily quietly smiled.

They made it to the lap dance room in seconds that felt like hours. Every stripper, waitress and bodyguard that was manning that station was gathered in small clusters and scattered all around the sign-in desk, leaving a large empty pathway that Ecstasy and Lily used without any paid notice to enter the back portion of the room filled with small cubicles. Ecstasy didn't even wait to enter one of the cubicles before she whipped around and grabbed Lily by the back of the head. She pulled her close and Lily felt the softness of Ecstasy's lips press against hers. She smelled like vanilla.

It had been so long since Lily had been with Ecstasy that butterflies immediately set in as soon as she had turned around and smiled in the dressing room.

She felt a hand run through her hair and guide her head gently to the right. Lily fell into

Ecstasy more and their lips pressed harder together. She felt herself grow excited and her hands move up Ecstasy's sides. Her hands made their way up Ecstasy's shirt and over the back of her bra. Ecstasy moaned then shoved Lily into the nearest empty cubicle under a very dim blue light.

There was a small, cushioned bench on one of the walls and Ecstasy sternly placed her kneelength leather boot on it for support before she ran her hands up Lily's responding body and under her clothes.

First, she took off Lily's shirt, then the bra, exposing her erect nipples. Ecstasy pulled away from Lily for a moment to peek at her victory. The moment passed and she pushed Lily back against the wall once more with one hand cupped to her breast the whole time. Lily melted against the soft wall. She reached down into Ecstasy's tight black lace bloomers and into a soft, moist spot. Slowly and gently, she rubbed Ecstasy's clit with her middle finger, sliding it front and back while Ecstasy's pelvis rotated with her, and eventually making her way inside.

It was warm and moist, and Lily loved it. Almost on cue, Ecstasy slid her hands down

Lily's side, over her round butt and back to her lower stomach. Under her Juicy Couture jeans and through the side of her silk thong, Lily felt Ecstasy now slowly and sensually rubbing her, moist and wet. They both rocked slowly to the same rhythm that grew a bit harder and a bit wetter.

Once in a while Lily would feel her breast being grasped by Ecstasy and her response with more wetness and thrust.

They continued like this for a coke-induced eternity until Ecstasy began moaning again, this time more intense and deliberate. Lily eagerly sped up her rubbing, moving in and out and in the process, grew close to an orgasm herself.

Damn, she thought, that'd be awesome if we had an orgasm at the same time.

Before she knew it, Ecstasy's pre-orgasm behavior triggered something in Lily and she let herself go in the moment, feeling Ecstasy's touch and her erection.

They moaned and humped, faster, harder then faster again. Suddenly, a small explosion happened as they both desperately reached for one another. In a sweaty embrace they held each other, their writing bodies as close as they could possibly be, breasts smashing into breasts.

Still inside one another, Ecstasy grabbed Lily by the back of the head once more and softly kissed her forehead.

Lily slid into her and slightly lifted her right cheek onto Ecstasy's. She was soft as Lily moved Ecstasy's silky hair behind her ear, “Come with me,” Lily whispered.

“What?” Ecstasy ever-so subtly pulled back from Lily, just enough so they met eye-toeye amid a post-orgasmic vaginal muscle pulse they shared.

“Come with me,” Lily repeated. “I'm leaving in a couple days...you should come.” She felt herself breathing heavily from the session they just had.

“Where?” Ecstasy pressed back against Lily's cheek.

“Europe...”

“You're going to Europe...why!?” Ecstasy pulled away from Lily enough now to meet a serious eye-contact with distance. Their hands exited each other as they slowly disassembled the connection they just had.

“Uh...” Lily couldn't think fast enough, “I...uh...got into a little trouble.”

This time, Ecstasy smiled. “I know trouble.”

“Oh my god come with me!” Lily blurted again with more deliberate enthusiasm.

“I – ” Lily could see the wheels churning in Ecstasy's head as she held her breath within their static energetic embrace, unsure if she wanted the answer to be a yes or a no. “OK,”

Ecstasy finally replied after several silent and slightly awkward moments.

Lily exhaled in relief to her surprise, and grabbed Ecstasy by the wrist, “We need money.”

* * * * *

“How—”

“Our paychecks,” Lily was already pulling Ecstasy out of the lap dance room and onto the main floor as Ecstasy struggled to rearrange her lace bloomers.

“God, Lils!” Ecstasy shouted as Lily realized how frantic she had become. She released

Ecstasy's wrist, “Where the hell's the fire?!”

“Sorry. Something I forgot to tell you was why I'm in trouble,” Lily began, “I, uh, stole

Graham's wallet and left him in a tattoo parlor without paying for my tattoo.” She held up her wrist and raised her manicured eyebrows while a heavy silence fell upon them in the lap dance room.

“Yeah, that was also like two hours ago down the street,” Lily broke the silence.

“Holy shit!” Ecstasy ran up to Lily until she was mere inches away from her face, “Let's get the hell out of here then!”

In the same manner they entered, Ecstasy dragged Lily out of the lap dance area and into the back office where the paychecks were guarded by the perverted old Russian men who ran the

Bodyshop, and who Lily was convinced were the members of a mafia ring. Suddenly, Ecstasy stopped dead in her tracks as Lily nearly collided with her.

“Hey Sweet Cheeks, what's the rush?” Lily peeked around Ecstasy's shoulder to see one of the regulars, a famous plastic surgeon in Hollywood that always asked for a lap dance only from Ecstasy. He paid her well and Lily could see a potential obstacle in the making.

Ecstasy, in all her fury, had run right into Dr. Abbot and was now searching for the words to turn his proposal down even before he made it. There was a large reluctance coming from

Ecstasy as Lily felt her grip on her wrist loosen slightly.

“Uh, hey!” Lily stepped to the side of Ecstasy and gave Dr. Abbot a little wave.

“Oh, hello dear,” he replied, a bit irritable. “Have you given that lip augmentation a second thought? Remember, I'll give you a discount...”

Lily cleared her throat. “I'm so sorry, Ecstasy and I were about to go get our paychecks.

I'll have her back to you in no time though, I promise!”

“I'll be waiting,” Dr. Abbot had barely enough time to shout after the two as they scurried the rest of the way to the office.

“Lily! What are you doing?! You know I'll get in so much trouble if they find out I turned him down,” Ecstasy pulled her arm away from Lily, “Plus, you know he'll pay...”

God! The damn door's right there!

Lily looked over her shoulder at the double red velvet panels that led into the back office, then back at Ecstasy. “Who cares what these weirdos think, you're leaving anyway!”

It was only a split second, but Lily noticed that Ecstasy's face looked slightly shocked when she had said that. Moments later, Ecstasy walked back up to Lily and, still walking, said,

“Yeah, you're right. Let's go.”

She didn't mean it and Lily knew that, but she couldn't worry about that now. She just needed to get out of there!

They pushed the doors open and startled five men dressed in suits sitting and standing near a table in the messy office.

“Hello ladies,” one of the sitting men facing Lily and Ecstasy took a large cigar that matched the color of his suit out of his mouth to greet them. With a thick Russian accent, he asked “What can we do for you?”

“We need to pick up our paychecks.”

“Shouldn't you ladies be out there working right now?” A man dressed in all black was leaning against a tall bookshelf that held a mini television as he directed this question at them.

Lily had seen him from time to time, but they were never introduced, although that didn't seem to stop him from pitching in his two cents and visibly scanning her up and down.

“There's no customers and I'm not even on duty tonight,” Lily snapped back at the man.

Every time she wanted her paycheck she had to jump through hoops for these men, that night was no different.

“Why should we give you check now, beautiful?” Joe, the largest of men in the room, wore a beige soot and had white hair. He stood up and began to walk over to Lily, “Once I give you your paycheck, you'll just leave us.”

His accent seemed more robust than usual, and although he was simply teasing her, Lily welled up with angst and resentment at yet another obstacle keeping her from fleeing Los

Angeles. Before she could even reply to Joe's crudeness, the door slammed open and in walked

Chris shouting Ecstasy's name.

Ecstasy spun around in shock and met Chris's eyes.

“Why is Dr. Abbot out there saying you turned him down for a lap dance?! If you don't make money, we don't make money, and that man is one of our best customers!” Chris grabbed

Ecstasy forcefully by the arm and pulled her toward him, but before Lily could come to her friend's aid, Joe snuck up behind her and was now rubbing her paycheck along the backside of her arm.

“What – ” Lily spun around to see Joe with a huge grin across his face and holding the envelope in his chubby little hands. His comb-over was in disarray at what Lily immediately thought was from an encounter with one of his strippers of whom he probably paid very well in cash or drugs. “Can I please have that.”

He pulled it up from Lily's grip and she felt the envelope slip through her fingers while an aggressive conversation was occurring behind her near the door. Ecstasy was starting to get feisty with Chris, she absolutely hated when men grabbed her the way he did, but Lily couldn't hear exactly what they were talking about over all the commotion that had stirred up in the room since Chris entered. She was currently preoccupied with obtaining her check.

“Oh, come on, Joe. Give me the damn check!” Lily fished for the check that was waving wilding in the air as Joe condescendingly teased her with it like she was a child, and he had a piece of candy. She was tempted to just knee him in the balls and take the money while he dropped to the floor, grab Ecstasy, and run.

She stopped fishing, there was no use. “What do I have to do to get my check? I need it right now; I have no money.”

Like saying that will help!

The two men who were watching this event unfold, burst into laughter as Joe turned over his shoulder and shot them a look that outlined the possibilities. The other two men talking in the corner of the office as well as Chris and Ecstasy, didn't seem to notice.

“Ha ha!” Lily was now visibly irritated, standing with both her hands on her hips, waiting for any second when the doors would burst open again and police come rushing in only to hand cuff her and haul her off into the distance. In response to this thought she replied, “Ok, I have a deal for you. Joe, even though I actually do have to leave after I get my check now in order to deposit it, I promise that I'll come back in about an hour so that you and I can have a couple drinks before I get a tray and start working. You know it won't pick up until later anyway.”

Joe stood still for a moment as he clearly undressed Lily with his squinty eyes. She wanted to take a shower.

“Deal.” He slapped the envelope into Lily's open palms, but before she grabbed it, she noticed that she hadn't heard anything from the conversation behind her for a while. She whipped around only to find that Chris and Ecstasy had left. “Shit!”

The two men were still talking in the corner until they heard her shout this, then Joe, still smirking coyly, asked, “What?”

“Nothing. I gotta go. I'll see you in an hour,” Lily took huge strides toward the doors, and, turning back, said, “Thanks babe!” and gave Joe a wink.

As soon as she walked through the doors and onto the floor, she shuddered.

What the hell's going on?

Lily noticed the floor began to fill up and wondered what time it was. As she began to make her way into the dressing room, she saw Chris and a couple fellow waitresses gathered at the front register as he was in front of them impersonating someone. The waitresses giggled because Chris also looked foolish impersonating anybody, although he thought the laughs were for him and not at him, so he would enhance the act. This was his ploy to get the attractive women that were all around him to take any notice to him.

Lily walked up to Chris, and interrupting him, asked, “Where'd you take Ecstasy?”

“She's working!” He snapped at Lily, angry that she stopped his charades and made the other waitresses scatter. “Isn't that something you should be doing right now?”

“I'm not scheduled tonight. What do you mean she's working? She's not on any of the poles?” Immediately following this question Lily realized what Chris had meant by working. He was so upset with Ecstasy when he heard she turned down the rich doctor, so he probably made her give him a lap dance

“I can go show you if you want, Precious, but it'll cost you,” Chris began to advance toward Lily, but she backed away and quickly retorted with; “That won't be necessary, thanks.”

She quickly made her way through the males and dancers randomly positioned throughout the club and hoped she wouldn't find Ecstasy and Dr. Abbot in the middle of a lap dance. Lily remembered Ecstasy's reluctance when turning down Dr. Abbot and her hesitation when she realized she'd be leaving the club.

God, does she even want to come?

Before entering the threshold to the lap dance room, Lily made a promise to herself; if

Ecstasy was, in fact, giving Dr. Abbot a lap dance, she would just leave. Obviously, Ecstasy wasn't ready to give up the glamorous life of teasing men for a little more money and control from mafia perverts for anything potentially better.

Lily scanned the cubicles for a few seconds, then hesitantly approached two black shadows in the corner constantly changing form. She stopped about ten feet in front of the couple, but they didn't notice because they were too busy having sex.

Lily squinted to get a closer look at what she noted as Ecstasy's long hair trailing down the flesh of her muscular bare back. Her heart sank as she turned to leave the room.

Just get the hell out of here!

Lily's now broken heart was racing as she slid past the same dancers and men who she had past upon entering the lap dance room. She was making her way to the door, debating how she was going to deal with Chris on her way out, who was now entertaining himself with two other doormen by talking about two dancers perched on stools around a table seated in the back of the main stage seating area.

Lily was beginning to sweat and noticed her pulse skipping beats. She wrote this off as being too spun and put her index fingers to her throat. Her breathing was shallow, and the room started to get smaller as well as begin to rotate around her. The dark and subtle Greek goddess statue prints in the carpet began taking different form under the disco balls and red lights passing over them.

O my god I'm tripping out and people are starting to stare at me; they know what I've done!

Lily kept walking briskly toward the front door while turning over the connection between earning money by stripping rather than stealing as a means of survival. Is one morally better than the other?

* * * * *

Lily waited impatiently as the red light held her captive to the ringing of Ryder’s cell phone, which never picked up. It rang about four times before the “Hello” on the other end of the receiver startled her. She watched the streetlight change from red to green.

O WHAT A NIGHT

8:17 am, Present Day – Malibu, California

Lily jolted herself awake. She felt the drool that was coagulating at the corner of her mouth and wiped it with the back of her hand. A snort later, she picked up her phone and looked at the time. An unread text from Ryder lingered in her messages. That’s right! He invited me to the firehouse for breakfast.

Bleary-eyed, she turned the key that stuck out of the ignition. God, that was dangerous! It took a few solid moments for her to remember that she had parked on an undisclosed street last night so that she could sleep off whatever was yesterday. Right.

She checked her messages to read, “Are you coming over?” from Ryder. It was sent about

30 minutes ago.

As she set her phone on the passenger’s seat and pulled the car away from the curb, Lily questioned why Ryder decided to answer her call last night. What was special about that day, to him at least, remained a mystery to her. But he did answer and now her mind was reeling with anxiety, anticipation and curiosity, as well as hatred, bitterness and regret for their past. He was the-one-that-got-away from Lily, and she blamed her misguided choices on stupidity and immaturity. She was a fresh, angsty 18 and he a mellow 21-year-old firefighter at the time.

After the initial few months of unintentionally leading him on, he virtually vanished, and she was left alone in the middle of her mistakes realizing what she’d done. So, like any young girl in deep lust, she spent the next few years of her life attempting to bate him back.

He’d come and go here and there but never to stay, only enough to reignite her endless passion for him. This time’s no different, she kept telling herself. Lily had a lot to think about on her drive up to the Firehouse.

Ryder was a bruting and chiseled all-American man. Tan and gorgeous with a modest smirk coupled with a boyish twinkle in his eye and instantly Lily was in love.

She hung up her clam-shaped cell phone and flipped an illegal U-turn in the middle of

PCH right in front of the trendy and edgy Neptune's Net Seafood.

By the time she had pulled into the gravel-filled firehouse driveway, her forehead was beading with sweat. Is this just a mean joke and I’ll find out later that he’s flaking? Probably.

She parked in one of the many open spaces, took one last deep breath, felt the tingle run through the length of her arms, and opened the car door.

As she approached the firehouse, she heard a group of young men laughing hysterically from within. Her first instinct was to pivot and run back to her car, head home to deal somehow with the events of the past few days. She rationalized with her foot to take another step instead.

“How can I help you, miss?” asked a kind, blue-eyed and stalky young man who sat at a desk near the front door.

“Is Ryder here?” Lily’s voice was small and thin.

“Yeah, I think he’s on breakfast duty in the kitchen, you can go ahead and go in if you want. First door on the right,” the kind man pointed in the direction of the kitchen to Lily, “by the way, my name’s Lance.”

“Great, thanks Lance,” Lily was still watching him while he looked back down as his newspaper. She made her way down the hall and closer to the group laughter.

Intimidated, she grasped a hold of the door handle and pulled the swing door open toward her.

Five sets of eyes landed on her as she stood, motionless in the doorway of the firehouse kitchen. One of them was Ryder’s.

“Hey!” Ryder’s voice was higher than usual, and he looked slightly giddy holding a pancake-stained spatula with a chef’s apron too small for his medium muscular build.

The ten eyes still watched.

“Hey,” Lily faked back, “I’m here.”

“I’m glad you made it,” Ryder set down the spatula and as if he felt the tension in the room, said; “let me introduce you to the boys…”

* * * * *

Lily was drunk and bored, knowing full well that it was only about 3:30 pm. She perched atop a tall barstool in the corner of the funkiest and tackiest gloomy little dive she’d ever forgotten the name to. She paused for a moment, drink in hand mid-air as she remembered there was a small dead child inside her. She recognized it as she finished the sip she was contemplating.

She recapped the events of the yesterday in a surreal blur, still exhausted and shocked from the night before.

Ryder’s muscular frame leaned over the pool table and his butt flexed. Lily smiled.

She remembered their first kiss in his hot tub three years prior and the way he handwashed her car when he thought it needed it. The time that a child was running near a slippery cobblestone walkway around a fountain in the middle of a trendy Mexican restaurant, and when the child fell and hit his head against the solid ground, the way that Ryder jumped up from his seat to his fire-manly duties.

Then she thought of today. Today there was something different. And the mere fact that

Ryder had picked up his phone so quickly (or at all) was a bit unsettling; very unlike his usual hard-to-get bull shit games.

That morning, after Ryder had finished making breakfast and Lily got herself settled, he showed her around the firehouse, then the neighborhood. After the slightly awkward tour with

Lily pretending like Ryder was acting normal although she sensed an alternative motive behind his fake and aloof actions, he took her to get a firemen-friendly local hangout pub on the beach for Happy Hour. She didn't remember the name of the little dive as she sat, bubbly inside. I should get to the airport soon, reeled in her mind.

Fortunately for Lily this was one of Ryder’s days off and he had the freedom to roam around the city with her. His indifference was just a supplement to the past three years. She was used to being placed in the corner until he was ready for her.

A few margaritas and two tacos later they made their way to the beach and then for a walk around Malibu. It was a hazy afternoon and Ryder had offered to take her to the airport that evening.

Although the air around the two of them was filled with a substance that Lily could not place, nor wanted to, she recognized the old familiar feelings pulsing through her body for

Ryder.

I fucking hate that bastard, she thought. A few Long Island Ice Teas later and her inhibitions were solved. The strange air that followed them around all day was still attached to

Ryder, but the alcohol diluted some of it for Lily.

Now, she watched with eyes very heavy as Ryder made his way toward her.

“Hey gorgeous,” he teased, drunk, “are you getting tired; do you want to go?”

Fucking prick bastard! He’s not winning this one…

“No,” Lily grabbed Ryder’s blue plaid shirt sleeve as she fell off the bar stool into him,

“we’re dancing!”

The dance floor was Lily’s home, but Ryder’s body felt better. She grinded and twisted and teased him, turning him on and leaning into him. She knew how she looked and felt when she danced, especially when she drank and the trained dancer in her broke free of its restriction and quite literally ran amuck on dance floors in bars and nightclubs. The tableau of her and

Ryder grinding in such an opposing dark and dismal bar fueled Lily more as all eyes were on them.

“You move like a black girl!” The black men would say to her as the white ones watched from nearby corners or walls.

Rhythm was embedded and natural to Lily, and she not only knew it, but used it.

This was her tool; her time to shine and she was taking full advantage of it on Ryder. She could tell he was enjoying himself fully and she danced and danced and danced…

EVE’S REVENGE

6:42 am, Present Day – Ryder’s Firehouse, Malibu, California

The blond dread locks created a light pounding sound upon Savage Girl's back. They fell rhythmically within each step. The green streak of her fast image smeared itself a bit more vivid across Lily's darting eyelids. She was panting and breathing heavily into melodic syncopations as she caught small glimpses of navel and elbow. She was thin, tan, brutal and ruthless, running viscously from something. Or is it toward something? Lily wondered ...

Startled awake from her shallow unconsciousness that seeped from her like water from a rung sponge, Lily lay still in Ryder’s bed and didn’t move a muscle to remember where she was.

She slowly turned her head to the right and saw a small silver alarm clock that read 6:42 am. I can’t believe I’m up this early, she noticed, and he’s not!

Being how firemen are usually up and performing strenuous exercise at somewhere around 5:00 am every other morning, Ryder was usually rushing out the door before sunrise. Not this morning, Lily remembered, hearing Ryder let out a tiny snore, then breath, then another snore. It was his day off.

Although she couldn’t quite place it, Lily felt the urge to leave now. Realizing she was completely nude, she gathered up her clothes that were dispersed throughout the room, waited to hear another small snore, then continued getting dressed.

She pulled one jean leg at a time and caught a glimpse of herself in the narrow mirror between the two large windows on the side of the musky room. Her long dark hair spilled flawlessly and softly over her bare shoulders the way Venus's did in Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. It tickled the tip of her breast. Still wearing just the pinnacle necklace above her naked collarbone and her tight, dark jeans, Lily noticed her resemblance to a denim advertisement she’d seen in

Cosmopolitan magazine last month.

She was messy-sexy with smoldering eyes and high-arched eyebrows. She didn’t try, it was just there. Sometimes she was even afraid to catch her own reflection in the mirror because she was slightly afraid of her, often accidental, icy glare. I definitely don’t look like your typical

Wiccan, she thought.

A tiny gleam from the reflection of the dawning sun through a split in the retro curtains snapped Lily from her self-analyzation in Ryder's mirror. If she wanted to leave without being noticed, she’d better do it now.

She quickly and silently raised her arms to pull over her off-the-shoulders maroon stretchy shirt, when she noticed she hadn’t heard noises from Ryder in a while. She waited, arms overhead and shirt mid-way down, bare breasts exposed. There it was, Ryder was a little late in relieving the snore and it was a bit more abrupt this time. Lily couldn’t help giggling to herself, so she hid it with her left hand over her own mouth as she tip-toed to her change purse on the nightstand near his clock, then out the door.

She managed to sneak by everybody else, who she heard carrying on a loud conversation about a group of girls the night before. She made a fast tip-toed get-away out the door and, as she stood motionless in front of the Firehouse door, she remembered she didn’t have her car with her.

The sobering and panicked feeling of it being stolen washed over her at first, then she remembered they had left it down the street from the bar they were at the night before. Oh God, did I drive?!

Fuck, she thought. She began feeling helpless as floods of tiny particles from last night were creeping their way back into her mind.

The image of Ryder caressing an extremely drunk girl’s cheek while he thought Lily was still in the bathroom when she was really on the dance floor, snuck back to her. Prior to that, she caught him staring at the waitresses extremely flabby ass after she took their orders at the

Mexican place they ate at.

Not to mention he’s been a complete jerk for the past…hmmm…3 years! Jesus, Lily, have you had enough yet?!

Diluted rationalization compelled Lily to open his gas hatch and retrieve his key from the inside. It was almost too easy. She closed the hatch, opened the door, grabbed the oh-shit-handle, pulled herself up and inside, and slammed the door shut.

Before anybody could object, she was tearing out of the Firehouse driveway and making her way onto the desolate and dew-ridden streets of PCH.

She caught another glimpse of her devilish eyes in the rear-view mirror and smiled. She looked good in Ryder’s big white 700-E Raptor-baring z71 Chevy.

Slightly worried about the cops noticing her this early in the morning driving a now stolen vehicle, Lily decided to play it safe by taking the back roads for the first part of her journey home, then the rest on the 405 southbound.

In the nicer L.A. area, she really had nothing to worry about on the main streets, she could take her time, it was the roads nearing Long Beach and the south of Torrance, approaching the ghetto.

So, she drove, clicking through CDs on his automatic 10-disc changer until she finally found one that suited her; Elastica.

Good choice, Ryder, she thought smugly.

That’s when she noticed out of the corner of her eye after looking up from track 11 on the stereo face, his wallet. His wallet! There’s no way!

Still on the roads in the rich Woodland Hills area of L.A. but stuck at a light, she leaned over and reached under the seat where the wallet's leather corner was exposed in that horrible hiding place. Feeling like she’d committed now close to 20 crimes, she looked around guiltily.

No cops.

This was almost too easy a crime. She spotted the nearest ATM on her right at the corner and next to a busy and poshly designed Starbucks. She was in the mood for a soy chai anyway, and although she didn’t look the part, her new truck certainly resembled one of L.A.’s finest with its new big tires, shiny paint and polished rims.

Her light turned green, and she tore off in route of the ATM and Starbucks.

KARMA

7:17 am, Present Day – Woodland Hills, Los Angeles, California

She had to sit for a moment, silent, in her new truck before opening the door. Oh God, is everyone staring at me?! After she finally came to terms with the events around her as having nothing to do with her, she popped open the heavy door to his truck and hopped out.

Lily landed soft on the asphalt and shut the door. She walked quickly to Starbucks and decided to use some of the cash from Graham's bizarre stash to buy her soy chai.

After that oddly disappointing success as a completely normal Starbucks purchase, she headed out the door and made a sharp right to the ATM.

This time’s a lot easier, she thought, I’m really getting the hang of this!

She slid the card into the machine flawlessly before realizing that she didn’t have the code for Ryder’s ATM.

Fuck! She began sifting through his wallet in hopes that he had it written down somewhere. No luck.

Damn! She thought, I’ve got to get this together before he finds out its missing!

The ATM machine began to beep loudly so Lily typed in Ryder’s birthday, no luck once more.

At least that made the damn machine shut up!

This gave her slightly more time; think!

A few moments later and no closer to retrieving the password than before, the machine began to beep (louder it seemed) once more.

A shot of adrenaline pulsed through Lily’s body and her bowls began to tremble.

Now I’m sure everyone’s staring! She felt the scrutinizing stares at her back.

She quickly typed the first word that came to her head; fire. No luck.

The machine asked again for the code and Lily knew this would be the last time.

Bastard!

A few more failed moments later and Lily heard the beeping again. She kept staring blankly at the machine’s screen before she finally gave up and ended up selecting 2905, the first four digits that her fingers hit. She knew the effort was a total failure and the machine was about to eat his card, resulting in a tracking process that would completely give her away to authorities and allow Ryder to pin her trail.

As she had predicted, the machine gave one last warning, this time stating that it was going to confiscate the card and she would have to go inside the bank in order to retrieve it.

Fuck that! She spun around, glanced from side to side about five times and made a dash to the truck. She fumbled with the keys and shakily found the correct one, sliding it in the keyhole and letting herself into the large truck.

Mother fucker! The sound of the loud engine drowned out her frantic brain, now I’m going to jail for sure!

Not used to the mighty truck’s acceleration force, she tore through the parking lot and out the driveway, barely missing another car that let out a tiny beep as she cranked the wheel for the far-right lane.

God, can you please not get in a car accident while you’re at it!

A few adrenaline-filled minutes later, and Lily found herself cruising peacefully down the

405 headed southbound and following her own rhythmic breathing. It was 7:23 am and she was passing the Carson Blvd exit, realizing that her number of felons and misdemeanors were starting to rack up.

“Once you drive up a mountain you can't back down!” Lyrics from the Footloose musical rang through Lily’s mind repeatedly.

Instead of Elastica blaring in the background, she awakened from her tranced daydream to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and two bright red tail lights blaring straight at her.

She slammed on the brakes, startled, but that didn’t stop the massive truck she was in, barreling just slightly slower now toward the completely stopped car in front of her.

Relying on sheer human instinct and not common sense, Lily cranked the steering wheel as hard as she could to the left, just barely missing the Saturn’s bumper.

Unfortunately, there was a small red Mazda making great headway past Lily that she didn’t see before veering into the left lane. The impact from her gigantic truck sent the little red car spiraling in circles into the right lane beside it.

Lily, disoriented, realized that the reason she could see this was because her truck had spun 180 degrees and was now facing oncoming traffic.

As the small red car slowed to non-whirlwind circles, Lily noticed two sedans still flying down the freeway in the direction of the vehicle entanglement.

I know it’s foggy, but what are they doing?! Lily winced and began fumbling with the seat buckle.

The car farthest to the right must have seen the mess up ahead and in last minute desperation, did what Lily had done and swerved into the other lane. Fortunately for him, there was no one in the far-right lane and he ended up just tearing loudly off the road and onto the shoulder.

The other car, on the other hand, was still barreling toward the red Mazda in its lane, which had no inclination of anyone moving inside.

Lily immediately flung her body from her seat onto the center console, with the intentions of anywhere but her own seat; the one closest the accident scene.

With a loud screech followed by an ear-piercing crush of metal, Lily smelled a mixture of burning rubber and what she thought was gunpowder. Dead silence.

For a moment she lay, her body sprawled from the driver’s seat over the center console and onto the passenger’s seat. Dead silence.

She slowly pushed her way up to a leaning position in the driver’s seat, slid her arm frantically from side to side under the passenger’s seat, located her purse and threw it through the open passenger’s window and into the vegetation on the side of the freeway. Luckily it was a small nameless black sack that she bought from a flea market a few years ago; it was concealed effortless and weightless into the bush. All immediate evidence of her was now destroyed, fingerprints aside.

With cat-like instincts, she wriggled the crushed driver’s door open and jumped out into the white smoked scene to the rescue.

SUPER LILY

7:26 am, Present Day – Los Angeles, California

She glanced around at the patches of visible wreckage through the white haze, her amber hair slapped wildly against each cheek each time her foot pounded the cement.

What felt like seconds of flying with lightning speed around the obstacle, Lily reached the driver’s door to the red car and without a second thought, grabbed hard at the door and tugged with all her strength. She even went as far as to use the force from her right foot as momentum and leverage against the backseat driver’s side, and, under different circumstances would consider this sight amusing.

That’s when she heard the door to the other vehicle opening. She let go of the door handle to the red car and took one large step to the right, witnessing a man fall out of a new green

Nissan onto the pavement coughing.

“Are you ok?” She shouted to him.

“I - I think so,” he replied between wheezes.

She stood for a few seconds, eyes darting from the motionless silhouette inside the red car to the man crawling on all fours along the pavement. Suddenly, a flash of her laughing and playing King's Cup around a table at a party with a mix of her classmates from high school phased her.

After a few black blank seconds, she awoke to herself attempting the same maneuver as before; right foot pressed against the red car firmly, pulling with all her weight on the driver’s door handle.

The door flew open, almost knocking Lily onto her butt in the left lane. She jumped back and stood, staring at the powder-filled air surrounding an attractive and unconscious man slightly older than herself in a business suit.

In a split-second assessment, she realized that the impact enacted the air bag and knocked the driver unconscious. She unbuckled his seatbelt and all his body weight flopped forward into the airbag. She grabbed his entire body with both arms and completely engulfed herself around him in a gigantic hug. She heaved him toward her, and he leaned heavily into her. She adjusted her forearms to lock with his armpits and the back of his head rested on her belly. With a motherly twinge she twisted the man toward the open door and pulled him from the grainy air of the driver’s seat.

The weight of his head against her stomach reminded her of the dead unborn child sitting inside her and she took a brief venture into the madness that was the prior two days, fully realizing and surrendering to the fact that any previous life she had known was now demolished and her character would never be the same. No looking back now, Lily, never looking back now.

The unconscious man in her arms brought her back to reality and she dutifully laid him out next to the steaming car, tilted his head back, listened to his air passage for breathing, then proceeded to perform CPR on the man as she had learned to do multiple times in First Aid courses for dance instruction.

She was performing the routine with rigorous efforts while her mind raced with questions, racked with guilt and plagued with remorse over her recklessness.

I’m dealing with it the best I can! Was all she could muster up for a valid explanation to herself for the scenarios she’d stirred up. I’m just trying to live!

“Is he ok?!” Screamed an older man with a head full of shiny silver hair running like a maniac from northbound toward her as his yellow tie flapped behind him viciously. In the distance, Lily could see that the other driver was receiving assistance with three men helping him off the ground, one of them waving up the freeway to another person who was running toward the scene. Lily exhaled as she stood up.

Startled from the older man’s abrupt shove past her, she replied, “Uh, I don’t know. He’s unconscious and not breathing.”

“Did you see where the other guy went?” A blond woman in a long skirt printed with large light blue daisies appeared from behind the older man, who was now kneeling next to the businessman on the asphalt. She was pointing in the direction of the open driver’s door to

Ryder’s truck while a woman with huge curls wearing tight jeans stood next to her and gave a zealous head nod.

The slow-motion journey into the final descent over the bridge of her transformation underfoot consumed Lily from the toes up. She gazed speechless down at the palms of her hands in front of her and up her arms. No scratches, just shaky manicured fingers and hands were present.

“They ran that way,” Lily watched her own arm raise and, still facing northbound, pointed toward the roadside on her left with so much conviction that she nearly convinced herself it was true. The two women stared deep within her soul, wide-eyed, and for a fleeting moment she swore they saw right through her lies and uncovered all her sins.

But who gets to dictate whether I’ve committed sins or am just trying to survive in a world full of chaos?

The two women spun ferociously in the direction of Lily’s finger and tore off to apprehend the fraudulent missing male driver.

She looked around herself; the gray-haired man was kneeling and holding the now conscience but still limp body of the thirtysomething man while reassuring him that emergency professionals were on their way.

In front of the green Nissan in the distance, there were now about five people huddled around the driver who sat on the hood of his car, disoriented. Slightly past them, the two women paraded through the shrubbery surrounding the side of the freeway searching for Lily but thinking they were looking for a man.

She watched a pool of cars gather behind the wreck and slowly filter into the carpool lane one-by-one. No one seemed to notice that she was now inching her way around the back of the red car and into the lane that harbored Ryder’s truck.

She didn’t expect to see a group of witnesses standing next to the open door to the truck when she rounded the back of the Mazda, but when one of the people in the group approached her and asked her where she came from, she responded sharply with, “I was just with the other women over there searching for the guy who ditched the truck. I thought I’d check farther southbound. You never know.”

“Yeah…good idea,” one larger woman with a purple paisley moo-moo was evidentially in authority, and replied, “but you might want to hurry before he gets away.”

“Yeah, sure…” Lily began to run toward the location of her hidden purse in the shrubbery. Everyone was so occupied with helping the injured drivers and searching for the man who fled the scene, that no one noticed a subtle black speck on the shoulder of the road.

There was no one watching as she, still jogging, bent down and swooped up her sack.

Without skipping a beat, she kept the pace until she found a hole in the chain-link fence deep in the greenery on the shoulder and manipulated her body to squeeze through, landing atop a small hillside.

She did not recognize herself or her own thoughts. With what felt like her usual 21-yearold eyes but were masked with questions passing like grains of sand through her brain, she stifled any lingering guilt and just focused on her feet slamming hard into the brush underneath.

At first it was just a flurry of nature she pounded heartily upon and a smear of whites, blues and browns from the houses that were passing her by, but soon it became one big blur.

KAYAKING KREEPS

9:10 am, Present Day – Long Beach, California

Lily huffed and huffed until she had to rest against a large green truck. Come on, Lily!

Get home, get your shit and go!

She ran so hard upon the pavement her heart nearly beat out of her chest. She ran until she saw her quaint little tropical condo in the distance. Just a few more strides and she was home.

Lily half fell, half ran down the frontage road to her PCH home. It grew larger with every step.

She sloppily clambered up the stairs and hugged the railing as she pulled herself toward her front door. She looked up to avoid running head-on into a nearby cactus only to find the pink fold-out patio chair in front of the luscious palm tree next to her door occupied. It was Clyde.

“What the--” She managed to huff between gasps of air. She bent down and supported herself with the railing.

“Bonnie baby!” It was her best friend, Clyde, hence the Bonnie reference. He had a shady quality about him that made you constantly think he was up to no good all the time. Even his facial features wreaked of deception; his nose was long and slender, protruding over a tiny mustache that made him look like an unconvicted statutory rapist. Aside from all this, he was gusto. Anything and everything he wanted he got when he wanted it, and he was a lot of fun. It was always something when the two of them got together. “Go big or go home,” Clyde proclaimed daily as his mantra.

“Well, what the hell are you doing here? Get inside!” Lily regained her composure, but

Clyde would comment on her currently wavering stature anyway.

“What 's going on with you?” It was quicker than she expected.

“Nothing, I just – hey! Aren't you supposed to be at work?”

“Jesus, Bonnie. Don't you remember Havasu? Kayaking, anything?”

Oh, that's right! Earlier that week she told him she'd go to the nearby twentysomething hot-spot party lake to get spun and kayak. “Oh wow. I forgot what day it is, sorry. Yeah, let's do this.”

Lily forgot what day it was; true. She wanted to go with Clyde to Havasu; false.

Everyone always warned her of that pesky shady quality that she was aware of; it was his self- proclaimed Roman nose. Not until recently had she decided to do blow with him, exposing any grain of faked decency he harbored.

Blow, wow. She forgot she had done some at the Bodyshop. I could really go for more, she thought, as a nauseating feeling washed over her.

She snapped back to reality to see Clyde standing, staring wide-eyed at her chest. “What the hell is with you, Lily?” He didn't blink but asked dazed. Before she could scramble for an excuse, he replied, “Get your shit and let's go. I've got a surprise for you.”

“Right,” Lily walked through her sun-drenched condo and pushed the door open to her room. He followed her into the bedroom, but she didn't hesitate although she noticed. She walked straight back toward her bathroom and started pulling her stuff from all directions into the large suitcase that was open in the middle of the floor.

Within a couple seconds she realized that Clyde would probably say something about the random clothing she chose and decided instead to turn to him abruptly and confidently state;

“Yeah, I'm done.”

“Well, damn. That was fast,” he swiveled toward her from the direction of her window, and she smirked.

“Then...we're ready, right?” Lily could use a mini vacation, something to get her away from the multiple crime scenes, dead babies and running wild women over the past couple days.

Or she really wanted to go? The phone in the kitchen rang a high-pitched melody from the wall where it hung; it never rang! Both her and Clyde looked startled.

“Well, are you going to get it, or just let it ring like that?” Clyde began to sound irritated after a few seconds.

“Uh, yeah,” Lily had never believed in the dark rising feminine, the Goddess and Source magic more than she did now. Ha, I’m such a freaky witch! She let pass through her mind but not linger. Something in that realization made her want to jump out of her own skin, scream and run.

It felt too familiar and triggered a deep wisdom, inner remembering that she wasn’t ready to face… yet. “I guess I'll be right back.”

Clyde looked too preoccupied with something in his imitation army green slackers to care what Lily had said. He must be high! she walked out of her room as if she were getting away with shoplifting.

“Yeah—hi.” Lily answered the phone as she glanced back at her bedroom door.

“Yo! Whatcha doin?” Drake.

“Not much,” she lied, “you?”

“Well...I'm in front of your place right now with my bike. Wanna go for a ride?”

Lily, still staring at her bedroom door as mid-morning shadows from her window illuminated Clyde’s silhouette preparing something suspicious and glowing in the sunlight made her reply. “Yes.”

As soon as she said that she knew she'd have to figure something out because Drake was not the type to come to her door, nor wait for too long downstairs. He was the typical fraternity boy who owned a motorcycle, not too uncommon around those parts. He had a tremendously good-looking body, although his face was slightly unfortunate, stained with former acne scars.

He liked to style his hair in a very spiky, boy-band manner that made Lily think he was confused.

Was he a biker or was he a pretty boy?

She looked down at her large black suitcase, wondering what occupied it, while she noticed Clyde's shadow grow longer and longer upon it's top. Could the suitcase fit on a motorcycle? She looked up to meet Clyde's eyes.

“Who was that?” He asked half-heartedly.

“Drake,” she replied, searching his outreached hands for signs of excitement. She saw it coming; “he wanted me to take a ride around the block on his bike or something – so what do you have there?”

Clyde grinned. “Why?” he teased.

Lily laughed nonchalant at this statement but couldn't help but look longingly at the mirror that Clyde mysteriously held down behind his right hip as he walked toward her. “Get ready, Big B,” he smiled. “You promised me something a long time ago, remember?”

Oh Goddess! I did. Lily had promised Daniel that he could take a line off her chest, and she off his erect penis. She did this to get him to shut up about it, unaware it would come back to haunt her.

“Damn straight.” Lily pushed everything on the counter from her right onward to the ground to clear way for the party.

Clyde placed the mirror on the counter along with a 50 and made a small reverence with his hands; “It's all you, B.” He smiled downward like The Joker.

Lily bent down at the top of the huge white line he drew for her, exhaled, and then quickly inhaled down the mirror. At least he's not making me do this off his body.

After a few cocaine-filled minutes, Lily replied: “I better go get rid of Drake.” She waited for Clyde to look busy with something to continue. “He's probably still waiting.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lily saw just enough around Clyde's back to notice he was preparing another line for them and unzipping his pants.

“Um, yeah. You know what? I think I left my lotion on the counter in my bathroom. Can you get it real quick, and I'll get rid of Drake?”

“...Sure...” Clyde took his time to place everything on counter, and without a glance back in her direction, she watched him disappear around the corner and into her room.

He emerged a moment later to the front door cracked open, leaking more sunlight into the condo. He stood for a few seconds staring into the empty living room before realizing that Lily's suitcase was gone. Within that same frame of thought, Clyde could hear the blue Honda

Nighthawk CB750 blare off in the difference.

CHERRY RED

10:10 am, Present Day – Approaching Los Angeles, California

The loud hum of the blue Nighthawk filled Lily’s ears and clouded her thoughts. The quick spiral and addiction to a life unhinged was far harder to let go than she’d realized. She felt special, like she pulled one over on everyone over the past couple of days. The raw wild woman within unleashed upon the world. She could never go back, never look behind herself. Pure and utter freedom as she flew down PCH.

How do you leave something so beautiful, so natural, inordinate, and wise, especially to go back to…what? She became dependent on the pain and more so its enabler; the “lessons”. The inevitable and embedded change would plant root so deep within her that she could feel the vines of its knowledge spread throughout her body and into her veins. I can’t go back; I must look forward and forge onward. Too deep now, Lily, too many changes. Keep rolling. She was rolling.

The thoughts circled and reinstated themselves around her mind until she noticed him to the left of her. Through the tinted Plexiglas of her too-large bike helmet and perched atop the side-seats of the apple red fire truck, sat Ryder, gleaming and squinty in the direction of her.

She knew he saw her, knew it was her since he could visibly see the intricate yellow and orange wings of Stella, the Amy Brown fire element fairy tattoo on the small of her back.

They briefly made eye-contact. But before he had the chance to yell, pull Lily and Drake over, or jump off the fire truck, the motorcycle started up and with a loud roar, they flew past

Ryder and the other three firemen, whom she was sure knew the full story by now.

Without a second thought and almost out of instinct with pure adrenalin of the chase, she grabbed a hold of Drake tightly with her right arm around his firm stomach and rose her left arm as high as she could into the air, middle finger standing tallest.

Not once turning her hate-filled gaze from Ryder’s eyes to face the direction they were traveling; she knew that he saw the glimmer of cherry red nail polish on her fingertips extended from her freshly tattooed wrist; all the while wanting to get his hands tightly wrapped around her throat.

For the first time ever in this dysfunctional relationship, she was in control of Ryder’s emotions; it was exhilarating.

As Drake’s loud Nighthawk accelerated to pass the now baffled firemen perched high on their throne of a fire truck, she felt his extremely tight, yet baby soft stomach over the T-shirt.

She caressed it; softly stroking the firm roundness of the boy’s tummy. He began to squirm as her hand started to make its way down the front of his pants, under his cotton boxers and over the dispersed Happy Trail. He slightly turned his right cheek back toward her and they knocked helmets.

He wanted her to know that he acknowledged what she was doing and signaled approval to continue her journey. She wondered if Ryder could see all this.

A blur of red and the sharp sound of crushing metal twisted in her ears. The sting of asphalt tore through the flesh of her leg before she realized they’d gotten into a nasty motorcycle wreck. The entire left side of her body felt like fire as this sobering reality made her tense, sliding along the rough pavement of PCH. She began preparing herself for death. Please don’t make this painful, she bargained indifferently with the few Goddesses that came to her mind first.

An out-of-body experience: she floated high above the mess and wreckage and watched the incident unfold below.

As if a CD was put on repeat in her right ear, the grinding metal from the motorcycle against the pavement and broken glass from its impact into the windshield of the red ’96 Nissan

Altima they collided with, swirled in her mind over and over. There were no human noises, no screams or shrills, she was entirely alone. Her left ear was filled loudly with the sound of her plastic helmet scraping mercilessly against the asphalt, then nothing.

She could only hear her own breath escape her body and felt a cold, soft ground beneath her. It smelt of damp Palm Trees.

I wonder what happened to Drake, Lily thought to herself as she lied there motionless and tired. She couldn’t see anybody but heard voices very far off in the distance and the scurrying of frantic people searching for victims and making sure the ones they found were not badly injured. Surreal...she let her thoughts drift.

The sounds grew more and more faint as Lily, still motionless, closed her tired eyes under the shade of the palms and allowed her body to become a product of something not her own, filling with a relaxing numbness. She let her head flop to one side and saw her suitcase strewn in the forest on the side of the road before closing her eyes. So much for having Drake take her to the airport...

WAKING UP

10:16 am, Present Day – Los Angeles, California

Panting, breathing, twigs breaking underfoot. Long blond locks hit flesh like splatters of rain on a window. Savage Girl runs wildly past Lily, and she could feel the breeze. Lily gasps as

Savage Girl reappears from the other side of her body. Heavy panting. Savage Girl stops a moment, bends down and clutches her stomach. She slowly looks up at Lily with vengeful eyes, her hands soaked in blood.

* * * * *

Lily’s eyes fluttered open wildly as she heard footsteps nearby. “You sure there was another person on that motorcycle?” Someone was questioning to a second person who was closing in on Lily’s location.

“Positive.”

The second voice sounded unsure; “where?”

“I don’t know.”

“Too bad the boy’s unconscious, he’d be a lot of help right now,” the first voice stated from the side of the road.

“Yeah, but the firemen said that there were two, and to search for her,” the first one was approaching the second voice but sounded distracted.

The Fire Department?! Fuck, I gotta go! Lily used the little strength she had to push herself further down into the forest gully that lined PCH’s right roadside.

“Hey, I think I hear moving,” the second voice screamed back to the first. Lily stopped moving. Think, Lily!

As quick as she could, she located the nearest stick and tossed it into a pile of loose leaves nearby. This was done with a sharp pang that made her wince and she learned her left arm must be dislocated or broken, at best. She waited while holding her breath and realized that she wasn’t wearing a helmet any longer.

“Hey, I just heard something over here,” Voice Two was now talking to Voice One next to him while they both had their backs to Lily’s hiding spot. “If there’s anybody out there, we’re here to help you. You were just in a very bad car accident, and you need medical attention. Don’t move, we’ll come to you.”

Fortunately, the gully had a deep trench near a hillside so that Lily was perfectly hidden from sight behind it. She shimmied her way toward the nearest right turn, staying consistent with their footsteps as not to create too much a noisy get-away.

“Do you think the boy will be ok?” The second voice questioned to the first after a moment with no response from Lily the Victim.

“Sounds like it,” the first replied, avidly searching for the second party on that motorcycle. “He was lucky; slid a bit then hit one of those cones in the center. What knocked him out was the fall from the bike. Fuck!! I can’t find the girl!”

They’re talking about Drake! Lily was already far enough away from them to make slightly more noise as she almost rounded a small road that ran perpendicular to PCH near

Malibu. It was Sunset Boulevard again. Damn it!

She knew of a gas station up the road where she could clean herself up. The only injuries that made themselves present now were her left arm, the large asphalt scrape on the side of her left calf and tiny bumps and bruises. Her head throbbed a bit, although the hearing out of her left ear was coated with a tiny constant ringing and was a little softer than normal. She was lucky.

“Hey, did those firemen ever get that guy out of his van?” Voice number two asked Voice

One in what sounded like a whisper to Lily who was now rounding the corner and limping up the steep hill in hopes that residents who were home in their large, expensive homes weren’t watching the event unfold.

She approached the strewn suitcase as a piercing pain in her left calf startled her. She limped awkwardly up the hill, determined to haul her suitcase with her in hopes to be a mystery victim in the crash that took place on PCH and not Lily, wanted fugitive loose in L.A. She looked back occasionally to see if the two heroes were still in search of a second victim while she hobbled her way to the road ahead.

JE PARTERAI

12:13 pm, Present Day, Somewhere in Los Angeles, California

Lily panted as she parted the shrubbery and fumbled with her suitcase. Exhausted, she clumsily tossed the case over a 4-foot abandoned wire fence, and although she didn't know exactly where she was, the wafting smell of the Venice Beach Boardwalk drifted by her. Within less than 48 hours she'd been to Long Beach, Venice, L.A., Malibu, Long Beach and back again.

Mostly by foot! Weird.

So, she grabbed, she grabbed for anything around. It was a high climb to the top of the electric fence, and within seconds it was over.

She hit brush, twigs and stickling. It hurt the entirety of the injured left side of her body.

After she tumbled to the ground, she heard random chatter in the distance. Fuck! It’s those stupid witnesses again looking for me.

She paused for a moment; the only sound was her rhythmic breathing and the rapid beating of her heart.

“No man, that’s how they used to do it. It’s like this now…” Voice One was faint in the distance but clear enough for Lily to determine that he was a drug user, homeless or both. There was no Voice Two.

Lily decided to take off before any more unwarranted expectancies popped up. As she swooped up the now tattered suitcase with her right arm, she looked around her. Where the hell am I?

Completely disoriented for a few seconds, she finally reasoned that she must be somewhere north of UCLA on Sunset. The trees and lush vegetation gave it all away.

Alright, Lily sighed and took a 360-degree scan around her. Upon second glance she noticed a very subtle clearing through the forestry. Destination number one, she thought as she tripped over some twigs and regained her footing toward the direction of salvation. Her left arm was throbbing with intensity.

Lily approached the clearing, which now was beginning to come into view as some sort of a park, while she scrutinized her left calf. The damn thing had been hurting worse ever since she left the crash. I wonder what ever happened to Drake?

She finally deducted that her calf muscle must have been torn before hearing a man clear his throat, startling her out of self-concerned daze.

She dropped her suitcase and jumped back a couple centimeters, not expecting anyone to be standing as close as these men were to her. About five feet in front of her, leaning against an old, brown pick nick table, Lily put the voices she had heard moments before to faces.

The two men were visibly homeless, or at least of the lower transient culture; grungy

Venice population. Both wore dirty denim and the one with longer dust-colored and uncombed hair with matching goatee, had a torn and faded navy-blue flannel over a sweat-stained beater on.

Lily was immediately reminded of a dingier Wes Scantlin from the Puddle of Mudd band.

The other rough man had dread locks, not of the groomed kind, and was wearing a weary green T-shirt with a few small holes. Behind the glaring men, was a black, basic Jan Sport backpack resting on the table, unzipped but flat. O great, this is just what I need, a couple of druggies in my way.

“Well, what do we have here?” Lily recognized the one with the scraggly facial hair’s voice from before. He must be the leader among them. “Well honey, looks like you showed up to the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“And why’s that?” Lily rested her right hand on her thigh and dangled the left arm as she knelt over to catch a deeper breath.

“Yo man, I think she’s hurt,” Dread Locks chimed in. He was about two decades older than the if-showered-would-be-cute Scantlin look-alike, but almost appeared younger.

“So, what happened to you?” the Flannel asked. “You look like you’ve been in a car wreck.”

“Good guess,” Lily straightened up and met both men at eye level. One had a set of green, the other had a set of blue. “Where’s the nearest road. I’m in a hurry.”

“I don’t care,” the flannel-clad leader said as he slowly approached Lily.

“Ok listen. I don’t have time for this shit. I need my fix and I need it bad,” Lily said with such conviction that she almost believed it herself. “I have cash.”

“What are you looking for, Precious?” Dread Locks stuck an arm in front of Flannel man to prevent him from taking any more steps toward Lily.

“You know what I want,” she lied, “yay.”

“How much you got?” The Flannel pushed away Dread’s outstretched arm and stepped up to her, nearly nose-to-nose. Lily could feel his breathing but tried not to step backward.

She reached down into her partially zipped suitcase and pulled out the smaller of two wads of cash that were sitting in bundles under her hot pink and sequined pop star sequin tank top. She decided immediately if she made it out of this situation that the sexy tank would be worn on her airplane ride. “This,” is all she said, showing the two men the cash overflowing through her fingers.

“Alright, let’s talk,” both men turned away from her and walked toward the picnic table behind them. They unloaded the backpack containing a half-dozen Bud Lights, two full baggies of potent marijuana, and what looked like an aerosol can. Beneath these items, was a home-made zipper pouch that Dreads opened, rustled around in for a bit, then pulled out a medium-sized bank deposit envelope. He unzipped it right as Flannel chimed in with; “Quickly! We don’t want the cops on our ass, again.”

“The cops are around?” Lily questioned.

“They were lingering for a bit, so we left, they left, then we came back,” replied Dreads.

“Haha, nice. My kinda guys…” Lily set down a bundle of cash, which she predicted to contain no more than a hundred or so dollars left over from Graham's stash. She could definitely afford the good fortune of pretending to do business with these men instead of being robbed – or worse – by them.

Flannel swooped up the cash, fingered through it a bit, then took the envelope from

Dreads and plucked out a small violet balloon filled with heroine. “Nice doing business with you, Crazy Girl,” Flannel plopped the balloon down in Lily’s palm, then continued, “now get the hell out of here.”

Lily chuckled a bit at the thought of these guys creating a little identity for her as she did the same to them. She gave them both a nod, dropped the balloon straight into her bag, turned around and started gimp-running in the direction she was headed before. She looked back once, squashing the little nostalgic feeling that was churning around the dead baby in her stomach. The two men were staring straight at her, watching her half limp, half run toward what sounded like a road.

Lily turned back and shook her head. Now what the hell was she supposed to do with a balloon full of drugs?

I wonder if heroine can fix wounds? Lily fingered the small balloon as she nervously glanced down at her watch that sat in the palm of her hands jittering in tune with her nerves and every passing moment. She’d been waiting already 10 minutes for someone to pick her up.

Finally, as she stood there humbly sticking her thumb into the air, a UCLA studentlooking driver in a souped-up navy blue '67 Mustang pulled up ahead of her. She gathered up her tattered little suitcase and ran as normal as she could toward the car.

“Hey gorgeous. Weird spot to be hitchhiking, don’t you think?” asked the very pretty and skinny young man behind the wheel. Lily could tell immediately that he was gay, so she quickly opened up the car door, flashed him a smile and exhaled as she sat down on the recently upholstered black leather bucket seats.

“The past few days have been even weirder, trust me.”

“So…where you goin’?” He looked down at the stick in park as he jerked it back into drive, checked his mirror, then revved and pulled out sharp onto Sunset Boulevard.

“, I need to be at the airport in a few hours for an international flight, so I don’t want to push it,” Lily buckled her seatbelt. “But… do you happen to know a good costume store nearby that I can pick something up at, first?”

“I do!” The handsome student wasted no time before spinning a U-turn in the middle of a down slope on Sunset. Holly crap, he’s high! Before she could properly react, a little portion of her brain was already trying to figure out a way to sell the little violet balloon at a profit to Mr.

Handsome.

They chatted about school, life and philosophy in modern day; the theories on why the

U.S. is over-due in civil revolution, cosmic phenomenon, quantum physics and everything.

Anything to keep the topic of conversation off of her.

After the very quick shopping trip to a mom-and-pop costume shop that Mr. Handsome recommended, where he didn’t even get out of the car, Lily sighed with relief that once at the airport, she could dawn her new look and ease into her new life a bit more.

They were nearing LAX and Lily decided she’d better act fast if she had any shot of boarding this plane with a little more cash instead of sitting in jail for now more than grand theft auto, theft in general, fleeing the scene of an accident, fraud, and drug trafficking. Damn it!

Seeing as how Tye, the model-like driver, had clearly shown himself as spun, it wasn’t a surprise to Lily that his eyes lit up when she asked him the infamous question; “Tye,do you like to party?”

It was easier than I thought. Lily slammed the Mustang door shut and turned back to blow gorgeous Tye a little kiss goodbye as she stuffed her cash in the middle of her clothes in her bag. All she had to do was make up some bull shit story about how this heroine was called White

Gold because it was presented in a cute little purple balloon, and Tye was slapping a one-quarter profit straight into Lily’s hands, eyes glimmering.

She made it into the airport, beaming with happiness at her brilliant plan as her watch read 3:47 pm. Ample time until her flight! And, no bag checks, no ticket bullshit…nice!

With more than enough time before her flight, Lily headed to the nearest bathroom to get herself cleaned up and in disguise. Surely, if she kept running amuck around Southern California looking like she always did, authorities would find out and not let her board that plane. In the bathroom, she pulled out her short black bobbed wig and pinned it to the bun in her hair. Then, she added a lot of eye makeup that was opposite her usual style. After she finished that, she changed into the long goddess bandage dress that she found in the costume shop, painted her lips and nails red, wiggled the dress to fit her a bit more exact, then promptly exited the bathroom.

She discovered a vacant gate where the passengers had just boarded a plane headed to

Hawaii, occupied a discreet chair in a quiet corner, and decided to sleep off the events of the past few days. Placing her large, black sunglasses over her eyes. More detail for the disguise as well as her new image.

* * * * *

The rhythmic breathing and pounding of bare feet filled Lily’s ears. The same character, the Savage Girl, and the same forest scene continued to haunt Lily. She’d been having these visions and dreams for about a week, now more consistent and more vivid than ever before.

Savage Girl was running straight towards her, a methodic yet frantic run. As their eyes met and Savage Girl continued to run towards her, Lily questioned whether she should step out of the way. It was as though Savage Girl was headed right towards her and if Lily didn’t dodge her fast and steadily paced run, they would collide.

In a moment of panic seconds before a collision, Lily dove out of the path and into nearby foliage. She rolled and twisted herself around to catch a close-up glimpse of Savage Girl as she streaked by. Red soaked near her abdomen, Savage Girl passed Lily by just a hair before slowing herself down to what felt like eternal milliseconds, then, with just as much drama and stretch, turned her head incredibly slowly and meeting Lily straight in the eyes. It wasn’t that

Savage Girl had slowed herself down as much as time was stretching itself. Lily just stared.

They locked eyes with ferocity, Savage Girl begging Lily to integrate the message that was being relayed with her eyes. Lily knew that she needed to comprehend what Savage Girl was relaying to her, but she didn’t know what she didn’t know yet, and so she just absorbed. She allowed the moment to flood over her and rein on her what messages she needed to learn. Savage

Girl’s eyes penetrated Lily deep, and Lily knew she needed to just remain present. She will receive and she will integrate and she will learn and she will grow. Period.

As Savage Girl finished her passage by Lily, she just as slowly took her eyes from the deep stare that they embraced forward, all with the same glacial pace as she had turned her head towards Lily. Lily kept staring in her direction.

What is she running towards with such deliberation? Or, more importantly, what is she running away from?

* * * * *

Lily jolted herself awake and sucked up the little drool that had pooled at the corner of her mouth. The sun was noticeably lower in the sky, which prompted her to check the new gold costume watch that she had purchased in L.A. with Tye. It read 8:12 pm. Shit! I need to get to my gate and board my plane!

Lily snatched up her bag and wove through the mass of people milling about in all directions. She darted and dodged other travelers while struggling to navigate and find her own gate. She followed the signs that led her to Gate 47A for her American Airlines connecting flight out of Miami.

Lily ran straight to her gate and watched as one of the flight attendants started to close the door to the boarding ramp.

“No, wait!” Lily shouted as she ran up to the woman.

“Ma’am, are you on this flight?” The stoic woman showed little empathy towards Lily’s late coming.

“Yes, yes I am,” Lily shoved her papers at the lady.

“May I see your ID?”

“Um...yeah,” Lily fumbled through her suitcase and was bouncing around a little bit now to demonstrate the urgency in the situation to the woman.

“Well, Miss Rae, let’s get you on that plane,” The woman smiled at Lily.

“Thank you!” Lily replied, hurriedly following the woman down the boarding plank to the plane. She sighed with relief as she saw one of the flight attendants holding the plane door open for her. “Welcome,” the flight attendant smiled coolly at Lily as Lily’s heart rate finally began to slow.

She quickly passed the rows of passengers looking irritated for having to wait for Lily to board the plane and took her seat near the back of the plane.

She sank into the large cushiony airplane seat and closed her eyes as the jet engine flared up. The sound of the captain’s greeting and the flight attendants preparing for the emergency exit instructions faded off into the distance as Lily let the whirls of questions and concerns float around her mind.

It was black and she could hear Savage Girl in the distance pant her way into direct hearing range of Lily, the noise filling her ears with a resounding echo. Her whole body began to tingle, and the panting grew stronger. Savage Girl’s forest backdrop re-emerged in the background and her footsteps beat harder on the pounded twigs. Rhythmic breathing, stomp, breathing, stomp ... Lily had a million questions to ask Savage Girl ...

CLOSE CALL

5:32 am, Present Day/Morning after Red-eye flight, Arriving at MIA Airport, Florida

Lily listened to the captain once again come over the loud system and announce that they were making their descent to the Miami International Airport. She had successfully occupied the last five hours with thoughts of Savage Girl and wonders of the fetus that rested within her body.

Savage Girl, this familiar character that Lily was now associating with in some dimensional realm, held the key to great messages that Lily needed to receive. And although she knew she should intuit what those messages were, she couldn’t help but try and mentally attach meaning to this new character.

She ruminated and mulled over the significance of Savage Girl’s presence, slightly jealous of her independence, liberation and freedom. But at the same time, baffled at what possessed Savage Girl to flee with such intensity away or towards something. What was the symbolism to all of this, to the vague familiarity that rose within Lily as she pondered all of this?

She couldn’t help but wonder if she was slipping into some form of insanity. That the release and the falling away of things that she had held on to so dearly only weeks ago, days even, that now seemed insignificant. Her grasp on these both tangible and abstract items and events just held little meaning to her any longer. And, with that sense of release came a sense of liberation.

Maybe this was Savage Girl’s message to Lily? Let go… release…

As the plane made its official landing on the runway of the airport, the passengers swayed and jerked with the motion of the aircraft. The regular and anticipated sounds of seat belts unclicking, bags being rearranged, and cell phone chimes filled the air as the plane started to pull to a stop at an arrival gate.

“Um, this is your captain again. There’s been some activity and officials will be boarding the aircraft before we disembark to check passenger IDs,” said the captain. “To ensure that this goes smoothly so that everyone can make their connecting flights, we ask that all passengers have their IDs out and ready for the authorities. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Lily’s heart sank and she immediately wanted to jump out of the window. Think, think! A few panicked moments went by before the lightbulb went off. Oh my god, please be in here! Lily fumbled through her bag to find her wallet. Last year when Lily was about 20 years old, she got her hands on a fake ID to help carry her into 21, and to her recollection, it was still located in her wallet. “Yes!” She yelled uncontrollably, prompting the nearby passengers to turn their heads and take notice of her. “Sorry, just excited to show off my wallet,” she held up her silver sequined wallet.

Moments later, the airport police boarded the airplane as warned. They began at the front of the plane, one policeman per row, scanning each person’s ID and then giving it back. At some point Lily knew that they would get to her. She’d have to act cool. This is her day of reckoning.

All the events have caught up to her and if she was to make it off that airplane outside of hand cuffs, she would need to pull this off. She breathed calmly and with rhythm. Something inside her confirmed that she could do this, so she stayed relaxed and confident.

Once the police made it to her, they asked her for her final destination. “Miami,” she lied.

“Well, actually it’s technically South Beach, but you know...” Shut up! Too much info. The interrogating policeman made a slight, unimpressed grunt, then asked, “May I see your ID,

Miss?” and held out his right hand.

She complied, handing over her fake ID with the name Marie Miller written on it.

Fortunately, she had taken the picture for the fake ID during a crazy hair phase post-regular modeling gig at Wella’s headquarters in Woodland Hills before it closed. They loved to make

Lily the Marilyn Monroe look during her contract as an in-house model. So, naturally after the contract wrapped, she wore the look a few more weeks before going an entirely different direction and dying her hair hot pink.

The confused look on the policeman’s face left Lily with pins and needles down her arm.

“Is everything ok, officer?”

He looked at the card and then back at her again. “I like the black hair much better,” he said as he handed the card back to her.

“Ha, yeah…” Lily laughed nervously. “That was a phase I went through last year, but it didn’t suit me.”

The policeman continued his journey to the back of the plane before running out of passengers and turning back to meet his colleagues near the front of the plane. One of the other authorities stood mid-plane and thanked everyone for their cooperation one more time before the group disembarked the aircraft. Lily let out a sigh of relief before catching the glimpse of a man staring at her out of the corner of her eye. She decided to act upon this as to not feed any suspicions; “Do you know what all of that was about?” She leaned over and whispered to the man across the aisle. “I guess they’re looking for a fugitive from California that’s trying to make their way over the pond,” replied the man, his voice a soft and kind whisper.

“Oh, well I hope they find the guy,” said Lily.

“Me too,” said the man.

SPAIN ON THE RUN

6:27 am, Present Day, MIAAirport, Florida

Lily approached her gate in the American Airlines departure section of the Miami

International Airport, and exhaled deep as she saw her flight number on the monitor with the words “On Time” next to it. It was leaving at 8:05 am, and Lily was ready. She was ready to put it all behind her, start a new life born in her most recent Southern California crime sprees, and follow the path that Savage Girl was laying out for her.

She could only look forward, backwards was not an option, nor did it align with her any longer. It was certain that Lily was embarking on a new way of life; tapping into a higher source and being led in the direction of her true path. She must receive and lean into this newness.

Something larger was at the lead and beckoning Lily to follow, which was growing easier and easier for her to do.

Lily noted where the airport’s Norther Terminal location was on a nearby map, and then set out in that direction. She passed other travelers roaming and milling frantically throughout the airport on her way to her gate. With each step that she took, she moved farther and farther away from what she was, and closer and closer to who she was becoming. Acceptance was growing stronger and stronger within Lily, rising with each humid inhale that she took and each step she made.

At her gate, Lily took note of the same crew of airport police talking with other passengers and still trying to track her down. Surely, they know of all her infractions by now.

6:48 am was what read on her watch. A little over an hour to go and I’ll be out of here!

She met the eyes of the man who interacted with her on the plane, they exchanged a brief acknowledgement with a nod of their heads, and just like that, she was approaching her gate with the policemen behind her and the woman over the loudspeaker announcing the pre-boarding for an upcoming flight.

SPANISH ASTROLOGY

10:12 pm, Present Day, Barcelona Airport–El Prat, Spain

Lily arrived at the Barcelona Airport–El Prat a little after 10. She quickly made her way toward what looked like a metro sign as it suddenly hit her; she was in Spain and did not speak

Spanish, at all.

Part of the adventure, I guess, Lily thought as she made a left turn through the maze of people whizzing and flying past her.

Despite everyone staring at her, Lily felt an eerie calm. Weird…I hope I don’t get into trouble here, she predicted.

She stopped in front of a map mounted on the wall between two vending machines and stared at it for about 30 seconds before moving on once more toward the descending escalator.

Not too hard. I hope it stays this easy while I figure out my next move.

She stopped in front of a car bound to arrive in 3.5 minutes while listening to Catalone spoken on the loud-speaker and ruffling through her purse for something to put on her lips.

Catalone ….

Lily kept her luggage between her feet on the ground and peered around anxiously, trying to keep a calm front. She thought she heard people talk to her or about her nearby but then brushed it off as impossible when she remembered once more that she can’t understand what they’re talking about. Holy hell what have I done? The thought came and went through Lilly’s head as if pushed by the oncoming metro car. No time for this now, forge onward!

She mounted the car in what felt like a frenzy of chaos as enormous thoughts disguised in small amour passed through her mind. Why is it so noisy in this car?! Lily was getting sweaty and started squirming in the crowded car, which just ended up drawing more attention to her uncomfortableness.

The car slowed to a screeching stop and Lily could feel her face turning red. Why’s it so fucking hot in here? And, does everybody need to be yelling?! What the hell are they saying?!

The car doors flew open, and herds of people pushed their way in and out. Lily was being shoved near the door before she finally gave in and partly fell out of the car onto the subway stand-point.

Bag in hand and purse over her shoulder, Lily was dizzy from the hot car and decided the best thing would be to get out of the underground subway.

She made her way toward the Salida sign and lugged her belongings up a cement flight of stairs along with about 20 other people.

I need to go lay down, Lily thought as she peaked the staircase. God, this place looks…familiar…

She looked around to see night-bound women wearing neon wigs, men staggering with clear bottles of Coca-Cola that were clearly filled with something else. Taxis flew by and tourists were still taking pictures and wearing shorts with cameras hanging around their necks.

Did I just accidentally find Las Ramblas?

Lily knew that if this was in fact, Las Rambles, there were plenty of English-speaking hostels and tourist-friendly locations nearby to assist her.

She awkwardly carried her only piece of luggage and purse down the middle of Las

Rambles alone, getting many curious stares and unwanted whistles, still unaware completely of the Spanish language. Smart having lived in California my whole life and never studying

Spanish, Lily thought.

She had, however, studied the French language for over 3 years, maybe that would help.

Ever since she could remember, she’d loved French; the language, the culture, the people, everything. Despite never having been to France, or Europe for that matter, Lily’s love affair with the French and her longing for abroad was stronger than anything anybody else could comprehend.

Why the French? They’d ask mockingly, revealing clear opposition to the foreign land.

She would tell others that France was her mother country in a different lifetime. Fortunately, this response usually left bewildered expressions on the receivers’ faces and made them change the subject so they would stop heckling her about her infatuation with the French.

Her first truly inspirational choreographer had lived in France for nearly ten years and was simply amazing. She was beautiful, graceful and danced with an explosion of passion that anybody around could feel the ripple effect.

Everybody watched her dancing and knew that she was secure but not egotistical, passionate but not overbearing, special and didn’t know it. Joy was a true inspiration to watch and extremely talented at what she did, installing an intense love for the art of dance in Lily and making her want to know the secrets that Joy possessed. That began her true obsession with the

French, and for dance. Upon her studies, Lily’s passion for the French culture just continued to grow and inflate.

Lily realized she had made an accidental and forced turn onto a road that sprung from Las

Rambles. Fuck it, she thought, may as well see if there’s a hostel here.

Her search for an inexpensive hostel on Las Rambles was a failure. There were touristy hotels, late-night food wagons and people; that’s it.

The words Sun & Mood Youth Hostile appeared off in the distance on Lily’s left and she exhaled as she headed in the direction of the front door.

STREET BINGE & STOLEN GOODS

10:37 pm – Present Day, Sun & Mood Youth Hostile, Las Rambles, Barcelona

She found the friendly Sun and Moon Hostel and checked in with no problems. A nice

Spanish man even helped her carry her one small duffel bag up the two flights of stairs. Globally, men are all the same.

Lily, still not speaking any Spanish, endured the awkward elevator ride for three floors, then the little Spanish man helped her once more with her one piece of luggage.

“Yeah,” she began, growing more and more irritated with his needless persistence, “I've got it, thank you.” She forcefully took the bag back from him.

Without acknowledgment to Lily's chatter, the little Spanyard fumbled with the key card, turning it from side-to-side, upside down and sideways before the incredibly generic psychiatric ward-looking hostel room door flew open. The room, like the corridor-style hallway they were standing in was mundane, plastered with hues of light and dark blues. From inside the drunken guest-filled room approximately six set of eyes fell upon the little friendly Spanish man in the doorway and Lily directly behind him, face to ceiling and groaning through a childish and exaggerated exhale to display her dismay with the little Spanyard's overzealousness.

As soon as the ambient noise came to a startling halt, Lily's gaze fell from the dried-up spider's web in the right corner on the ceiling, to the pupils of a husky, boyishly handsome twentysomething traveler in a coral T-shirt holding a red plastic cup.

The little Spanyard interrupted the silence by spinning around toward Lily and muttering,

“aqui” as he waddled back down the hall toward the elevator.

For a few brief moments the one female and five male occupants scurried a bit trying to conceal their drinks, then realized that Lily was less than concerned with their alcoholic endeavors in the midst of her fatigued benevolence. She had already swooped up her bag, set it down on the only unoccupied bed, tore it open, grabbed a plain pink tank-top, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

As soon as she got into the bathroom, the lack of prattle and noise from the opposite side of the door compelled her to pause a moment. When she was content with the fact that the posse on the other side of the door were talking about her, Lily continued to wash her face. She gave her reflection a long, pensive stare as the cold water streamed down her face. A sudden surge of adrenaline rushed through her body and settled at the pit of her stomach. Before she could think twice about the stranger who was looking back at her from the mirror, Lily quickly turned and buried her face in the fluffy peach hand towel. She felt relaxed all of three seconds before stark white flashes of Graham's overflowing wallet, Ryder's dismal face on that fire truck, and the ever-present freeway cement wall inching closer and closer to herself and Drake's chopper made her gasp and jump backward, tossing the towel to the floor. She stood for a couple seconds, grabbed her tank top, and willed that pesky and unnerving ball in her stomach that was now succumbing to the fetus, to vanish. It was as strong as ever, unsettling and promising further destruction and upheaval.

Lily’s been down this road before; watching her entire life shatter to nothing and then having to figure out how to pick up the pieces again. Once she learned the hard lessons and turned inwards for her healing, all things seemed golden again. But alas, something would shift, and she would find herself scrambling for air once more, a terrifying cyclical rhythm that she’s grown accustomed to move through. This must be her rock bottom.

She opened the door and nearly fell back onto the bathroom tile floor when she collided with the giant in the coral shirt. He jumped, startled as well.

“Sorry!” He quickly denoted. “My name's Andre. We wanted to know if you wanted to go out with us to Baja?” He motioned past the five other silhouetted figures standing behind him.

They seemed nice enough ... Lily didn't let her mind finish the thought before she burst out with,

“Yeah, sounds fun!”

She not only had no idea who these people were, she didn't even know what they meant by “Baja.” Surely, they weren't about to board a plane and fly halfway around the world to

Mexico?

“My name's Lily, by the way.” She looked up into large Andre's kind and slightly sad eyes, rimmed with hazel and green. “When are we leaving?” She made her way toward them as they each stepped aside.

“Now,” said the only other woman in the room. She was not threatening; Lily was relieved. “... Or if you need a couple minutes ...”

“No, no it's fine.” Lily tossed her bag onto the bed and started carelessly extracting whatever few articles of clothing were still inside before regaining it in an attempt not to make the six clearly-ready-to-depart, rum-filled South Africans wait any longer to head out. She glanced at the round clock on the wall next to her bed as it read 10:52 in huge, blaring red letters.

Lily shouldered her small black duffel bag and followed the party of six out the door like the runt in a pack of kittens.

They had made their way all of two blocks from the hostel and parked in a few lawn chairs at what appeared to be an outdoor restaurant in the middle of the human jungle on Las

Rambles. Each of them had handed Lily a bottle of their mystery-mixed alcohol and she readily accepted. She was slightly awkward, the events of the past few days having run amok in her head and polluting her thoughts. Disconnected and foggy, Lily was sure that the group thought it was jetlag or shyness that crept over her, not the notion of being a fugitive, formerly pregnant and nearly killed. The alcohol helped, and so did Lily's now stifled appetite, having not eaten since the snacks on the airplane.

“So, why'd you decide to come here by yourself?” The borderline obese, blond Sylvia flipped her hair flirtatiously before peering her baby doll eyes at Lily and continuing in her soft, off-beat Cape Town accent; “I mean, aren't you afraid? And not speaking Spanish ...”

“Yeah, a little,” Lily stifled a potentially enormous yawn, “I've already been through kind of a lot in the past few days and just needed a break. You know, from like everyone around me ...

my life.”

“Cheers to that!” The only black man in the group raised his half-filled Snapple bottle and took a huge swig. One by one they all followed, making absolutely sure that Lily took part in the action through random Gatorade, Sprite and Vitamin Water alcohol-filled chugs. Lily cringed after the final swig.

“Damn, you got some balls girl,” The only extremely handsome one in the group exclaimed. He looked exotic, Italian. But Lily was slightly turned off by the fact that he was aware of this through the expression of a feminine white buttoned shirt that revealed his muscles.

“You have no idea ...” Lily muttered into the top of the potent Coke bottle. All eyes on her once again; “Hey, aren't we looking for a cab? There's like a cluster-fuck of them over there,” she divergently pointed behind Sylvia and the hot Italian across the table from her.

They hailed that cab, gathered up their belongings and headed off to a nearby nightclub.

By the time they had gotten to the wildly popular and bumping Baja nightclub, Lily could barely focus on one spot. Torn between what she had done to herself and others over the past few days disguised as a lifetime, and the coiling, growing murky intuition strangling the already dead fetus in the pit of her stomach, Lily found herself volunteering for the hot-seat all night and initiating everything. There was an eerie comfortableness in the chaos surrounding the immediate future.

She couldn’t play it safe, not any longer. She couldn't help but feel in charge and out of control at the same time, whole-heartedly welcoming the mess ahead.

Baja was nothing extraordinary of the typical dimly lit purple and green nightclub with cold, white and angular architecture scattered on the inside in an attempt to look modern and chic, except for the beach that crept to its back doors. It landed itself disturbingly familiar to Lily.

A deafening déjà vu set in. She got twinkles of past life traumas and inklings of belonging exactly in the moment at hand between drowning her memories and sins in various forms of mixed-drinks.

Andre must have felt Lily's growing angst through osmosis because merely a few sweaty dance-saturated and distant eye-contact hours later, he grabbed her for an early morning walk along the beach. She smiled as she grabbed her bag from the bag-check.

They laughed, fell over, pushed each other out of the back door of the club and onto the sand, and climbed a fence to leave the property. A security guard began chasing after them, yelling something in Spanish, but they were already sloppily running down the beach in the trawls of drunken hiccups and splashing sand.

Andre shoved Lily into the cold sand, so she tripped him and burst into a flurry of laughter. His large body came toppling down on her and they laughed even harder. Before she could realize what was going on, she felt a sloppy wet tongue enter her mouth.

He was a good drunk-kisser, but after a few seconds of what felt like a millennium, she was bored numb again. Lily tried to control her mind wandering from place to place over the events of the past few days while he tried to roll both their bodies around in a passionate makeout sand session. It was useless to try and stay in the moment, so she just gave in to the replay button in her mind.

After some time, Lily wrestled with the nausea churning in her stomach. The mixture of too much alcohol, unwarranted inner angst, dead fetus and nasty drunk-man-slobber was taking its toll on her. She could only handle it a few seconds longer before something was about to explode. Within a nano-second she threw Andre off her, sat up and shouted, “I'm freezing. Can you grab my jacket from my bag?”

Without having realized they were making out, or stopped, Andre sat up and threw a hand down to his right side in search of her bag. “Oh shit ... um ... your bag's not here,” he breathed.

“What?!” Lily suddenly lost her buzz, all sickness dissipated. “Well, where the hell is it?

It was just by you, yeah?”

“Yeah but – hey wait a minute!” Lily followed Andre's squinted glare in the direction of two conspicuous characters fleeing toward the sidewalk next to Baja.

“Mother fuckers!” Lily jumped to her feet and landed upon sprinting legs. She immediately recognized the frustrating feeling of trudging relentlessly through unforgiving, thick sand, and not getting anywhere. Spitz of sand flew up her legs and mocked her hard work.

The two men were almost at the sidewalk. She gained on them furiously and looked back to Andre who was sloppily wailing after her. Once they made it to the sidewalk, the two men set down Lily's little black bag and loomed over it, subtly deciding who was going to do the honors of extracting her wallet, keys, passport, cell phone, makeup, mp3 player, camera and address book. Fuckers!

They looked up from crouching over the duffel bag to see Lily leap onto the sidewalk and lunge through the air after them. In a frantic and completely justified panic, she landed in a tangle with the two Moroccan thieves and her bag. Somehow both of them managed to slither out of the mess and scatter in the two different directions of the sidewalk, one with the duffel bag undertow. They were shouting to each other over Lily in Arabic, but to her surprise not fleeing.

She felt a large hand grasp her shoulder and she slapped it off before turning back around toward the beach. Andre was already scouting the situation.

“I'll take that one, you take that one,” Andre was pointing left, past Lily and to the runaway thief behind her. This culprit was the one with her bag, but the other, smaller Moroccan looked like the leader. “Gladly” Lily seethed through gritted teeth.

They split up and Lily took off after the skinny stealer. About 50 yards ahead of her, he stopped, bent down toward the cement wall bordering the road, picked something up, turned around and directly faced Lily, grinning creepily. She ran harder and faster, a matter of feet from him now; heavy breath, pounding feet and long, dark hair trailing behind her. The representation of mysterious feminine, Savage Girl, imaged through Lily's mind, promising leadership if Lily officially surrendered. Surrender to the calls, surrender to the darkness, surrender to the goddess.

With mighty force, the thief heaved his right arm back and hurled a thick empty wine bottle straight at Lily's head. She barely had time to process the shimmering bottle's image sail through the air towards her before a sharp pain ferociously tore through her forehead.

BAD KARMA

3:14 am – Present Day, Las Rambles, Barcelona

Savage Girl gracefully stormed through Lily's mind, picking up exactly where she left off as whispers blew around her now sharpened image. Lily watched as her own arm stretched out in the direction of the simple blond beauty. She didn't flinch. Savage Girl just kept running, passing hundreds and hundreds of luscious trees and stomping through countless brush barefoot. Her melodically thunderous breathing and frantically focused gaze to what lie ahead made Lily question whether she was running toward something, or away from something. In a fleeting instant, Savage Girl looked complacently through Lily, unruly blond dread locks slapped across her cheeks wildly, but in a blur shifted her attention back to her frenetic running. This time no communication, just a gaze as she flew past. Lily grew suddenly dizzy and longed for more but felt herself involuntarily sucked through a maze of fuzzy stars and spit back out onto the cold, stark sidewalk of reality in Barcelona.

“Usted. Va hasta el camino y consigue el policía derecha allí esta muchacha necesita muchos de ayuda,” the young Spanish woman who was sitting Indian style on the sidewalk and holding Lily's bloody head pointed over the wall to a parked police car with flashing lights while directing someone in Spanish. The woman was not much older than Lily, if at all. She was motherly and smelled of baby powder undertones. He long dark hair softly brushed against Lily's own hairline that was soaked in blood.

The woman noticed Lily's squirming and quickly countered, “No se mueva! Usted era inconsciente violentamente atacado y golpeado justo. El policía está viniendo y envié a alguien después del hombre que hizo esto a usted.”

“What?!” Lily began to shift into an upright position in the woman's lap but physical protesting prevented further movement. She was now rambling in Spanish, clearly trying to get

Lily to sit still while a splitting headache threatened Lily's judgment and blood streamed down her face. She could physically feel the chaos surround her as someone emerged from the crowded circle to translate; “What she's trying to say is that you were just badly attacked and she's sent someone to go get the police. She doesn't want you to move because it could cause more damage.” The man was older, and very short.

Lily collapsed back into the kind woman's lap and looked up at her upside-down concerned face expression. Slightly behind the woman's head a figurine-sized Andre stood upside-down yards away from this scene on the same sidewalk in Lily's vision. His back was facing her until two policemen followed a scared local down a flight of stairs and straight toward

Lily's disaster. Andre's eyes followed the crew to where Lily lie in the woman's lap and she felt his astonishment as the scene unfolded in front of him.

She could see his eyes grow wider even from as far apart as they were, then he turned around, presumably to wrap up the bartering debate with the second thief before rushing over to investigate, but he was gone. Lily saw Andre's hands go up to his head and his mannerisms scream in fury. She let her gaze fall back to the woman who was watching the two policemen push past the crowd and enter the scene. The scared Spanyard fell back into the circle with the rest of the bystanders.

Lily was growing increasingly antsy as she pictured the two Moroccans meeting up a few blocks away and carelessly rummaging through her bag. She could feel her temperature rise and her face heat up in red.

While one of the policemen gathered Lily from the ground, the other sorted out the randomly placed witnesses. Lily's policeman was firing a series of questions at her while easing her out of the limelight and into the area where a couple cop cars sat with flashing lights. He had her arm around his neck and was nearly dragging her when she felt someone following them.

She looked to her right and saw Andre sheepishly sauntering toward them as the cop feebly attempted humor through his almost seamless English in order to make her feel more comfortable. She had no idea what he was talking about.

Andre wandered up the stairs a couple feet behind them and landed himself precariously under the orange glow of a streetlamp over one of the cop cars. Lily could see a shiny Fidel written on the cop's brass badge, and for the first time since he'd been helping her, she could scarcely make out his chiseled features. He was young and had a strong jawline. Very kind eyes but very naïve disposition, Lily felt a sense of guilt consume her. Fidel was not jaded, but he was not shaken by what he saw. He was pure.

He said something to her in Spanish as he opened the driver's door of the police car in front of the one Lily was now lying in the backseat of, doors open and wet cloth spread across her forehead, and reached for his radio. She wondered when she'd see the top of Andre's head transcend over the car's ceiling. A few moments later, his dusty blond head appeared. “What the hell happened?! Are you ok?”

“How do I look?!” Lily tried to conceal her brash response, “I mean, that bastard chucked a bottle at my head!”

“Holy shit!” Andre now peered into the car as Lily lie there, for the first time in days on the brink of tears. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, they robbed me too.”

Andre divulged his extremely unsuccessful attempt at retrieving Lily's belongings, and explained that in the heat of the bribe, he had managed to get tricked and pick-pocketed by the haggler himself. When he mentioned to the Moroccan that he noticed his camera was gone, that aggravated the situation even more and nearly caused a fist fight. So instead of risk the little progress he had made, Andre aimlessly continued in the effort of obtaining her stuff. He said a minute later he noticed his cell phone went suddenly missing from his pocket, and then he saw the two policemen fly down the stairs and realized that Lily was hurt on the ground after it was too late; the Moroccan had fled. She held her leg from flying up and kicking Andre in the balls.

Moron!

Fidel came back over to the car, bantered with Andre for a bit in Spanish, laughed once, looked at Lily and climbed into the driver's seat.

“He's taking us to the police station so you can make a report and they can take care of your head!” Andre's eyes were glittered with hope as he stuck his body into Lily's view from outside of the vehicle. “But that means you have to get in the car.”

Lily sat up, swung her legs into the car and let Andre shut the door as he walked around the back of the car. “How's the head?” Fidel adjusted the rear-view mirror to meet Lily's eyes.

“I'll be ok,” Lily muttered while Andre entered the other side of the car.

“Good. We'll get you taken care of back at the station then,” Fidel readjusted his mirror and revved the ignition. Andre placed his large hand atop Lily's right knee, and she could feel a trickle of her own blood run down the hand holding the cloth to her head as her right eye began to twitch. She looked out of her window through the misty Barcelona sunrise at a dark forest-like park in the distance draped with a damp haze. Through the haze and the melted willows, Lily watched Savage Girl streak through the trees. She smiled.

The gravel under the car's tire popped and munched as they pulled into the police station at 4:36 am. Lily and Andre drifted in and out of consciousness in the back seat the duration of the car ride.

Fidel opened both car doors and Lily fell out, hand still pressed to her forehead. Andre came to her and carried her the same way Fidel had done previous as they followed him into the police station. Upon entering the large and barren office, Lily noticed a multitude of distraught tourists and hopeless victims. A surge of anger pulsed through her veins once more.

Fidel explained something to Andre in Spanish as he eased Lily down onto one of the hard plastic waiting chairs. She slumped into it and closed her eyes.

A few minutes later she felt a tap on the shoulder. Lily opened her eyes to see Andre holding a piece of paper. “I'll fill this out for you,” he said. “Just gotta give me the info.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she felt the goosebumps creep over her entire body and closed her eyes again as Andre's voice guide her one-word answers well into mid-morning.

BEACH BREEZY

10:27 am – Present Day, Police Station, Barcelona

Finally, Lily drearily signed the police report. It was late Easter Sunday morning.

Andre and Lily sleepily stammered through the large sliding glass doors to the very sunny Barcelona morning. It was hot, the kind of day families spend at huge lakes with water tubes. Lily swore she could even hear children screaming with delight and splashing through the water in the distance.

The walk back to the hostel was filled with mass contemplation and gluing her eyes to the tops of her strappy sandals, except for one vibrantly colored advertisement plastered along a brick wall that read, “World Champions Dance Convention, Lloret de Mar.” The promotion had three bright and seductive dancers twirling across a stage that was receding into large bouquets of tropical roses. Lily watched as the sexy advertisement slid past her view and into her peripherals. She directed her attention back to her toes.

Once at the hostel, in silence, Andre sulked as he opened the door for her. “So...are you hungry?” he asked, while Lily sauntered past him and into the room.

“Yeah, actually I am,” Lily, now with no other form of responsibility than herself, stood, looked down on the bed at the spotlessly clean bed spread, and turned back around to walk out the door past Andre once again.

“I'll buy,” Andre joked awkwardly as he let the door shut behind him.

Despite the wretched events of the days prior, this one was sweeter than the rest. It was luminous and smelled of burning leaves mixed with wafts of jasmine, threatening to make Lily forget all her worries. She noticed the actual mood and tone of the day was set to relax, and everyone in the enormous city was abiding by this rule. Stripped of nearly everything and leaning into a usual sense of liberation at the freedom of not being tied to anything, material or otherwise, Lily had no choice but to exhale a bit herself as she slumped into the large taxi seat.

Abruptly, and without intention, she let out a sharp and guttural laugh that made Andre and the taxi driver jump. He turned and looked at her through rampantly confused eyes while huge purple roses and blue sky scurried past the window behind him.

“What's so funny?” It was as if Andre desperately wanted to be included in the inside joke between Lily and herself, after a horrendous night where he was reminded of his irresponsibility in allowing her belongings to get stolen.

“Oh, nothing,” Lily was staring out her window at the many tourists with cameras passing by, “I just needed a laugh.” Truthfully, Lily didn’t know why she laughed, except that a new lightness was creeping in; the dawning of a new era so obvious that there was nothing to do but embrace it.

“Oh...” Andre quietly replied, unsure if joining her would be inappropriate. The rest of the car ride to the local tourist beach was filled with silence. The pulled up to a row of beachy restaurants as Andre reached for his wallet. He spoke Spanish to the taxi driver before handing over a small wad of crumpled up euros. She wasn't the least bit guilty like she would have been if they were on a date, or he was paying for a movie or something. She actually felt a little happy about seeing Andre dole out money on her behalf and wondered if he'd spend more on her. Must be this demon seed talking, Lily rubbed her little belly as her and Andre hopped out of the taxi and made their way towards a small hipster diner.

Lunch maintained an air of tension as the banter about what Lily should do to get her identity papers, money and everything else back hovered around their table. “We need to get you to the U.S. Embassy!” Andre would push. “No, no. We don't, it's ok. It's a holiday anyway.” Lily would retort. “Well, what the hell are you going to do about your passport then?” He would demand. “I'll just go on my own like tomorrow or something...” She would wearily reply. Lucky for Lily it was a holiday, so she wasn’t as concerned about money being withdrawn from her account.

After lunch, they strolled across the street and onto the hot sand. Lily’s eyelids were heavy, and her entire body relaxed into the warm sand once her and Andre chose a spot to settle.

The sand swallowed and surrounded her like a warm blanket. It felt nice. Dozing in and out of sleep for the better part of two hours, she knew, would lend itself beneficial for her tan, but simply postponing the inevitable in the long run. She would have to figure out what to do for the evening eventually.

The wind picked up a bit and the sun started to descend in the sky behind a large mountain range that peeked over the water in the distance. Mid-daze, Lily had a sudden brainstorm; she remembered the billboard for that mammoth dance convention in Lloret de Mar from earlier that day. It was a little beach town in Costa Brava, about 48 miles outside of

Barcelona. She could go there and wait out the night until the US Embassy opened the next day.

Perfect!

As the sun began to descend into late afternoon, Lily divulged her plans to Andre, who out of sheer guilt, agreed that it would be a good idea for her to go try and enjoy herself doing something that she loved; anything dance-related. They decided to make their way to the charter bus location where Lily could catch a ride to Lloret de Mar and arrive right before the dance convention started.

“Andre, really, you don't have to do this,” Lily lied as he shoved 250 euro at her once more.

“Yes, yes, I really do. It's completely my fault that you were robbed. This is the least I can do,” He unwrapped her hand and slapped down the two hundred and three fifty-euro bills on her palm. She smiled coyly up at him and even leaned up to give him a little peck on the cheek, hoping all the while that he couldn't see through her bluff. “I mean, you already booked and paid for the hotel on your credit card for me,” Lily batted her eyelids at Andre.

They held an uncomfortably close and penetrating eye contact for a while before Andre finally leaned down and bid her a farewell kiss right on the lips. Lily's first reaction was to turn away in disgust but remembered that he had just slapped down 250 euros cash into her palm.

The kiss was soft and tasted sweet. It lasted probably no more than a few seconds, but it felt like a lot longer to her. People began boarding the bus behind her, so Lily turned away from

Andre until she realized they were still holding hands. She smiled awkwardly, trying to pry her hands away, while she climbed the bus. She walked to the middle-back of the nearly empty bus, took a window seat, and plopped down on the large, soft, bed-like cushion. She peered through the window at Andre standing against the dusk backdrop, waving, and fell asleep to the low rumble of the bus engine purring.

* * * * *

Beating, beating, beating. The sound of her pounding feet against the brush came from behind Lily. She suddenly turned to see Savage Girl run like a flash past her. Golden streaks of dread lock, bronzed soft skin, and forest green spritzes were all Lily could take from the image.

Pounding, pounding, pounding. It came fiercer this time, from the side of her now. The pounding stopped and Lily turned to look in the direction it was coming from.

“Soyez averti; engendré du mal qu'il a été couru. Course, course, course! Votre temps est proche et libre vous deviendrez,” Savage Girl hissed viscously at Lily. Lily recognized this language immediately; it was French. Perfect French. She rewound the phrase in her head and deciphered it as; “Be warned, spawned from evil it was. Run, run, run! Your time is near and free you will become.”

Before Lily could react to the Savage Girl or prob her on for more information, she was gone. Lily began to run after Savage Girl in hopes of more description, but she couldn't find her through the thick maze of green jungle. She looked down at her body and saw she was now just covered in viney leaves that wrapped around her. Her hair fell long, over her breasts. She looked up and ran straight and ran hard. Finally, Lily stopped. It was the same scenery every time she saw Savage Girl, but she could not make her way through the mess of vines and brush obstructing her.

Panting, pounding, breathing, beating. Lily turned to the noises, but nothing. Suddenly the same sounds came at her from a different angle, then again from a different angle, until she finally spun around and saw that in all directions, to all sides of her, she was surrounded with green jungle. She stood, listening to Savage Girl defy all that was logical and take on simultaneous angles and directions, panting, pounding, breathing, beating. It was covering her like a wool blanket through surround-sound. Then it stopped. Carefully and cautiously, Lily slowly turned around. Savage Girl, with eve-length dread locks and cat-like quickness, pounced straight onto Lily. She possessed the pupils of a snake. Lily screamed and protected her face with her hands.

* * * * *

Lily gasped loudly as she jerked herself awake. She'd knocked her feet from where they rested on the headrest of the seat in front of her against the window. She sat there, adrenaline pulsing through her veins, then once again heard, “All ready? We are here,” from the driver. Lily looked around the bus and noticed that they had already made their destination. She sighed, what the hell was all that about? She smiled as she stood up, stretched and made her way to the front of the bus.

“I take you to Lloret, yes?” The bus driver was a sweet older matriarchal woman. She began to laugh, “you were asleep whole time, and scream a lot!” Lily laughed with the woman before descending down the stairs. “Thank you!” she shouted up to the woman who was now gathering her stuff from the driver's seat in front of a red digital clock that read 6:28. The woman, still smiling, gave her a nod.

Lily felt the cool air breeze by her and took in the salty seawater smell with one large inhale. She stood at the base of the stairs of the bus for a couple seconds, contemplating how she's going to leverage those 250 euros into something more useful to her. No baggage, no responsibility, Lily was starting to get used to the prolonged feeling of liberation. She breathed in heavily once more and couldn't help but smile. She stifled a laugh before stretching once more and heading in the direction of the misty, beachy Lloret de Mar.

COUCH HOP & HOMER’S BAR

6:36 Pm – Present Day, Lloret de Mar

Lily walked in peace toward what looked like a bustling little beach town filled with collegiate party animals. A sense of calm and comfort coursed through her veins and she flashed a huge, toothy smile toward anyone watching. It happened to be a cluster of mixed gender drunks roaming the streets in front of what looked like an amusement center.

“Hey!” They all shouted as they held up their designated beverages in a toast toward Lily.

She giggled and turned a corner around a colorful garden that was still in bloom from the gorgeous beach day Lloret experienced hours earlier. The garden that Lily followed along the sidewalk spanned the entire block and held deliciously brilliant flowers and lush vegetation. It was a mellow, relaxing garden with a storybook atmosphere. Lily wanted to hop the fence and follow the little white fantasy Christmas lights that lined a dreamy path inside.

She rounded the second corner and was now wondering why there was no entrance into the hotel when there it was peeking through the colorful garden sanctuary. The Spanish hotel was named Sacred Rose and concealed a modest yet tidy patio. There was a little gate Lily opened to walk along the mosaic path to the stained glass rose embedded in the front door of the hotel.

For the first time in a long time, she felt like a princess in an enchanted fairy tale. Lily outstretched her arms, opened her palms and let the potent, silky flowers brush against her free skin. She was liberated from any burdens or responsibilities and felt blessed that she had 250 euro to do with what she wanted. Suddenly she had a fleeting and powerful sensation pump through her body to donate all of it to a local women's shelter. What she had been through over the past near week was cultivating a transformation within Lily, one of which Savage Girl was reinforcing in her subconscious. Lily smiled as she turned the door handle to the magical hotel.

She felt alive, free, generous and gorgeous.

“Hi. I have a reservation under the name Maria Miller,” Lily flashed a charming smile to the man behind the desk. He looked up at her, apathetic at her new-found love and appreciation of life that radiated from her every pore. “Let me see here,” he rolled an office chair over to the computer that sat next to him on the desk and began typing on the keyboard in furious determination. Lily watched his busy fingers neatly hit each key while his bushy eyebrows pinched together in the middle of his forehead. He had small and structured facial features and looked a cross between Middle Eastern and Spanish. Slightly exotic but well put together, he was very relaxed and routine, like he had done this a million times before.

“Ok, great,” he stood up to about Lily's chin and from behind the counter he pulled out two pieces of paper from the printer's tray and set them down on the counter in front of both of them. The top one held a layout of the hotel. “We're here in the lobby,” he circled the word

'lobby' in the center of the black and white maze and continued; “Your room is here, on the third floor. Number 318. That'll be 179 euro please,” he shuffled the top paper to the bottom of the stack of two and revealed the detailed room description with price. Lily felt her eyes grow wider,

“Ummm...”

“What's the matter?” the man questioned after a moment of silence where Lily just stared at the number '179' written on the page beneath her.

“I thought the room was already paid for.” She wasn't sure if that sounded like a question or a statement.

“Well, ma'am, we don't charge for rooms until you get here. You must have paid the deposit, we do charge that before you arrive,” the man responded, finally shifting enough for

Lily to see his bronzed name tag that read Saul. He stared at her blankly for a couple seconds before prompting; “If you would like to use the telephone to call somebody, there is a phone behind you ...”

“Uh, yeah, I guess that can help,” Lily lied. She had no one she could call. She began to feel the hot tears well up in her eyes and a dizziness rush over her. She slowly backed away from the counter and walked over to the nook that contained the phone. The hotel had a calming peach hue that engulfed every detail and promised satisfaction as well as relief to any tired traveler or tourist. The Spanish tile floors and adobe walls provided refuge for the forsaken or lost, and images of flowers along with the real thing scattered throughout the lobby promising to make the weary feel at ease. Lily did not feel at ease as she grabbed the receiver to the vintage rotary phone and let the dial tone fill her ear. She stood there, one hot tear after another falling from her eyes, without a sound, without a clue. After about a minute she hung up the receiver and stood, still facing the wall, burring her face in her hands. She suddenly allowed a rage of anger flush through her, and the haunting image of Savage Girl run past her closed eyelids with a dead baby in her hands.

Flashes of the Moroccan thief bending down to thrust a large, empty wine bottle at her;

Clyde's perverted face in trying to get Lily to do a line of cocaine from his cock; and the two homeless men with the drugs in the park filled her eyelids in place of darkness. She would have rather seen the darkness, and as soon as these images passed, she had to hold back a scream.

Rage burned itself up from her toes and filled her body once more, a feeling very frequent in the past few days. Lily felt herself scowl into her hands.

With stark determination and an anger expressed on her face that would terrify a serial killer, Lily, free of all baggage, started to storm toward the front door of the hotel in search of another, cheaper place to stay for the night. Her mind began computing numbers as she only had

250 euro to live off indefinitely. Fuck!

“Ma'am. Ma'am!” The orderly concierge was reaching over the counter toward her, waving her his way.

“Yes,” she stood, body facing the door and longing for the air outside, left cheek toward the man, curious as to what he wanted.

“I checked to see if we had any vacant rooms tonight...” he enticed her. Lily reluctantly moved toward him. “We don't,” he continued calmly, “but I don't mind if you want to stay on the couch.” Saul motioned to his left where a seating area was filled with red plush velvet couches and love chairs. There was a cozy fireplace in the Victorian furnished and decorated waiting area.

The large rug on the floor and the impressionist painting of a woman walking a dog along a dirt path in a tree-filled neighborhood, and above the mantel over the fireplace harbored splashes of the same peachy color that the rest of the hotel emanated. This looked like a five-star hotel to

Lily's sore eyes, and she suddenly realized how tired she was.

“Is that ok?” she turned back toward the man who was eagerly awaiting her reply.

“Well, I need to check with our night manager, but I think he will be ok with it. Plus, it is a holiday weekend, and you probably will not find any hotel or hostel that will be vacant for much cheaper than we are.” He had a good point.

“Ok,” Lily sighed to herself, “thank you so much!” A smile quivered at the corners of her mouth as she approached Saul behind the counter.

“No luggage?” He questioned.

“Nope. Just me,” She gave the kind Saul a relaxed smile.

“Ok. That makes things very easy for us. Let me go tell the manager and I will be back to let you know if it is ok,” Saul walked to the end of the counter where an opened back room gave the employees a place to take a break. Lily walked over to the seating area and plopped herself down on the soft love seat couch facing away from the door. Various tourists and visitors were coming in and out during that time, an evening typically reserved for diners and drinks.

Normally, she would have felt slightly shy and ashamed to be in the situation she was in had the events over the past few days not occurred. Now, she felt like an entirely new person. That relief and gratitude mixed with a lucky feeling began to well up inside her once more and she couldn't help but smile. She let herself sink into the big warm couch.

Moments later, a flurry of adolescent girls in matching leotards and dance competition costumes came tearing through the doors. This happened a few more times before Lily realized that this hotel must be where the dance competitors that she had come to see were staying. The irony!

She watched them come into the hotel from her position on the couch, unable to get up or move in fear of not being allowed back. Then, 30 minutes later she would watch the same group of excited dancers leave the hotel with evening wear on. This went on until about 8 pm, all the while a large, oversized analog clock near the fireplace mocked her.

She was startled by Saul reaching over the couch to hand her a glass filled with fizzy dark liquid and a navy-blue fleece blanket draped over his arm.

“Ma'am,” he began coyly, “my manager said it was ok for you to stay the rest of the night here and told me to give you a blanket and a glass of cola.”

He set down the cola on top a coaster on the mantel and politely spread the blanket out over Lily's legs, which were resting exactly where she left them on the coffee table in front of her. She quickly let them fall to the ground and replied, “oh ... um, thank you so much! And please, tell your manager thank you also.”

As Saul walked away toward the counter and Lily was settling herself into the larger of the two couches, she let the warmth of human compassion seep into her flesh like osmosis. She nestled into a soft groove of the couch and let herself fully succumb to the moment. She thought of innocent Drake and his mangled motorcycle, poor Graham and his now missing wallet, and sweet Andre's generosity in lieu of Saul's kindness toward a complete stranger and wondered how people in this world can be so completely different than one another. A mere moment prior and she was furious with the thought of a few disgusting humans, then some compassion and love later, and her disposition toward mankind had completely changed. That's so strange ... Lily let this thought circle in her mind as she dozed off, the sound of an unnamed classical ballad lightly playing in the background. I wonder which category I fall into? What constitutes a good person? She, again, let her eyes well up with hot tears and one slowly crawled down her cheek onto the red velvet couch pillow under her head.

* * * * *

Lily peeked her eyes open to what sounded like a vacuum cleaner buzzing in the distance.

She did not have a Savage Girl dream that night, but rather a stark blackness that swallowed her fully and gave her a bit of grogginess upon waking.

As soon as she let the sleep wash over her, flow through her body and out her fingers and toes, she let out a deep, long and slow sigh. It blanketed her in a warm tingle, and before she knew it, she was rampantly peeling back the blanket that Saul had given to her and heading straight toward the lobby bathroom. The hum of the vacuum drew itself near her and she ducked feverishly into the rosy ceramic tiled bathroom. She stood a moment in front of the mirror and watched her reflection makes accusations back at her. She was being haunted by her own image.

It looked peaceful and relaxed, more rested than it had in weeks. Was there even a before dead fetus? There was no going back.

Lily couldn't fathom her own question, but she did recognize this distant feeling as one of pure happiness, buried under layers of excess and unnecessary conditioning. No strings attached, unabridged delight. She decided not to push her luck and as soon as the vacuuming stopped, she ran back out through the doors and rounded the corner back into the lobby. Anything is possible!

She smiled as she glanced over toward the couch one last time.

She was the only one in the lobby, and the clock behind the counter read 8:32 am. Lily gave one more sigh and one more huge smile before shoving open the doors to the wonderland awaiting outside that contained beams of light and birds chirping in trees. She swore if she stared hard and long enough, Lily could probably even see a Bambi-like fawn cross her path.

She strolled along the sweet, flower-saturated cement walkway from the hotel, and with no destination in mind, she opened the gate and released herself to the crisp morning. She walked like that for a few minutes, sauntering down each sidewalk like it were a museum, and reveling in the silence that an early morning after a night of drinking lends itself to party-goers in a bumping and touristy beach town.

Lily walked a couple more blocks in solitude before the glittering sign of a trendy little coffee shop popped out from behind a multi-green ivory bush. It read 'Patty's,' plain, chic and simple, plus a dash of glitter. Lily found herself both drawn to the ambiance of this little coffee oasis and to the smell of a freshly brewed roast. She was being pulled to this place like steel to magnets.

Inside the clean and new Patty's, Lily ordered a small, double latte. She smiled at the thought that a non-fat didn't mean anything to her any longer as her own diet, coming unraveled, has provided a far more successful weight-loss in her darkest hour than anything she's ever tried, ever. Lily smiled again, on top of the world where she would live in peace with her unborn baby,

Savage Girl and herself untouched by the torturous grip of reality.

“Here you are, ma'am,” the very kind Irish Patty reached over the pastel pink counter toward Lily and gave her one of those smiles that would be imprinted on Lily's mind for a lifetime.

“Thank you,” Lily gave one right back. Why can't all human interactions be that pleasant? Lily wondered as she headed back out to the bright Lloret morning.

She found a park bench another couple of blocks from Patty's, slightly inland. It was inviting; black steel iron warmed by the hot sun quietly waiting for Lily among a street tucked away in tranquility. She moseyed over to the bench and sat down to contemplate her next move.

Aside from why Savage Girl hadn't visited Lily that night, the word 'job' consumed her thoughts.

Maybe she could stay and work in Lloret. Didn't matter that she didn't speak Spanish…maybe… a handful of the few people she'd interacted with already had been from England, Ireland or

Australia, among other countries where they spoke predominantly English. Lily sat on this idea for a minute, twirling the rim of the bottom of her paper coffee cup around her finger and letting the thoughts resonate within her mind.

“Bon apetit!” a robust, middle-aged man shouted as he waddled toward Lily from

Homer's Bar across the street. An animated image of Homer Simpson's bust sat next to the sign, and Lily could make out little Simpsons paraphernalia from inside the dim-lit bar behind the large man.

“Merci,” Lily whispered loudly as she bent her head down toward her coffee cup once more. Oh God! He's coming over here!

“You’re French?!” He shouted through a thick Irish accent, stopping dead in his tracks and wearing a look of surprise as if he had not expected Lily to respond in French to the French greeting.

“Nope, American.” She kept her eyes glued upon the lid of her cup in a subtle but clear disinterest to the man's advances, but he continued to walk toward her. He was now almost toeto-toe with her. “You look sad,” he tilted his head a bit to the right, trying to catch Lily's eyes somewhere upon her paper coffee cup, “why are you here?”

“You want the truth?” She squinted up to the gleaming sun shooting out from behind the man.

“Well ... yeah,” the man shrugged at Lily. “Can't be that bad. I mean, maybe I can help.”

It was the first time since her life had exploded less than a week prior, that Lily confessed everything in sequential order to another human being. She began with the dead fetus, then went into talking about the Body Shop, finishing with her stay at the Sacred Rose hotel via bus ride from the thief-ridden streets of Barcelona. By the time she was done with her story, she found herself across the street sitting on a barstool in Homer’s Bar with Paul behind the counter. Every once in a while, there he stood, directly across from her over the dark varnished maple bar, face paralyzed in shock. Finally, after some time, Paul replied with, “Are you serious? All that happened to you ... within the past week?!”

Paul was a humble man of approximately 35 years old. He was robust and had modest red freckles scattered on his exposed limbs. He gave the impression of being a happy bachelor, although his eyes were droopy and bore a slight sadness. He pointed out a purple scar on his right shin to Lily and credited it to a shard of flying shrapnel from the war. “I was in the middle of a rescue when, BAM! There it was, lodged into my leg,” Paul animated the scar's history.

Lily was mid-swig from her pint of Stella while she let the buzz sprinkle over her like water falling upon a bed of grass. She stopped listening to Paul back when he was just a Cadet.

Somewhere along the story he graduated to Commandant.

She sighed, looked over at a clock on the wall that read 11:48 am, then stated; “I'm not too happy about what I've done, but I'll admit something to you; it gets easier and easier to maneuver once you're here, and on top of it all, I've never felt so free in my life. I've got a blank canvas ahead of me to do what I want with. It's terrifyingly liberating, Paul.” Lily went to take another sip from her Stella, then decided to slow down as it hadn’t even reached noon yet.

“Freedom is a beautiful and liberating thing!” Paul gave Lily an ear-to-ear smile as a stream of the dark ale ran over his fingers and he took a huge swig. She followed his lead and let out a little chuckle before putting the cold glass to her lips and watching the sip of golden beer disappear from the bottom of her glass.

“Looks like it's time for another, Darlin',” Paul was still standing toward her, smiling.

“Well look at it this way; you're among family now, everything you need is taken care of and you're totally safe. Feel free to do whatever you want. Hell, stay with me tonight and worry about everything tomorrow!” He was holding the tilted glass toward the beer spout at the front of the bar and looking over his shoulder toward Lily who was sitting on the side of the dark bar right in front of the entrance. She perched on her bar stool, relieved to hear such comforting things from a friendly face in a language she knew well. Bursts of groans and shouts came from a few scattered men around the bar despite the time as they watched something on TV, then laughter and feeble insults sprouted around the bar from place to place. “Football – or for you, soccer – playoffs,” Paul said as he slammed Lily's Stella down onto the counter in front of her.

STUCK HEROS

8:37 Pm – Present Day, Lloret de Mar

The night descended into a massive blur of colors and spins for Lily. She could make out one conversation she had with multiple people involving her working for the bar until she found a new form of income, if in fact she did. They laughed a lot and she hung on Paul for stability.

He introduced her to people and in her tall black boots, Lily drunkenly tripped over the cobblestone lining the streets. There weren't too many people out and it was a hot night. The further in time they traveled, the less Lily could remember. Glimpses of her naked body tied to a chair fluttered back to her. Open window. Faded struggles and muffled laughter. Heavy naked

Paul and empty pill bottles. Liquid acid and rope. Breaking glass and jerked movements. Pain and pleasure; distortion and hallucination. Lily's face burned quickly with an anonymous sting that had slapped her hard. No struggle, just surrender. Sheets, clothes, white powder ...

* * * * *

Savage Girl ran toward Lily, heavy breathing. She was more vivid and in focus, frantically running more primitive, primal than before, and Lily felt strangely attracted to her;

compelled to approach Savage Girl. She came nose to nose with Lily and with one swift movement, bit her shoulder with such ferociousness it drew blood. Lily tried to scream but nothing came out. No matter how hard she pushed, nothing came out, not a sound. Savage Girl just stood, calm and cool, staring at Lily straight in the eyes. She lifted Lily's limp, bloody baby and without a sound, held it draped over her arms in front of Lily, the same stoic and expressionless look on her face.

“Oh my god!” Lily took a huge step back and covered her mouth with both hands. She couldn't control the tears that began to stream from her face. Everything turned white except for the image of Savage Girl and the baby.

“C'est ce qui vous avait infesté,” Savage Girl explained, then ran off cradling Lily's dead, unborn child.

* * * * *

Lily's eyes fluttered open wildly. It took a minute before she realized she was lying naked in a large bed next to Paul's also naked body. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened the night before, but she did know that it involved a lot of drugs and potentially some torture, physical experimentation. Lily did not let her mind wander much farther before throwing back the covers to the bed and hopping out, uninterested whether she woke up Paul. Judging by the sun high in the sky and the happy outdoor shouts, it was approaching noontime, if not after.

“Where are you going?” Paul groaned in her direction. Without looking back to him, Lily replied, “bathroom and shower,” and slammed the door behind her.

She sat on the toilet and half expected to see a month-or-so old fetus floating in the water when she stood up, but no such luck. She glanced in the mirror and was immediately drawn to the swollen bruise that lined her left eye. She poked at it once, felt the sting, then quickly turned away to the shower without allowing herself to explore that any further. She turned on the shower and let the calming flow of water ring in her ears. She wasn't ready to let go of the wide possibilities from yesterday, and when she remembered it, she forced herself to smile.

The afternoon had been a recovery in physical condition for both Lily and Paul, as well as a challenge in memory for Lily. She didn't want to think too hard on the night prior in fear of what she may remember. A large cup of coffee, lunch, some good conversation and friendly smiles were all Lily needed to regain her a new energetic disposition. After Paul had repeatedly apologized for the mysterious black eye that landed itself upon Lily and insisted on showing off the randomly placed teeth marks all over his body, he headed off to his shift at Homer's Bar, urging Lily to take a sweaty wad of cash to go shopping for anything other than the clothes on her back. The plan was that she would go purchase some clothes and makeup, then head to the bar for training before her shift. She complied, contemplating whether she had enough to purchase a ticket with the amount Paul gave her.

Lily stepped out of the hostel's back door and onto the warm Spanish asphalt. The sun was shining bright and promising another hot afternoon. She was still wearing her dirty jeans and clingy tank top with small flowers printed on it. She stared down at it long and hard, trying to remember where she got it and when she put it on.

As she pulled Paul's Ray-Bans down over her eyes, the heat felt good and in an instant

Lily remembered her nostalgia from the day before.

She strolled in and out of the little beachy shops, surprised to see so few Spanish people and so many English and Irish bars occupied by those designated residents. In addition to these non-indigenous people residing and working in this town, Lily noted an abundance of primarily

English-speaking tourists chattering about what adventures they were to embark on that evening.

She sorted through overtly trendy and bright clothes on crowded discount racks, eavesdropping on these other gossipy female twentysomethings enjoying their spring breaks.

The day smelled of fresh jasmine flowers and barbecue. Lily bought a large Kenzo

Flowers knock-off perfume bottle that was ordained with miniature hearts, two new skirts, three brightly colored and very trendy tank tops, and some black and red makeup. That should do, she thought with a smile as she made her way toward Lloret de Mar's Avinguda de Just Maries.

Ahead, Lily could see more college-aged jocks unloading from four large and rusted yellow school buses.

She decided to, instead of investigating, drop the few but very stylish and new belongings back at Paul’s beachfront hostel. He’s not too terrible a guy, Lily tried to console herself in between bouts of grief, wearily plopping her stuff down on the bed. The room was small but adorned with two massive French Doors that opened up one of the walls in the direction of the gorgeous beach, and being on the sixth floor created a majestic and rich feel that Lily could get used to. She walked over to the huge glass doors and heard the laughter seep inside from the beach. Immediately she craved being there.

She grabbed a few of her new items, stuffed them into her new bag, changed her clothes to match the vibe of the carefree, beachy day, and slammed the door behind her.

It was almost 4 pm, the time that Paul told her to meet him for training at the bar. Lily needed the money and really appreciated the favor, so she swallowed the urge to B-line straight to the beach and instead took the long route to the bar. She passed by the buses again and noticed there were more buses and more twentysomethings unloading from them. They looked like sports teams from a college. And from what she could hear, they were English.

As soon as she stepped into the doorway of Homer’s Bar, Paul came up to her and with fierce excitement, grabbed her and said, “Thank God you’re here! The Unis came a day earlier than we thought and we’re going to need you more than we thought tonight!”

After reading Lily’s puzzled face expression, Paul divulged that these were in fact the male and female rugby, football, and hockey teams from all over England. They were from

Leeds, Birmingham, Lancaster, Cambridge, Oxford, every University imaginable from greater

England, and every year they came to Lloret for about four days on their spring breaks. Every year this little beach town transformed into a college drunk and orgy-fest as these teams literally took over the town.

Lily must have had an ear-to-ear grin that Paul caught because a couple brief seconds after that explanation, he chucked the hand towel he had draped over his shoulder on to Lily’s and stated blankly, “Get to work,” before walking straight out the door and taking his new post as doorman.

When Lily came into the bar, there were only a few patrons who needed tending. The town was not yet infested with these intense English party animals. She cleaned up the bar and tables, rearranged various pieces of furniture and ran the dishes. Piece of cake.

Every so often Paul would come into the bar and make sure that the female bartender, who was already a few years Paige’s junior, had not bitch-eyed her to death. He would remind her how crazy busy it was going to get, distract her a bit, then head back outside to fraternize with the other bartenders and doormen around the block.

It was still hot and sunny outside, probably a mere few hours after Lily had come in to work, when the first ‘crew’ dawned upon Homer’s Bar. The female bartender, Jesse, gave Lily a very vague run-through of what to do before sending her out to deal with the already drunk Unis.

This rugby fraternity wore only white towels duck taped in various and auspicious styles around their otherwise very naked and muscular bodies. Lily was happy to serve them.

“Hey there,” a very chiseled and Greek statuesque Towel Boy met Lily’s eyes within an inch or so from her face. “I’m Simon and my boys and I here would like a round of Stella’s please.” Lily was speechless, face to face with potentially the most handsome man she had ever seen in real life. He had an incredibly beautiful and kind smile with slight puppy eyes. His lips were a pouty English, and the rest of his features were very structured and chiseled. Lily found herself staring.

“Uh, yes, of course,” she broke her trance, scanned the approximately dozen Towel Boys, and headed toward the bar to deliver their order to Jesse, who was standing, all 5’10” of her, arms crossed and glaring at Lily from behind the bar.

Lily got the drinks and delivered them to the boys one by one, saving Simon for last.

When she set his beer down in front of him, he gently grabbed her arm, then standing up said to meet her eyes; “Won’t you play with us?” Lily smiled coyly at Simon, set down her tray and fended off the piercing stars that tore through the flesh on her back from the bar.

Simon went on to explain that because a few of their teammates had lost their shirts on the beach doing God knows what, they were all dressed in towels they picked up from the beach.

How they scored the tape to hold the shabby towels together, Lily did not know, but that was least of her concerns.

Simon went on to explain the bar game that the rest of the boys were playing, being interrupted from time to time by these teammates who were chiming in to spill some embarrassing or enhancing bit of news about Simon to Lily, then slapping him on the back, taking a huge swig of their beers and rejoining the rest of the team in whatever game they were playing. Lily adjusted, tugged at, and altered his towel like a girlfriend carefully smoothing out her boyfriend's wrinkled collar. Simon appreciated it and held very still while she did so. Every once in a while, Lily saw Paul pace in front of the door and saunter in and out of the bar, eying the situation between her and Simon. There’s no one else in the damn bar! She thought.

Every time the boys would order another drink, they included Lily, so a few rounds later and she was approaching drunk. About two and a half Stellas into whatever bar game they were playing now, and Simon decided to initiate Lily into their group. Once he proposed this idea to his bros, they hooted with excitement. She gave a modest giggle, finished the rest of her beer, then complied to be part of the Plymouth football team.

Simon explained that whenever the captain blew his whistle, they all had to stop midwhatever they were doing (including Lily) and freeze, not moving a muscle. She played the game with the boys and at one point, one of the boys who had not secured his towel that was only slightly holding on around his waist unwrapped itself from his body and fluttered to the floor mid-freeze. This caused a massive burst of laugher from all over the bar and the very toned and cut young man stood, completely naked and penis dangling, frozen, trying not to break his pose with a stifled laughter. A few times Lily herself laughed so hard that she lost her concentration and broke her own freeze, which meant an article of clothing was to be removed as punishment. She had an advantage by not wearing only a towel, which a few of the guys who had moved had already taken off as punishment and were now completely naked by default. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had laughed that hard. It had been a long, long time ago.

…CONTINUED…